To think this is cruel on the children?

I wish! DH and I work full time and we've had a rough ride with holiday camps. Fortunately grandparents typically provide a cover 2-3 times a week which is the favoured option for all involved parties. Not all grandparents are dragons despite their reputation on MN.

We were always sent to my Nans for the long holidays it was great I loved it.

I wouldn't have liked this, but if the grandparents are nice and welcoming, it could be a good experience for a week or two. I can't see the justification for it being for the whole summer, as surely between them, the parents can save at least two weeks off together. Obviously, if there is something special about their jobs which means they both have to work all summer, that is different, but should mean parents undivided attention in all the other school holidays.

My DC was flown over to Ireland and stayed with grandparents for 2-3 wks in the summer holidays only. I would stay there too and work when younger but the only other option was long days in holiday clubs. He was already attending after school club. We had no family near us; it was the best option. Spending a few weeks by the sea vs being cooped up in his school playground/hall for most of the summer essentially never getting a break from school.

I’m taken aback that this is even being discussed. This is the reality when you have two working parents with 25 days leave each a year and mortgage/bills to pay. We didn’t do it for other holidays but needs must!

Why would that be cruel and why would you think it’s hard on the children? If it works for a family then I don’t see why this wouldn’t be a good idea? My husband was always sent to his grandparents and he has wonderful memories of it.

I couldn’t do it with my kids, I’d miss them too much but I was sent to my grandparents constantly from about 2 and I had a lovely bond with them, they were like my parents really and I was happy enough 🤷🏻‍♀️ hopefully these children are the same.

I am I the north east of England and my son and daughter’s grandparents are in Cornwall and Oxfordshire. They are older but would still only be happy with a week or so.

I got shipped off to my maternal GPs every school hols - they lived a 15-minute drive away from us and I'd only see my parents at weekends. GPs didn't drive but my parents did so absolutely no reason why they couldn't have picked me up/dropped me off each day. Looking back I honestly think my mother just couldn't be arsed being a parent. Much as I loved my GPs it was pretty lonely.

If it's a choice between grandparents or summer holiday "clubs" if I was in that situation I'd choose grandparents.
Those clubs (or "camps" they are often oddly called) just feels like more school and not a holiday.

I went to my grandparents every summer holiday, they were always the best and happiest six weeks of the year.

We don’t live near our childrens grandma anymore, he’s going to stay with her for a week during the summer holidays, he’s made himself a countdown chart as he’s so excited about spending a whole week with her.

And in the same thread that you reference there were many posters who said it’s fine for their kids to go to grandparents for sleepovers and those that said otherwise. That’s life, do what works for you.

Sounds fantastic. I would love that for my kids, and if grandparents were capable of it they would love it too.

I think boarding school would be far more detrimental to a child's wellbeing.

I was shipped off with my sister (we're the eldest) while my two younger siblings stayed home with my parents. Mum didn't work so it wasn't a childcare issue. Although I loved going it's also left me feeling resentful towards my mum for not wanting to spend time with me, for letting her mother bring me up, and for not really knowing me all that well. She cried when I went to uni and I was like, why? You couldn't wait to get rid of me most of the time! So yes, even if the kids are spending time with loved ones, it can be cruel and I wouldn't do it to my own children. Funnily enough she's not a hands-on grandparent either.

I was thinking the same thing.

It really is not your business and actually quite something if you are supposed to be their friend.

DF and his sister have wonderful memories of being shipped off to their grandparents and maiden aunts who lived in the country every summer until high school, when they took summer jobs. The setting is magical and I have no doubt they were spoiled rotten!

TBF part of their mum’s thinking may have been that summer was polio season, and this was before the vaccine.

None of this changes the fact that their mum was utterly devoted and the most important person in their lives as they grew up. (Their DF was a good but slightly removed father as he was frequently at sea). Perhaps that’s why she didn’t worry about being usurped.

I know a fair number of children who went to India and China every year for summer holidays with grandparents and extended family while their parents stayed to work in the UK. It’s very much the norm for expats and the children seemed to enjoy themselves hugely. I know they were missed but the benefit (and expectation) of maintaining close family ties ‘at home’ played a big part in their parents’ decision. It doesn’t seem to have had any ill effects on the children.

I spent the majority of school holidays with my childless aunt and uncle up until I was around 17. Their home was a farm only around 15 miles away from home and my DPs and siblings would visit. I absolutely loved it and them. We are still very close though they are very elderly now and aunt is terminally ill. I will miss them so much. My DP’s are both now gone and they were such a support through those times.

Mine go to my parents for the majority of every school holiday. They refuse to go to holiday club now having been over the years and there is simply not enough annual leave to cover all the holidays. They enjoy spending time with their grandparents and extended family while they are away

As an Eastern European, this is true. I spent probably 95% of my holidays away at my grandparents summer house with them, and lots of weekends with various relatives. I had an absolutely brilliant time, and have the fondest memories of it. I don’t remember missing my parents as we called them often from the pay phone and they usually joined us for a week. Happiest of times.

I wonder if it possibly depends on the age gap between generations?

I suppose if the age gap is 18 years, then when the kids are 8, the grandparents are 44 and that woule obviously be great.

If the age gap is 35 as in my family then it would mean sending an 8 year old to stay with grandparents and who are 78, and have rapidly advancing dementia and deafness. That clearly wouldn't be quite so good.

Several friends had their first babies at 48. I do not think that it would be a good idea for them to ship the kids off to the grandparents for 6 weeks. (102 years old?)

It's also probably a bit dependent on where the grandparents live. If they run a farm out in the country then it's great. If they live alone in a studio flat at the rough end of a big city and there are 6 grandchildren, then that might not be so good.

So I think it probably varies a great deal from one family to another.

Parents do what works for them 🤷‍♀️ And presumably everyone prefers this to holiday clubs which can be very expensive anyway. I think it will be harder on the kids as they get older though and it becomes more important to them to have time with friends in the holidays. (Saw this with a custody arrangement in my family.. mum and dad at opposite ends of the country so the dc was with one parent term time and the other the majority of the holidays.)

It's only what I did as a child
I absolutely loved it!
Also went every November for two weeks while mum and dad went to Spain.

Mine just won't go to holiday club so my parents abroad have them. I take a week at the start and also end of the school holidays to spend time with them. My parents see it the same as if they were helping out with childcare each week and lived nearby-just condensed.