To think this is cruel on the children?

This.they could be amazing grandparents....just do your own thing..

This was me as a child. we lived just outside London and my grandparents were in Scotland. I was sent there for summer and Easter holidays etc until I was about 11/12. I loved it. It was a huge adventure being in the beautiful Scottish countryside & playing on the beach at St Andrews. My grandparents lived in a tiny one street village with a local shop and their cottage backed onto a working farm. I would go collect the fresh cream, milk & butter every morning from the farmers wife. I had my Scottish cousins to play with and didn’t miss home or my parents at all as I remember. The time flew by, I didn’t want to come home.

they will have an excellent time with lots of cherished memories of quality time with GPs and making local friends during summer and the experiences and the spoiling!

Don’t think you should be judging someone else’s decision- maybe they don’t have a choice. However I have a 4 yo & there’s no way in the world I could go 6 weeks without seeing her when she’s 5. Think that’s way too young to be away from your parents for that long. 9 year old more understandable - but all comes down to whether this is a choice for them or not.

This is very common in Europe (at least Eastern Europe, where we don't have the concept of SAHMs).

The whole point is that it's up to the parents, who know their child best, how to provide for them during the school holidays. You aren't equipped to make a judgement

Some parents take extra leave or tag team, some conclude that their child will be happier with their gran than in a holiday club. Some prefer summer camp.

Mine adored holiday club, he spent four weeks cycling around the local senior school grounds on his bike with his little tribe of friends. He never once had a sleepover with his gran, because neither would have enjoyed it.

I used to do this when I was working full time. My kids loved their time with their grandparents. I would drive down to see them at weekends. So much better than paid childcare. I was lucky that my parents lived in a sea side holiday resort, my adult children still remember this time with fondness. It made up for the time that they could not see them due to living so far away.

Spent all summer at grandparents. It was heaven. Best memories of my life.

I went to boarding school from 11 to 16, and absolutely loved it! It was totally my choice - my Dad was in the forces and moved a lot so they would pay for children to have stability in their secondary education. But I was never under pressure to go, and my mum was a SAHP. My two younger sisters chose not to go but my two brothers did.

I had probably read too many Malory Towers books when choosing to go - but boarding school was great. A fantastic education, amazing sports facilities, learned a load of life skills, and gained a second family. I'm friends with several of my dorm-mates still 40 years later and we all meet up a couple of times a year.

I suppose I missed my family but the excitement of the weekly letter, and the occasional phone call home addressed that. I looked forward to the holidays and exeats - but at the end of the holidays I looked forward to going back to school too.

I'm not aware of anyone in my house that was unhappy to be there. I'm sure there are children who are 'sent away' (and some at a horribly young age, which is awful) - but plenty of us went through choice and had good experiences - so we shouldn't make blanket judgements.

(That said - I'd have been heartbroken to send my two away. But maybe if I'd had five it would have been different......😂)

Well don’t send your own kids away for 6 weeks then? Weird and pointless thread.

I used to do this a bit as a kid i got spoilt by grandparents and other relatives and great adventures and wonderful memories parents always seem to control kids these days a lot more

I know quite a few people who do this. In the cases I know of, one reason is to maintain the children's bilingualism. And of course it's wonderful for children to strengthen the bond they have with their grandparents.

I don't know if I personally would do this, but I can't say that there's anything cruel about a child spending time with loving family members.

I was going to say this. Or Arthur Ransome.

Children have spent holidays with family members for centuries. It can be amazing fun. Maybe sometimes it's dull - but if the parents are working there may be no choice.

Several of my teenage DCs live with grandparents full time due to various reasons. At least its family.

As long as they are loved and happy it's fine - and hopefully a great adventure. As a PP has said, the parents may be crying their eyes out as they drive away - I know I would have hated not to have mine at home. But sometimes needs must.

And even if OPs friend doesn't need to send them to the GPs - she may be struggling to cope or have MH issues requiring some downtime. She may also be a bit self-centred and just want some 'her' time - which most of us would find odd, but won't necessarily damage her children.

Swallows and Amazons forever.......🙂

Cruel? My weeks at my grandparents were a blast. They even let me use their library card as well as my own - so I could take out 12 books 😂.

Making a cake at 4 am because we could was a particular favourite. Midnight feasts like Malory towers! Watching the foxes and rabbits. Beach trips. Drawing. Playing post offices and shops. Watching countdown.

Amazing memories. I’d have stayed there for the 6 weeks. I’d do 2 weeks at one and as much as possible at the others.

Longer. 6 weeks is the minimum at some of the camps we looked at - we actually had trouble finding ones local to my mom that offered sessions ‘only’ 1-2 weeks. Summer holidays are something like 12 weeks, and parents will have less holiday entitlement than in the uk, so it isn’t uncommon for camps to go 9+ weeks. Short sessions are seen as more difficult than longer sessions, as children are able to form stronger bonds over time and feel more secure in the experience.

they are very expensive and a bit of a premium solution to the summer childcare dilemma, but for those that partake it is a cherished tradition. Not the right thing for every child, but for many of my friends who went it was a central part of their childhood and something they looked back on with a great deal of fond nostalgia.

The decidedly iffy Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin then just packed them off with meat paste sandwiches, heaps of tomatoes and lashings of ginger beer to the nearest available uninhabited island, too. Usually on the very first afternoon.

The kids probably love their grandparents and are very close to them especially if this happens every year. They probably get spoiled whilst they are there. Nothing cruel about it at all. Working parents don't get enough leave to change very 13 weeks school holidays.

What's cruel about it? Are they being tortured by their grandparents? My parents have a really close relationship with my daughter and do loads of things with her. She used to go to them for the holidays since she was a toddler and now as teen she still wants to go because she has a good time there.

Then you get the super-rich who back in the day would install their children in an entirely different home with servants and told to just get on with it. Winston Churchill was raised like this (and suffered from depression his whole life).

This isn't a new thing. My sister and I spent 6 weeks with our grandparents every summer. We had great fun, trips to the zoo, museums, parks, train rides, boat rides. Nothing cruel about it!

What about the many posters who've told us how much they loved going to their grandparents for the holidays? Do you think they are lying?

Can't you settle for "it might be cruel for some children if they have evil/infirm grandparents"?

My dd stayed with grandparents for 5 weeks every summer from 4-12 ish. The alternative was holiday clubs.

She loved it. Beach days, aunties, grandparents. Her aunties friends.
What is lovely is at 14/15 she would still go for a couple of weeks because she wanted to see them all.
She has always text her grandparents regularly even at 13-16. Now as an adult she drives there 4/5 times a year to stay for a weekend or a week.

She looks back at it with fond memories.

Face timed her gran and aunts every evening over lockdown.

We did loads together in term time, I missed her but wanted her to see her relatives and have fun.

I loved staying with my grandparents, I’d chose to stay most weekends, baking, playing, singing etc and I’m glad she got a similar experience. I still miss mine daily.

Cruel? In most societies parents rely on a network of family and friends to take care of their children. Not just because it is easier on the parent, but also because it is better for the children. Expecting the nuclear family to do it all puts a lot of pressure on parents, and also isn’t great for children.

Aren’t US summer camps around six weeks too, so the children won’t see their parents for the entire school holidays? Obviously a middle-class thing but sort of the norm.

I adored my grandmother and would have loved to spend the summer with her.