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Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

497 replies

nosleepoverss · 21/04/2025 19:22

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

OP posts:
PonkyPonky · 21/04/2025 21:21

DS didn’t go for a sleepover with grandparents until he was nearly 5. I waited until he asked to. I certainly wouldn’t have considered it while still breastfeeding. I never coslept but I can imagine that would be a barrier as well. Don’t do it until you and your child are ready. I will say though that now when he goes, it’s like a little holiday for him and he has so much fun there. He’s creating precious memories and a lovely bond with grandparents.

Ionacat · 21/04/2025 21:19

I would have no issue with my parents and my Mum looked after DC1 at ours whilst we had a night away and I suspect they would have had them on holiday if they were still alive. I don’t trust my in-laws - heavy sleepers and they don’t have much of a relationship with them. They’ve stayed with my sister and I’ve had my nieces in return - they like a cousin sleepover!

IthasYes · 21/04/2025 21:18

Again totally depends on so many factors, mine had a few when they were older and they came back strange, different, colder somehow reserved then it took a while to get them back to normal so we said no

MammaTo · 21/04/2025 21:17

Yes mine have stayed out since about 8 months old. It’s an absolute treat, can have a slow morning, a nice coffee in bed etc. They’ve had weekends away at the sea side with cousins and loved it. I highly recommend it to anyone, the guilt and anxiety over leaving them soon fades when you have a full nights kip.

Hwi · 21/04/2025 21:17

longapple · 21/04/2025 21:15

What frightens you about it?

Abnormality scares me in every respect.

Hwi · 21/04/2025 21:16

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 21/04/2025 21:13

Biology says otherwise. Natural term weaning is generally up to about 7ish. Its not forced it's totally DD's choice. In many countries not breastfeeding to natural term is unusual.

WHO recomend breastfeeding until 2 years and beyond. It continues to have benefit.

But you do you, i'll do me.

You do understand WHO deals with countries where water is so unsafe, infant mortality is through the roof and there is no food for both children and adults so for the children not to die of starvation, WHO issues this guidance, so you must understand why they issue this guidance, surely you do?

longapple · 21/04/2025 21:15

Hwi · 21/04/2025 21:13

This. It is scary.

What frightens you about it?

harijes · 21/04/2025 21:15

7 x 2, nearly 6 and 4.

never had a sleepover anywhere. grandparents contributed to my exhaustion and delusions but gave no practical help.

interestingly we have close friends sleep here, and they have offered same, and mine are not interested.

first two bottle fed, second two breast fed to around two years, baby three along with baby four. First two adopted before anyone questions that. Everyone cosleeps in some crazy massive bed.

absolutely see no benefit in breastfeeding a four or five year old

SendBooksAndTea · 21/04/2025 21:14

Mine started at 5, she absolutely begged to and loves going there for a night in the holidays. I miss her terribly, but it's good for her and she enjoys it.

Hwi · 21/04/2025 21:13

ThejoyofNC · 21/04/2025 19:43

Totally disagree with your first paragraph. It's not normal and in no way beneficial. Quite the opposite to be honest.

This. It is scary.

Cococococonut · 21/04/2025 21:13

My DS 12 months sleeps over at MILs every couple of weeks. MIL loves it, he gets spoilt and we get a break. I usually spend the free evening cleaning and catching up on washing!

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 21/04/2025 21:13

ThejoyofNC · 21/04/2025 19:43

Totally disagree with your first paragraph. It's not normal and in no way beneficial. Quite the opposite to be honest.

Biology says otherwise. Natural term weaning is generally up to about 7ish. Its not forced it's totally DD's choice. In many countries not breastfeeding to natural term is unusual.

WHO recomend breastfeeding until 2 years and beyond. It continues to have benefit.

But you do you, i'll do me.

Bippityboppitybooo · 21/04/2025 21:12

@nosleepoverss Mine don't either. Dps mum is physically unable and v far away - I do not trust my own parents (who live a boat ride away so not accessible if the kids have an emergency) to keep them physically safe (lots of violence for me as a child).

Both of mine also co sleep still, eldest for health reasons, youngest is still breastfeeding (heavily...) like yours at 3. And to pp, yes I'd rather she have stopped by now, I am not doing it for me, but because she finds immense comfort in it after full time nursery/frequent hospital stays with her big brother/work trips. It's the first and last thing she wants each day, and I can't imagine she'll go to school asking for it, like I can't imagine ds will still be asking to co sleep at university.

longapple · 21/04/2025 21:11

pinkstripeycat · 21/04/2025 21:07

Yes 2 not 3 or 4 or even god forbid as PP said 5! 😂

Tell me you don't know what "at least" means without saying it...

70sShmeventies · 21/04/2025 21:11

Breastfeed at 3 here too!

We do it because we still get broken nights and early morning and need a break!
We also get to go out for a meal and the kids love it. Win win.

MiserableMrsMopp · 21/04/2025 21:10

Definitely done sleepovers with GC. Twice or three times a week at times, despite finding it exhausting.

They love it. So do I. It fosters a lovely closeness.

YouBelongWithMe · 21/04/2025 21:10

Mine LOVED sleepovers at grandparents. Probably started about 3 and happened every month or so until they outgrew it. Mine are 17, 15, 13 and haven't slept over anywhere for several years. They like being at home and don't want to sleep somewhere else. I'm glad the grandparents got lots of that lovely bonding time before it was over. If we needed to go somewhere now, our eldest would stay and be in charge, so I don't anticipate another grandparent/child sleepover... Until we get to be the grandparents!

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/04/2025 21:09

Mine have had sleepovers with Grandparents since 6 weeks old but they were formula fed and happily slept in baskets/cots.

Pickingmyselfup · 21/04/2025 21:07

Mine don't and never have on a regular basis because it's not practical due to the distance but they've had overnight stays at ours with grandparents whilst we are away for the weekend.

I stayed over at my grandparents on my mum's side loads and it was great whilst I was young, as I got older they used to annoy me!

Not so much on my dad's side due to the distance but my parents would often go out for dinner whilst we were staying with her leaving her to babysit and me to sneak down after they had left and sit eating crisps. Some lovely memories of the time we spent together.

Unless there are safety concerns I think it's a shame that some parents don't allow it because there is no need. It's always useful to know that someone can have your kids overnight if you ever want to do stuff without them or in an emergency or something and it's great for the grandparents and children relationships.

ChateauMargaux · 21/04/2025 21:07

Flashback to me going out of the house for a few hours leaving my parents with my three kids... I came back and all three children were upset.. I never got to the bottom of what happened... never left them again..

pinkstripeycat · 21/04/2025 21:07

Sunshineandpool · 21/04/2025 19:47

You didn't know people still breastfeed at 3????? I breastfed both of mine until 4. The WHO recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years.

Yes 2 not 3 or 4 or even god forbid as PP said 5! 😂

Justrestingmyeyes1 · 21/04/2025 21:06

Keepgettingolder81 · 21/04/2025 19:53

Regularly since babies and a week in France at my Mum’s place in the summer.
both now 18/15, amazing relationship with all of
them.
DH and I have been very lucky in the amount of ‘breaks’ we have had together. Definitely kept our relationship really young.

Same here. They had sleep overs at both sets of grandparents regularly from a few months old. They also stayed with one or other of the grandparents for a week and several weekends each year so my husband and I could go away together. My children are now 30 and 27 and have amazing bonds with their grandparents.
My eldest is now a father of one with another on the way and I have had my 2 year old grandson overnight numerous times and am looking forward to doing the same for the new baby too.

Mumofoneandone · 21/04/2025 21:06

Only place my 7 and 9 year olds are allowed to sleep over is grandparents!! They love it.

ChateauMargaux · 21/04/2025 21:05

I never felt that my parents were safe people to look after my children. My in laws were to some extent but they were not super keen.. and when my third child came along, he had health issues that flared up when he was around mould and damp (my parents) and smokers (my inlaws) .. so sleepovers were not safe for him.

Peekingovertheparapet · 21/04/2025 21:04

We never have. Distance plays a part, but also the PIL were not so great with my kids when they were really little and I never felt wholly comfortable leaving them even for a few hours. Now PIL are old and the DC find them boring. We left the kids alone with them for an hour or so recently and one child in particular always complains that they are unkind. The other child corroborates different treatment, and I’ve seen first hand what I consider favouritism. I’ll be quite clear, I don’t think any harm has come to my children, just the vibe that they gel with one child more than the other means that I’ll never leave them alone with the kids for longer than absolutely needed.