In-laws always seat me away from my child at dining table

Come on, you are being ridiculous.

to me, you are completely ignorant @ThisFluentBiscuit.

However, I defend your right to express, what you think is your truth.

I take it the dad is French? And children are quick learners. At 2 they hardly speak anyway but I would think he understands basic French with a French dad.

Do you serious believe that Catholicism is not majorly sexist? Am left-wing TYVM. Did you realise that the late pope upheld not ordaining women? Why would you NOT want to call out this horrific sexism? It's YOU whose name is Nige or Tommy, for thinking that the right-wing nonsense of Catholicism is OK!

Guys I think @NicolaCasanova has kind of clarified this issue pretty authoritatively.
No need for more pontification - esp as much of it is just suggesting upsetting scenarios.

I find it really weird that you never questioned it or asked to sit next to your son. Your in-laws are French so maybe its a cultural thing for them but surely if you are uncomfortable you would speak up? I just dont get it. Are you in unequal marriage to someone much wealthier than you are? Like, are you heavily dependent on his family/ scared of them?

Wrong thread!

is the 2 year old bilingual then @arcticpandas?

From the title I thought the child was six or seven years old, not just turned two! I'd definitely be swapping to sit right next to him!

Maybe they want to have a relationship with your child ? It would be hard for them to have a conversation with him in French when he's next to you speaking English 🤷‍♀️. For his birthday you could just have gone up standing next to him. I don't think they are rude but if you're not happy you'll need to tell them or have your DH tell them. Personally I think you are unreasonable wanting to spend every second with your son. If he's happy you ought to be happy. Let him be and talk to the people next to you to practice your French.

Aww mate, you sound very kind and thoughtful but you need to stand up for yourself. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to and that includes being sat aside from your DS.
You hold the cards, remember that.
Next time just swap with your DH and if MIL doesn't like that then it'll be a long time before you visit again.

Why can’t your husband just breezily say oh wife and I are swapping?

Is your name Nigel or may be Tommy!!!

Edited for spelling

I personally think this might be to give you a break and so you can relax. I dont think they would want to make you feel like you do.

My in laws do this. Just swap with your DH or ask to move. If they’re like my in laws they won’t like it but will know they can’t refuse as your the mother and their guest.

This was totally my thought. Why is there always such a negative feeling and if something bothers you maybe don’t get upset, speak to your husband and cry about it and just do something.

Maybe they think they are being nice and giving you a break. Maybe they don’t see your son very often and are all trying to be as close to him as possible.

Do you speak the language? Maybe they want some time in French with their grandson.

Massive overreaction in my book sorry.

@RareGoalsVerge

ne soyez pas un imbécile condescendant "google translate"

Exactly. And massively sexist.

Why not? Catholicism must be the most sexist major religion in the world, with its insistence on women bearing children whether they want to or not, refusing to ordain women, and teaching that here is no divorce and that second marriages are adultery. So that's just lovely for women who are escaping abusive spouses. The church's teachings can affect its believers deeply, even if lapsed or left the church altogether. Many Catholics are very sexist, as you would be if you believed all that. It deserves to be called out, as does the sexist culture it creates.

She is a GUEST - she has no rights in that house.

How come you don't speak enough French yet to be able to communicate the basics? It's presumably been at least 2y9m since you knew you were going to be the mum of someone half french. Have you signed up for lessons? Asked DP to help you practice?

Je m'assoirai à côté de mon enfant. Je veux être sur les photos avec lui en ce jour spécial.

@Stravaig

""more pleasing manners than are typical in UK/US!"

language teaches better manners? interesting

My in laws used to do this - very strange. After the first time, I would always sit in my husbands seat. They stopped doing it pretty soon.

It’s a weird way of putting the mum of the child in her place- almost relegating her to the role of baby incubator so they can enjoy baby with their precious son without a non blood relative getting in the way.

It is very odd and seems strange not to sit you and DH together too but could it be well intentioned e.g. they think they’re giving you a break?

It's natural that DH's family want to immerse themselves in their grandson on a visit. You are with him all the time.

It sounds like they are treating you with respect as a person in your own right, and trying to give you a break from constant Mummy demands. Be glad of the chance to have an uninterrupted adult meal, and focus on getting to know DH's side of the family while practising your French.

I think this is your personal challenge. You feel out of place, so want to cling to DS as a bit of a blankie; but that's not fair to him, or his paternal family, or good for you.

Lucky DS growing up bilingual, and comfortable in two cultures, and with more pleasing manners than are typical in UK/US!