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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To abandon the extension?

167 replies

Extendorsave · 21/04/2025 17:11

Just after some opinions really as DH and I can't decide what to do and are after some Mumsnet wisdom.
We bought a 1930s semi 2 years ago with the intention of doing an extension. It's a 5 bed semi (2 rooms in the loft) but it needed loads of work. It currently has a small old kitchen and separate dining room, it feels small downstairs. Our plan was to knock through, get a new kitchen and build a utility on the side. We've been quoted about 50-60k for this. We borrowed the money as part of the initial mortgage, planning to do it quicky and have it in a high interest account.
We have 3 kids aged 8, 5 and 2, and planning one more possibly.

As time goes on I feel like we would be better off keeping this money. I imagine all the lovely holidays it would cover, and possibly helping the kids through expensive phases. We are not struggling for money, we can afford a basic holiday every year, but the extra money would mean nicer holidays, maybe extra trips, the ability to not worry about money and buy things we need. Or we could even pay off some of the 380k mortgage!
We also have an additional 30k in savings if that makes a difference, which is our back up money as DH is self employed, so it will remain untouched.

My DH thinks we should do the extension and prioritise making the house nice to live in, I am having doubts as I'm not sure a side utility will make a huge amount of difference to our lives but I do see how much nicer it would be to have an open plan space for having friends over and spending more time together as a family. I don't think it would add much value we there is a ceiling to houses in our road. We might not make it all back if we sold and ideally we don't want to move for a long time.

Anyone had a similar dilemma? What did you do?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Saz12 · 21/04/2025 17:42

Personally, Id knock the dining room and.kitchen together (assuming you have a separate living room).
I wouldnt bother extending just for a utility room. Maybe some sort of carport roof thing to get an under cover drying area at the absolute most, but I probably wouldn't even do that.

Edited to add : the money left over is repaid immediately either way. It's completely crazy to spend it on holidays /days out/treats.

neighbours123 · 21/04/2025 17:36

The money is clearly burning a hole in your pocket. MADNESS to use it for holidays. Talk about living beyond your means. Use it on the house or get shot and reduce the mortgage so you’ve more money each month.

Zeitumschaltung · 21/04/2025 17:34

I would add the utility room but wouldn’t knock the rooms together as I suspect this trend will change. Are there any other changes you could make that would increase the space you have for less money than originally planned?

pinotnow · 21/04/2025 17:33

I think it would make very poor financial sense to borrow £60k and then spend it on holidays and trips. However, it does sound as if the extension isn't really needed. Maybe you could put it into the mortgage (I think you said it's not a separate loan but has been added to the mortgage) and then when you come to renew, which I assume will be in 2, 3 or 5 years, if you are still hankering after the extension, borrow more then. If that's an option I think it's what I'd do, though if dh is adamant about the extension and you agreed and are now backtracking, I'd be annoyed in his shoes.

Orangebadger · 21/04/2025 17:31

Do the extension. We moved into a top heavy house. It felt so cramped as the kids got older. The extension balances the house out. It’s added value to our home so I see it as an investment. Also the utility room was a game changer! Would not want to live without one especially with lots of children.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/04/2025 17:30

You’ve borrowed this money to do the house, you’d be absolutely daft to waste the borrowed money on holidays!

BakelikeBertha · 21/04/2025 17:29

In my opinion you'd be mad to spend that money on holidays and such, also, while it's sitting in a bank account, even if it's making a decent interest rate, it may not keep up with building costs, so I'd definitely get on and get the work done on your house.

MovingAlongNicely · 21/04/2025 17:29

Do the extension. Not sure why you want to just fritter away the money

lilao · 21/04/2025 17:29

Can you post a floor plan?

andtheworldrollson · 21/04/2025 17:27

Any compromises possible? Knock through for a new kitchen without the utility ? I love nice holidays and low financial stress

Needlesnah · 21/04/2025 17:24

I have - 1920’s ex LA mid terrace. The previous owners built a basic ground floor extension to the back, which opened up the previous tiny kitchen area and essentially turned the living room in to a double reception area. It’s still not a massive house but that extension makes a world of difference, particularly with me and 3 teens bopping about.

Previously I’ve rented in Victorian and 1930’s terraces that have had side returns or extensions made to the rear. Every single time it makes a big difference to the living space.

If it was me I would do it. And as pp say - if you don’t use the money to add value then you should pay it back.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/04/2025 17:24

Extendorsave · 21/04/2025 17:11

Anyone had a similar dilemma? What did you do?

Since "we don't want to move for a long time" and "it feels small downstairs" and you "do see how much nicer it would be to have an open plan space for having friends over and spending more time together as a family" - I would do the extension.

It doesn't matter that it won't add much to the house value, this is your home and it would make your home a better home for you all. Do the extension, reap the benefit of the space working better for your family.

Original poster

Extendorsave · 21/04/2025 17:18

Silvertulips · 21/04/2025 17:15

You either spend this on the extention or you pay it back. You do not waste it on holidays!

If adding an extention frees up room elsewhere then do it, it it makes your life easier then do it.

When it comes to selling it will be an added bonus.

If you plan on staying it has to work - if you plan on moving it has to sell.

Thanks for the advice. Do you mean, if we plan on staying we should make sure the house works for us?
This is very much DHs view. He thinks we need the utility and would enjoy the house far more with an open plan space. I struggle to commit to a house long term, but I guess it would help us sell it too.

OP posts:

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 21/04/2025 17:17

I'd have the work done. I'd love a utility room!

blinkbonny · 21/04/2025 17:17

I would do the extension. As the kids grow, you’ll appreciate the living space more and you are more likely to regret NOT doing it than doing it. Speaking as someone who put off and put off doing an extension and now is finally going ahead with it even though my children are grown and largely gone - I still really want the extra space that I could never bring myself to do while they were small! I’d vote strongly that you do it. Good luck!