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AIBU?

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Men talking at me

121 replies

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 16:43

A new male colleague has just started in my Job.

He has this way of talking AT women. For example, me , my boss another woman and him went for a coffee. My boss invited him then my boss had to leave early. So we were sitting with him. He will start telling a story about his life, and he will go on and on and on. And not even involve us in the conversation. He will talk at us, and not pause for a second.

To get a word in, is really hard. I will try to interrupt his stream of talk, but he will keep talking on over me. I've become so irritated that if it is me and another woman and him sitting there now, and he is talking on and on about himself, I will just turn to the woman and ask her something completely different. And then the two of us have our own chat. That does get him to stop

I realised i know a lot of men like this at work. They just talk on and on AT women. They expect us to just sit there listening to them.

Do you know men like that? How do you deal with them?

OP posts:
SeriaMau · 21/04/2025 17:44

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 16:56

And yet...I believe I'm allowed to have an opinion.

And in my opinion, it's the men I work with, that do this. Not the women

I'm entitled to my opinion, thanks.

Yes, but what’s the POINT of your post?
You know someone who talks a lot? Not really very interesting post. Or are you trying to make a point about men?

SallyWD · 21/04/2025 17:43

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:31

I think there's a few men on this thread.

As there are some posters on here who seem strangely hurt that I dare to criticise men in any way.

I'm happy to criticise men when I feel it's deserved but I won't go along with an assertion against men for the sake of it. I've genuinely never noticed men do this and I've worked in lots of places. I do know plenty of people who like the sound of their own voices - both male and female.

AliBaliBee1234 · 21/04/2025 17:42

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:31

I think there's a few men on this thread.

As there are some posters on here who seem strangely hurt that I dare to criticise men in any way.

Why would you need to be a man to defend them? What a strange thought process.

I'm very much a woman and found your post unfair as I actually know WAY MORE women who behave this way. I'm sorry your experience is different but this is a discussion forum and if you can only cope with your opinion being right then it isn't for you.

Squirrelblanket · 21/04/2025 17:41

I know a few people like this but the worst one is female. She's a very kind person but is almost always broadcast only. We sometimes give her a lift to work (we all work at the same place) and we often comment that it's like listening to the radio in the car. She just talks and talks. 😂

SallyWD · 21/04/2025 17:40

I've never noticed this. Maybe he talks at men too? I've known people who are autistic and some of them talk at people.

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:38

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 17:33

Because the sisterhood couldn’t possibly disagree with you 🤣😂

There are definitely men on here. I can spot them a mile off

OP posts:
Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:36

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 17:33

Because the sisterhood couldn’t possibly disagree with you 🤣😂

What’s funny?

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 17:33

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:31

I think there's a few men on this thread.

As there are some posters on here who seem strangely hurt that I dare to criticise men in any way.

Because the sisterhood couldn’t possibly disagree with you 🤣😂

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:31

I think there's a few men on this thread.

As there are some posters on here who seem strangely hurt that I dare to criticise men in any way.

OP posts:
Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:31

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 17:29

Oh come in OP, don’t be disingenuous. The tone of your post was to creative a narrative that men particularly do this, that it’s a male issue.

Some have agreed, many haven’t, it’s logical when someone responds, to say why they disagree with you.

I said it's the men at work that do this. Not the women.

I think I know what happens in my own workplace. The women don't do it

OP posts:
Fabulousagain · 21/04/2025 17:31

These threads are coming in thick and fast to day.
Op how many more shit made up threads are you planning on posting to day.

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 17:29

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:24

The point is , why is it relevant?

If I wrote "a man is sexually harassing me at work".

And you came on and wrote "women sexually harass people too".

What has that got to do with anything?

We all know that some women in the world , sexually harass people. But I am talking about a particular incident that has happened to me. It's not relevant to what I'm saying.

So when I write "a man talks over me at work". You coming on and saying "women do that too" ....what does that have to do with what I'm saying?

Edited

Oh come in OP, don’t be disingenuous. The tone of your post was to creative a narrative that men particularly do this, that it’s a male issue.

Some have agreed, many haven’t, it’s logical when someone responds, to say why they disagree with you.

canthavethatonethen · 21/04/2025 17:29

Yes women do this too, but usually to other women.

They rarely do it in mixed company; whereas a man will often use this tactic to exert his domination over the women in a meeting / event / chat over coffee / whatever.

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:28

Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:27

“Am i unreasonable to find men who talk over women annoying?”
”Women do that too!”

Thanks tapthisscreen!

OP posts:
Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:27

“Am i unreasonable to find men who talk over women annoying?”
”Women do that too!”

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:27

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:25

Why is it relevant

you ask are you being unreasonable

did you just want yes or no answers?

if giving a no answer, the poster is likely to explain why

got it?

Saying "women do it too" is not a yes or no answer though is it.

How is saying "women do it too" relevant in any way to what I'm talking about?

And another poster has also pointed this out to you.

OP posts:
Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:25

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:24

The point is , why is it relevant?

If I wrote "a man is sexually harassing me at work".

And you came on and wrote "women sexually harass people too".

What has that got to do with anything?

We all know that some women in the world , sexually harass people. But I am talking about a particular incident that has happened to me. It's not relevant to what I'm saying.

So when I write "a man talks over me at work". You coming on and saying "women do that too" ....what does that have to do with what I'm saying?

Edited

Why is it relevant

you ask are you being unreasonable

did you just want yes or no answers?

if giving a no answer, the poster is likely to explain why

got it?

Kellybonita · 21/04/2025 17:24

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:22

Sorry to be clear, you think it is wrong to provide an alternative opinion on AIBU?

The point is , why is it relevant?

If I wrote "a man is sexually harassing me at work".

And you came on and wrote "women sexually harass people too".

What has that got to do with anything?

We all know that some women in the world , sexually harass people. But I am talking about a particular incident that has happened to me. It's not relevant to what I'm saying.

So when I write "a man talks over me at work". You coming on and saying "women do that too" ....what does that have to do with what I'm saying?

OP posts:
Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:24

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:23

@Tapthisscreen do you understand what AIBU stands for?

Yes

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:23

@Tapthisscreen do you understand what AIBU stands for?

Millyjanice · 21/04/2025 17:22

I know women like this too. My tactic is to get up and say I have to go now.
Maybe rude ?
Yes, perhaps in normal circumstances. However, they’re being rude in assuming I have nothing better to do than listen to them talking at me.

It boils down to people pleasing if you put up with it.

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:22

Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:22

Yes.

Sorry to be clear, you think it is wrong to provide an alternative opinion on AIBU?

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:22

Presumably these meetings were these men are dominating the discussions…. They are dominating both men and women attendees?

Tapthisscreen · 21/04/2025 17:22

Notsolongthistime · 21/04/2025 17:17

Is that so wrong? Posters offering a balanced view. Some of us saying we think more women than men do it in OUR experience

Yes.

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