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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

ByGraceAlone · 22/04/2025 13:51

The Catholic church desperately needs change. The chasm between what the average Joe at Sunday Mass believes and practices, and what the hierarchy decrees, is vast. And that cannot be sustainable for much longer?

There is a revival happening in the Catholic church and it's people seeking tradition, clarity and deep spirituality and mysticism.
The Latin masses and high masses are full of young people.

The Catholic church is also strong in Africa where the teaching is very traditional, conservative and mystical.

It seems to me that the people who say the Catholic church needs to adopt progressive views are mostly people who are either not Catholic or lapsed catholics i.e. people who hold those progressive views themselves but aren't going to be going to mass anyway.

Most of the people actually joining returning and committing to the church are not doing so looking for the church to have the current secular views.
They are looking for something the current culture doesn't offer.

There are some deluded posts on here that obviously know little about Catholicism. Even a 'liberal' pope is not going to change teaching on ordination of women, homosexuality, divorce or abortion.

If you want a church which has basically adopted secular progressive views join the CofE.
There you will find a dying institution.

softlyfallsthesnow · 22/04/2025 13:25

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 12:55

Just observing that the CofE has managed to be mired in scandal just as much as the Catholic church in Ireland in the 1970s-90s, and that having women clergy has not prevented that.

I don't think women clergy were ordained to prevent that, were they? More like recognising a half of humanity that had been excluded actually had much to offer. Exclusively male clergy doesn't make sense to me, especially as they were the ones at the heart of any scandals, most of which (that we know about, admittedly) were before women could be ordained.
There's pretty robust safeguarding in both denominations now (in the UK at least) which is positive.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 12:55

softlyfallsthesnow · 22/04/2025 12:10

Are you familiar with the workings of the CofE, and women priests, in practice? I'm wondering why you would say that so confidently.

Just observing that the CofE has managed to be mired in scandal just as much as the Catholic church in Ireland in the 1970s-90s, and that having women clergy has not prevented that.

ToWhitToWhoo · 22/04/2025 12:20

Simonjt · 21/04/2025 22:12

He is part of a party that dislikes people of colour and treats anything associated with non-white people as suspicious. I think its fairly obvious why a republican married to an Asian woman who is also a Hindu picked catholicism.

Wouldn't he then choose one of the white-dominated evangelical churches? Many Catholics in the USA are Hispanic; I don't think Catholicism as such is strictly associated with being white. I wonder if it might have been more a matter of Trump choosing a Catholic running mate so that Catholic voters might be less likely to be put off by the white-evangelical Republican contingent,

softlyfallsthesnow · 22/04/2025 12:10

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 11:31

Communion with the pre-consecrated is the norm in many places now (including weekday masses in parishes in Ireland) - theoretically you would indeed only need one priest, but there will always be more than that, some in religious communities.

I prefer keeping ordination for priests who are male, and celibate, and in a minority, and handing over the running and administration of the church to lay people. Which in some cases would just mean giving official recognition to what is already happening.

The CofE gives us a glimpse of what can happen if you retain clericalism with added women clerics. Not a great example.

Are you familiar with the workings of the CofE, and women priests, in practice? I'm wondering why you would say that so confidently.

zendeveloper · 22/04/2025 12:01

I can't perceive the late pope in a positive light at all given his stance on Ukraine, no matter what his other declarations of love and peace were. Where do traitors go in Catholicism, to hell or purgatory? I hope he's in a good company in any case.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 11:31

Abhannmor · 22/04/2025 10:46

But you need a priest for every mass then? Unless the host is to be 'pre consecrated '. In which case one priest would do for the whole world. Just ordain women. It's obvious they were priests in the early church - otherwise Paul wouldn't have been moaning about it.

Communion with the pre-consecrated is the norm in many places now (including weekday masses in parishes in Ireland) - theoretically you would indeed only need one priest, but there will always be more than that, some in religious communities.

I prefer keeping ordination for priests who are male, and celibate, and in a minority, and handing over the running and administration of the church to lay people. Which in some cases would just mean giving official recognition to what is already happening.

The CofE gives us a glimpse of what can happen if you retain clericalism with added women clerics. Not a great example.

Conversationkiller654 · 22/04/2025 11:07

Viviennemary · 22/04/2025 09:11

I agree. The C of E hasn't gained bigger congregations with their anything goes approach. A return to spirituality is needed and what if means to live a Christian life.

Why are the two mutually exclusive? An inclusive, spiritually generous, encouraging, kind, non-judgemental, ministry can be combined with inspiring liturgy, sacred music, profound contemplation and prayer.

Conversationkiller654 · 22/04/2025 10:59

TempestTost · 22/04/2025 02:34

Theology is important as well. Some of the divisive problems Francis had within the Catholic Church were due to the fact that often his statements seemed very muddy and contradictory, which won't in the end allow whatever he hoped to achieve with them to be regularized. He also walked back some reforms that Benedict had started, for example around the use of the traditional mass.
Benedict was considered to be a really phenomenal and precise theologian who could cut through difficult problems with a lot of insight. Why people see that as negative I am not sure.

But humans are muddy and contradictory!

We don’t need more fundamentalism in the world thank you. Doubt and struggle are good.

Abhannmor · 22/04/2025 10:46

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 09:23

I'm sure it would, but because I see clericalism as the core problem I would see having more priests as a disaster. It is when there are huge numbers of priests supporting each other above all that abuses happen.

Male priests doing the thing that only a priest can do - the consecration - lay people doing everything else, is what I'd like to see.

But you need a priest for every mass then? Unless the host is to be 'pre consecrated '. In which case one priest would do for the whole world. Just ordain women. It's obvious they were priests in the early church - otherwise Paul wouldn't have been moaning about it.

TwoSwannits · 22/04/2025 10:14

Why on earth is this in AIBU?

Over40Overdating · 22/04/2025 10:04

For me as an ex Catholic, Benedict’s theology, and that of most theologians, lacked humanity very often @TempestTost.

It’s very easy to be precise and dogmatic from a papal tower, wearing expensive hand made shoes, having been sequestered in clerical life since teenage years, and removed from the daily struggle of every day life that most people live.

How does theology, academic and linear, apply to the every day life of shades of grey that the majority of people live?

It sets a bar so high that most people fail and add guilt to whatever it is they struggle with. Catholic guilt is a thing, even for those of us who are no longer part of it. It is what kept people cowed and subservient for so long.

I find it as tone deaf as proclamations from the monarchy on sympathising with the struggles of every day life, which they’ve never experienced.

I can believe that whilst some of his statements may have been muddy for purists, Francis did relate to the struggles of living a ‘good’ life as defined by Catholic doctrine, in the modern world and tried to start a process of change.

NoisyLemonDog · 22/04/2025 09:38

Simonjt · 21/04/2025 22:12

He is part of a party that dislikes people of colour and treats anything associated with non-white people as suspicious. I think its fairly obvious why a republican married to an Asian woman who is also a Hindu picked catholicism.

Only about 40 percent of US Catholics are white. A third are Hispanic. The majority of Catholics live in the global South. It would be strange for Vance to pick RC to appear more 'white'. I'm not a fan of his politics but this seems like a bizarre accusation.

EstherGreenwood63 · 22/04/2025 09:24

I found his request for burial quite moving. Wants only 'Franciscus'. He was a good human. We need more like him. May he RIP.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 09:23

queenofthesuburbs · 22/04/2025 09:03

The majority of Catholics, even practising ones, ignore the Church's stance on contraception. The Pope himself welcomed gay people and allowed blessings in Church.
Divorce is, I agree, a thorny issue, particularly if there is one "innocent" party who is then unable to marry and receive the Eucharist. But I suppose they could just divorce and "live in sin", which again, most Catholics do before marriage anyway.

I think if priests could marry, then this would lead to more ordinations.

I'm sure it would, but because I see clericalism as the core problem I would see having more priests as a disaster. It is when there are huge numbers of priests supporting each other above all that abuses happen.

Male priests doing the thing that only a priest can do - the consecration - lay people doing everything else, is what I'd like to see.

Viviennemary · 22/04/2025 09:11

queenofthesuburbs · 22/04/2025 00:52

@Smallsalt
I think change is due, but I'm not sure it will necessarily lead to larger congregations .It hasn't worked in or for the Church of England.

In some ways a return to a more spiritual and mystic form of Catholicism might draw more people in/back to the Church.

I agree. The C of E hasn't gained bigger congregations with their anything goes approach. A return to spirituality is needed and what if means to live a Christian life.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 09:04

Abhannmor · 22/04/2025 08:24

If JD Vance wants to distance himself from brown people, in public perception, he has joined the wrong church. Whatever its other failings the RCC has never been segregated on racial lines. He might have been better advised to join one of the many fundamentalist Evangelical sects which might align more closely with his pretend hillbilly background.

oh yes

Even in rural Ireland, the proportion of brown people at any given Mass is higher than out in the street. I doubt that was Vance's motivation, but some of his political sponsors, knowing nothing about the Catholic church, could have seen it that way. I hope the Pope's work of re-setting the religious and social attitudes of those appointed as American bishops is continued by his successor. And that I live to see Dorothy Day canonised.

queenofthesuburbs · 22/04/2025 09:03

The majority of Catholics, even practising ones, ignore the Church's stance on contraception. The Pope himself welcomed gay people and allowed blessings in Church.
Divorce is, I agree, a thorny issue, particularly if there is one "innocent" party who is then unable to marry and receive the Eucharist. But I suppose they could just divorce and "live in sin", which again, most Catholics do before marriage anyway.

I think if priests could marry, then this would lead to more ordinations.

Ohthatsabitshit · 22/04/2025 08:37

Until women are priests and priests can marry I think the Catholic Church cannot be all that it could be. I know many Catholics and “lapsed” Catholics who feel the same. I liked Pope Francis but he did not go far enough to make the titanic shift that is needed. I grow weary of the endless pandering to the pace of change. The church is the people and people can change.

Abhannmor · 22/04/2025 08:24

If JD Vance wants to distance himself from brown people, in public perception, he has joined the wrong church. Whatever its other failings the RCC has never been segregated on racial lines. He might have been better advised to join one of the many fundamentalist Evangelical sects which might align more closely with his pretend hillbilly background.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 08:12

otoh, I know several churches where there are regular services with the liturgy of the word and communion, that can be and are led by women. I'm not convinced that ordaining women as priests is a good idea, but am very keen on opening all the church's activities, except eucharistic consecration, to properly trained members of the laity.

Bear in mind that a person doesn't have to be a priest to be Pope. At the moment they do have to be male, but that could change, without bringing in women priests.

It's clericalism that is the worst problem.

Smallsalt · 22/04/2025 08:07

I doubt it.
@queenofthesuburbs Until it's attitudes to women, gay people , divorced people, contraception etc have joined the 21st century, people will stay away.
The days of cowed brainwashed people being lectured and bullied by clergy who events have shown are no godlier than anyone else are long gone.
It doesn't need mysticism it needs realism and relevance to peoples lives

Abhannmor · 22/04/2025 07:46

TheTigerWhoCameToBrunch · 21/04/2025 12:13

I’m a Catholic and this Pope was far too woke for me. Unfortunately I think the next choice will be even woker.

But not woke enough to support women priests. Or married clergy. Our local Parish Priest has to say mass at three churches. That's not sustainable as well as being inequitable.

DeanElderberry · 22/04/2025 07:18

AgnesX · 22/04/2025 06:57

It's not obvious to me.

If you're American can you spell it out please.

I'm not American but I'm reading at as suggestion that Vance was distancing himself from his wife's religion and hoping that racists would therefore not think of him as brown by association or something.

AgnesX · 22/04/2025 06:57

Simonjt · 21/04/2025 22:12

He is part of a party that dislikes people of colour and treats anything associated with non-white people as suspicious. I think its fairly obvious why a republican married to an Asian woman who is also a Hindu picked catholicism.

It's not obvious to me.

If you're American can you spell it out please.

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