Child maintenance

I’m not surprised the extras have stopped, you seem to be taking the p out of him. I’m usually on the mother’s side regarding maintenance , but charging him to cook your child’s dinner is breathtakingly cheeky.

I could understand if dad couldn’t pick child up from school on his day and you had to pick him up or pay for afterschool club, charging him for your work you missed. But charging him for your child’s dinner is insane.

he obviously can see you’re taking advantage of him and doesn’t want to do that anymore

No. Cms is a flat rate. If they’re told they have to pay £200 a month - that’s all they legally have to pay. If your ex is decent, he can choose to pay extra for uniform, extra curricular, pocket money etc. But considering you have a private agreement, if you took it to Cms - you’ll likely lose the trust in him and he may refuse to pay any extra (and legally he would be in the right).

I would also note that Cms is brutal, self employed people like my ex can get away with not paying a penny. They can also put their children and step children on the claim to pay less. They can also claim travel costs if they travel to see their children. It’s not a lot of money dependant on wage anyway, 12% of income to us main parents putting in most of our salary to cover our children’s costs

He doesn't need to give you the extras. That doesn't mean he shouldn't. It just means that he's not legally required to. I think he's been pretty generous paying £100 more a month than he's required to. His wages have probably gone up in the last 3 years in line with minimum wage. However, so has the cost of living. You're suggesting that the new baby and partner are the issue but it could just be that he can't afford to do it. I know we have had to make changes because are bills have skyrocketed. Maybe you need to look at your expenditure and what curs you xan make. I certainly can't afford for my kidscto do lots of clubs. I've also cut out-of season fruits and we only have takeout twice a month.

Jesus, you want to invoice him for absolutely everything, and kick off when he says no.

Again seriously cheeky. What were you making your child at home that cost £10? Your kid isn’t a cash card. It’s probably time to thread more carefully

Is this really about your son missing out or is it about him having another child?

If he reneges on his promise then go to CMS but you are already shooting yourself in the foot with your growing list of extras.

You wanting his gf to also contribute financially is ridiculous.

If you go to CMS you may not get more than the 250, but it will be fixed and you will be able to plan finances accordingly. You won't get anything over and above that though.

If you're basing your decision on your, unreasonable imo, request for petrol money being denied, I think it would be pretty unwise at this point.

You won’t get any extras at all with the CMS. It’s based on what he earns, and that’s it; not what you think you need.

And his partner’s wage is absolutely irrelevant; she doesn’t contribute towards your child.

Yep I answered that ages ago, as have many others. Some of your extras like petrol are cheeky so maybe they are just sick of that. CMS won’t avoid extras being stopped, it will basically guarantee it. I think there’s a really reasonable chance you’d end up worse off financially going to CMS, so I’d wait and see what happens first

The cms won’t tell him to pay extras though … if you can have a guess at his pay you can put it in the online calculator to check

So why do you think £350 is less than what he should be paying now if he’s in the same job?

So OP was £250 what the calculator said he should pay 3 years ago?

Is he still in the same job?

He's on a relatively low wage if you calculated it at 250 when you split.

If he's already on a low wage with a baby on the way then £40 a month plus the other £100 in extras is huge.

Ultimately you need to choose whether you'll be better off going to CMS and getting a fixed amount per month, or keeping things as is and hoping he can still pay the extras.

Apologies fair would be a better word for what I was trying to say not generous.

my point is it sounds like he pays maintenance, additional costs clubs, phone etc. I’m not sure why op is asking for more at this point & cms unlikely to give it, especially if he can evidence over paid in the past.

But £10 a week? Are you really claiming it takes £80 of petrol a month to get your kid to clubs?

(80 since you pay half)

I would try not to worry until the time actually comes.

If he starts paying less then go through CMS but they will take into account that he’s got a second child.

OP said they used the calculator to work out what he should pay originally which was only 3 years ago and he is in the same job, so it’s not going to be vastly out.

Absolutely not. Your ex’s new girlfriend has no finance responsibility to your child.

It’s not a race to the bottom.

there are always people who come on to these threads whose ex pay nothing and their advice to women is be grateful for anything - I get nothing. You are greedy if you want more than whatever you get because I get nothing.

We have no idea if £350 a month is generous because we have no idea what this man earns.