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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to make complaint to police?

134 replies

Sunshineandpool · 21/04/2025 00:28

I really feel the police acted inappropriately and am thinking of making a complaint.

A friend of my DD's (they are both 16 and both autistic) has been going through a difficult time with his mental health. Both families are close and he is always welcome at ours. However, myself and his mum are mindfull of my daughter feeling 'responsible' for him or having too much put on her so I've been making sure to check in with her and be available myself if he is struggling.

Recently he sadly took an overdose but when his mum phoned an ambulance he left the house so she had to call the police to keep him safe until an ambulance could come. The poor lad was highly distressed and told the police he wanted to go to his best friend's (my dd). The police phoned my DD and told her they were bringing her friend over to her. I was out and came home to her in a huge panic! The police were aware the boy had taken an overdose and that my DD was only 16 and autistic. How can they think it is appropriate to put the responsibility of this on to my daughter?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunshineandpool · 21/04/2025 00:57

Menobaby79 · 21/04/2025 00:38

How could this have happened? He is under 18 and so is your daughter. He has parent/s at home.
They can't surely leave him in the care of a lone autistic 16 year old after he's done that?
I would definitely complain. Your poor DD I imagine she would have been in bits.

I know! My DD was in full meltdown. I totally understand the lad in his distress wanting to come here and if I'd been home it would have been OK and I would have got him to hospital. But why didn't they at least ask to speak to an adult!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunshineandpool · 21/04/2025 00:55

TheFoz · 21/04/2025 00:36

You want to make a complaint about the police trying to keep a young lad calm and protected in what was a difficult situation? Seriously?? Bringing him to your daughter may have been misguided but they certainly did nothing wrong. Please do not look to punish people for doing their jobs in maybe a slightly different way that what you would like. Their job is difficult enough without members of the public making shitty complaints.

Sometines you can’t do right for doing wrong.

He had taken an overdose and needed to go to hospital! Sending him to be looked after by an autistic child is not keeping him safe!! Causing an autistic child to have a meltdown is also not sage for her!

OP posts:
justanotherchangeofname · 21/04/2025 00:48

At 16, they should have been taking him home to the person with parental responsibility.

Saying that I wouldn't personally complain but the most that will happen is the superiors will check the body worn and ask the officers what happened, if it's deemed to have been in appropriate they'll just get words of advice. (If the scenario is fully how you described when looked at)

KrisAkabusi · 21/04/2025 00:43

Are the posters above making assumptions, because my reading of it, you don't say that they were going to leave him with her and then drpart. My impression is that they were trying to keep him.calm until the ambulance arrived. In which case I think that might have been helpful for him.

If they were just going to dump him, obviously that's wrong.

FairlyTired · 21/04/2025 00:43

Menobaby79 · 21/04/2025 00:38

How could this have happened? He is under 18 and so is your daughter. He has parent/s at home.
They can't surely leave him in the care of a lone autistic 16 year old after he's done that?
I would definitely complain. Your poor DD I imagine she would have been in bits.

She didn't say they left him there, presumably they took him to wait with friend as support whilst waiting for the ambulance. I highly doubt they dropped him off and left.

FairlyTired · 21/04/2025 00:41

I would assume their primary concern was the friend refusing medical treatment and his health based on that. If they spoke to DD on the phone and she was willing to see him then at 16 they're technically adults in some senses. At 15 it would have been a different situation.
I would speak to them about how it was handled and but not necessary a complaint.
The alternative to driving him where he wanted to go would presumably have been him leaving on foot and delayed medical support.

murasaki · 21/04/2025 00:39

They should have checked that a responsible adult was there, not leaving him with a 16 year old, autistic or not. They fucked up. I'd have a word.

Menobaby79 · 21/04/2025 00:38

How could this have happened? He is under 18 and so is your daughter. He has parent/s at home.
They can't surely leave him in the care of a lone autistic 16 year old after he's done that?
I would definitely complain. Your poor DD I imagine she would have been in bits.

TheFoz · 21/04/2025 00:36

You want to make a complaint about the police trying to keep a young lad calm and protected in what was a difficult situation? Seriously?? Bringing him to your daughter may have been misguided but they certainly did nothing wrong. Please do not look to punish people for doing their jobs in maybe a slightly different way that what you would like. Their job is difficult enough without members of the public making shitty complaints.

Sometines you can’t do right for doing wrong.