To ask how you deal with your partner’s crushes?

By accepting that I am not a rich celebrity with access to a chef, personal trainer, plastic surgeon and a team of stylists etc whose sole job it is to make me look good?

Honestly I think you need therapy to work though your own insecurities. Beating yourself up for not having different DNA and impossible standards is not normal.

On the other hand, your husband is a class A wanker for continuing to comment about his crushes when he knows it upsets you. Perhaps he does it in purpose to keep you in line.

My DP tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and he's lucky to have me. Bullshit, of course, I'm perfectly average looking and currently resemble a raccoon thanks to babies and sleepless nights, but the point is he has enough emotional intelligence to prioritise making me feel good and secure.

Your husband is being very disrespectful.

I have been subjected to this kind of behaviour in the past and it is crushing.

You could be polite and tell him that you find it disrespectful, or you could be honest and tell him that he is a low status male and would stand no chance with the dishy Doctor Amati, so he should shut up about her.

My husband and I both have celebrity crushes that we may comment on from time to time. Nothing at all serious, on occasion he’s mimicked one of mine in a playful way. It’s pure fantasy based on superficial qualities, no real feelings involved. It doesn’t diminish how I know he feels about me.

But it’s never more than a passing comment if they pop up on the TV. He’s not seeking them out or watching endless videos, if he droned on in great detail I might start to think differently.

Your DH knows it makes you feel bad about yourself so he should just keep his thoughts to himself. He’s being inconsiderate, he doesn’t have to vocalise his thoughts.

Do you have any celebrity crushes of your own or is it not something you particularly consider?

My husbands is Maya Jama. He says it quite often to wind me up as I’m told I look a bit like she does (when I was 29 years younger). It annoyed me at first but I play him at his own game. Told him if he ever gets the chance he has a hall pass but if I meet Vin Diesel then he’s mine and I’m off! He never found that particularly funny and now I don’t hear much about Maya 🤣

Me and my husband find it funny when we ‘appreciate’ folks on tv. But we are quite secure in our feelings and relationship. Does your DH ever compliment you op? Why do you feel insecure about your DH’s comments? Why do you feel not ‘good enough’?

Me and my partner know each others crushes, his is Jennifer Lawrence - she is stunning and likeable so I’m sure lots of men find her appealing.

In answer to your question it doesn’t bother me in the slightest because there’s not a chance she would look at him twice (just as Jason mamoa would have zero interest in me) and im secure in the knowledge that my partner loves me, i know my worth and i value his - being in a loving relationship should feel secure.

perhaps some counselling to help you build your self esteem might help - im sure your partner means it when he says he loves you and finds you attractive but you need to love yourself too.

Tell him how awful it makes you feel, OP.
He should immediately apologise if he's a good man.
Also, he should never do it again.

The issue is he tells you when you've said you wish he wouldn't. That's not ok.

It's normal to find celebrities attractive and I have a vague sense of the ones my husband finds particularly attractive

But he does not go on about how sexy they are, I mean what kind of idiot does that to his wife!

I wouldn't feel insecure if he did, I'd just find it really immature and rude

I have a huge crush on Jason Momoa. You know what my husband thinks about it?......absolutely nothing, because I dont go on about it in front of him because I'm not a complete dick head.

Its fine to notice other people being attractive when you are with someone- we dont become blind just because we are in a relationship.

What is not fine is to wang on about it in front of your partner. Thats a dick move

Because I feel secure in my self & I have the same crushes but I don’t think any different of my husband..having a crush or finding another person attractive is normal

Doesn’t bother me at all….

though my hubby doesn’t have crushes really

but even if he did it wouldn’t bother me. 🤷‍♀️

dont know why. Because I guess it’s normal behaviour? And I am confident though in who I am. Which helps I think.

Thanks. How do you not feel insecure about it though.
Why should you be forced to accept it when it makes you unhappy.
He'll continue with this as long as you put up with it. You don't like it, that's a good enough reason for him to stop.
Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your days feeling unhappy with yourself.
Don't put up with it.

People need to keep their crushes to themselves !

We would just never talk about it with each other. Hugely disrespectful. I’m sure he does fancy a famous person from time to time but I have absolutely no clue who!

I've no idea, it's never something he's ever mentioned.

My husband obviously finds other women attractive, it would be odd if he didn’t & we discuss our ‘famous’ crush. I have several so shouldn’t he? They’re not even worth thinking about x

He sounds about 19 years old and pathetic. Have a word with him.

My husband doesn't carry on like this bit if he did he would be the one with the problem not me, I would think it was creepy more than anything

Tell him you don’t need to hear about this. He can keep it in his head. Some couples discuss who they find attractive, others don’t. Tell him it makes you feel bad and you’d rather not know.

I have no idea who his crush is.

He shouldn't say it at all. Thinking it, fine. Saying it, not fine.