To think I can hide a pregnancy until 20 weeks

It depends what you weight is like now, what your clothing is like now, what your Stomach muscles are like, how often you see your colleagues.

ive spotted a colleague was pregnant very early, not because she had a bump at all, but because i spotted she was back wearing her maternity trousers one day.

another colleague was concealing a pregnancy and a male member of the team was flabbergasted when i said i already knew when she announced eventually and asked me how i possibly knew. She had an entirely new work wardrobe.

We no linger have communal break areas and more recently, i spotted a woman was pregnant for the first time at 7.5 months.

Wirh my first i could have hidden it, no visible bump until I was 24 weeks but with my second my stomach muscles were obviously not up to the job and was clearly pregnant at 14 weeks.

I have 22 months between child 1 and 2.

Agree with this.

A family member tried to do what you did. Work suspected so didn't give it her, instead made her redundant and she had no recourse because she hadn't said anything about being pregnant so her work could deny all knowledge.

With my first I definitely could have hidden it to 22 wks. I did conceal my second around a few groups of people until around about then, but I was so much bigger, it was winter so coats helped, and wouldn't have got away with it with people I was working with all day I don't think. That said, nobody was or should be so rude as to directly ask, although know some are!

I think see how long you can get away with it op, and do your best to get your new position nailed down before the cat is out of the bag. Congratulations!

You won’t know how you will look at 20 weeks until much nearer the time

Your employer can’t (in theory) discriminate against you because you are pregnant, so they can’t rescind the offer of a permanent role on this basis.

The issue is that if your employer correctly guesses that you are pregnant and takes action on that guess then there’s nothing you can do - you can’t raise a grievance of pregnancy discrimination when you haven’t actually officially told them you are pregnant. Whereas, in my experience, a lot of employers are quite careful not to do anything discriminatory once they find out a women is pregnant

Also, is it going to be obvious why you waited so long to tell them and is that going to lead to bad feelings with your employer?

It’s probably person dependant and how soon you show but I did it. They were doing a round of redundancies when I was pregnant and I thought it safer if they didn’t know. I hid it until 22 weeks when I got the letter to say I was not being made redundant. I was very slim but luckily had a tiny bump. I just didn’t wear anything tight or figure hugging. Get some floaty dresses and hope for a bump that doesn’t show until later in the pregnancy

Play it by ear. Sadly some pregnancies end in the first few weeks anyway, and if yours is successful, you just don’t know how it’ll go. You may start to feel too sick to hide it, you may balloon (I looked full term by 20 wks with my second), or you may have complications that mean you feel you need to tell them.

Just wait and see.

I tried to but everyone knew. Reason was because I had a loss previously quite late and I just didn’t feel like sharing it. By around 18 weeks it was very obvious. I’m sure if you wear loose clothing you could prob get away with it. Who is to say you just haven’t gained weight ? No one said anything to me but when I said it everyone said they had guessed weeks ago.

Depends on how you carry the baby and as you mention being slim, then it might be more noticeable.

To be honest most people are polite and wouldn't mention it to your face, but be aware they might be speculating behind your back.
There was someone at my workplace who I was definitely wondering about who didn't want to say til 20 weeks. It was getting fairly obvious and I was so glad when another colleague mentioned it and then said about it being the worse kept secret as everyone knew and it was very obvious she had a bump.

This is actually a reason why you SHOULD tell them.

If they suspect you're pregnant but you haven't disclosed, then they decide not to promote/keep you, you have no evidence it's because of your pregnancy and they can deny all knowledge.

Pregnancy is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010. If they treat you unfairly or differently because you are pregnant, that is discrimination, and they should know that. You should still get your job.

I was 7 months before I had to tell people as it wasn’t obvious until then. I told some friends at over 20 weeks and they hadn’t realised either. I was size 8/10 at the time, just didn’t show much at all.

I did this with my first. It was winter time though which did help as I could wear lots of layers of clothes and a big coat. I was amazed I got away with it so long but people are often not as observant as you might think.

Don't underestimate the strategy of concealing your bump by standing behind things or holding things in front of it. E.g. stay sitting behind your desk when your manager comes in for a chat, have a small cushion which to sit on in meetings and hold it in front of you when standing up. I remember reading about a soap opera character who concealed her whole pregnancy on screen by dong things like this. They’d only film her standing behind a wall or car or holding bags of shopping out in front of her, etc.

It depends on how prominent your bump is. Everyone at work guessed I was pregnant before I'd even had my first scan I was bloody huge 😅

It depends. I was thin so had a very noticeable bump I couldn't put down to bloating, but my friend managed to hide it quite successfully with loose clothing, large coats and well placed shawls (though not everyone is a shawl person!).

I hope it all goes well for you.

I didn't tell work until 24 weeks with number 2 I am sure some people guessed but very few people will ask directly.....

My first I didn’t look pregnant until around twenty weeks. Second was 15/16 weeks . My third someone realised at 11 weeks!!

Depends how sick you are!

Girl I work with thought she'd hidden her first pregnancy, but everyone had guessed by the time are went public about 25 weeks.

It really depends, I was huge at 20 weeks and couldn't hide it from any one. Not to mention the HG and PGP. You might get lucky but factoring in that things might happen which may make it impossible to hide would be a good idea.

With number 3 I didn't say until 34 weeks. It was a part-time position that I knew i wouldn't be returning to and didn't need any adjustments. I viewed it the same as handing in my notice.
I was a size ten and never showed with any of my pregnancies so knew it would be easy. Years earlier I married at thirty weeks in a fitted gown. You cannot see any bump. My DM and Dsis were the same. At 20 weeks my DIL couldn't have hidden it.

I mean a twisted ankle would keep you out for the office for a few weeks

No-one but my DH knew I was pregnant with DC3 until 20 weeks (for a variety of reaons). DC1 & DC2 who were teenagers didn't realise either.

I wore floaty blouses & jackets to work already so it wasn't any different.

I was working full time in an office & throwing up about 10 times a day for 8 months & still managed to hide it.

Yeah, with my youngest multiple coworkers caught me running to the ladies' room to throw up pretty early on. There was really no keeping it a secret after that.

I’ve managed to hide it well past that with each pregnancy. I only told my boss at 28 weeks and 24 weeks for the 2nd and 3rd and they were genuinely surprised. It depends on if you can wear loose clothes or not. I was definitely showing before then too and am very slim.

Nice

I was slim for a long time with my second. I think it just depends on you, your body shape and the actual pregnancy.