Would you pay back £11?

Did she drive, pay for drinks or pay for anything on the evening? Not sure I would be that worried about £11. Not because I am well off but because I couldn't be bothered.

Sorry I didn’t mean to drip feed. When we were booking the event, I had said I wouldn’t be able to go as my car would be in the garage that day and she said “don’t worry, I’ll drive us”. She lives about a 10 - 15 min walk from me so I walked to and from hers and she drove.

I’m wondering if she’s thinking she shouldn’t pay because she drove us to the event? It was about an hour away from where we both live. In which case was I the cheeky one for not just saying “I’ll get the tickets as you drove”?

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

I already did that and she didn’t respond! I even messaged her again about something unrelated in the hope that she’d see the previous message and remember, but she replied to that and not the one with my bank details.

I feel silly chasing it (and, honestly a bit embarrassed) and I’m just hoping she suddenly realises. It’s not earth shattering but it’s the difference between me saying yes and no when the kids ask for an ice cream or something when we’re out and about.

No I paid the £7 parking and we both drank soft drinks as it wasn’t really that type of event. It was in London so soft drinks are pricier than usual but we wouldn’t have been drinking anyway.

I’m wondering if she’s thinking she shouldn’t pay because she drove us to the event? It was about an hour away from where we both live. In which case was I the cheeky one for not just saying “I’ll get the tickets as you drove”?

I’m wondering if she’s thinking she shouldn’t pay because she drove us to the event? It was about an hour away from where we both live. In which case was I the cheeky one for not just saying “I’ll get the tickets as you drove”?

Just message her? She might have forgotten.

She paid the £7 parking and was drinking soft drinks as she was driving you

i wouldn’t be chasing the £11. What would you have done without her? Expensive taxi?

I wasn’t having a go at all, I’m just wondering if I am the one who is being unreasonable here, hence posting in AIBU.

I can’t remember who the PP was who asked how much drinks and parking came to, but it was around the £10 - £12 mark in total. Parking was £7 and I can’t remember what drinks she got but they were soft drinks.

As I said, it isn’t something I’m losing sleep over, I’m just wondering whether or not most people would think to pay back. My social circle and I always pay people back instantly when they buy things on my behalf, but we’re all from very different backgrounds to this friend who has never had to think about money. I know MN generally has people from backgrounds similar to this friend, so I was just wondering what the norm is. The “middle class world” is still very new to me.

Disagree. Any time I've driven to events I've always been treated to drinks because of the above reasons.
So in my opinion op paying for drinks cancels out the hardship of driving.
The OP paying for tickets and parking cancels out fuel and wear-n-tear costs of the car.
So in my opinion they are even!
But I understand why OP was panicking when she thought she was getting £11 back and it never came through.

If the event was an hour away - say 40 - 50 miles, then that's an 80 - 100 mile round trip. Assuming a total of 90 miles in a car that does 45 to the gallon (4.55 litres), where I live in the North west, that would have cost £1.40 x 4.55 x 2 (both ways) = £12.74. I doubt your non-close friend is thinking in those terms but it's worth remembering that an expense such as petrol, which can often seem invisible if the car doesn't need filling up, can be expensive. Add wear and tear on top and I think I wouldn't be chasing for the petrol. Could she have had second thoughts in terms of realising that in a way, she has already paid her fair share?

All those things you mention though are nothing to do with the money side of things, separate issue. She shouldn’t have offered to drive if it’s that much of a strain for her (which I don’t actually think it was, seeing as she was clearly happy too!)