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Original poster

Husbands phone on silent

115 replies

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 21:44

As the title says basically. His phone is always on silent. Every God damn day. Can never get hold of him and it pisses me off so much.

He just leaves it laying about on. In his pocket, on the settee, in the baby bag, on the fireplace always on silent. Nobody can get hold of him ever. They ring me or text me. He could be out in the garden for a few hours and dosent check when he comes back in.

It's not password protected and he leaves it in plain sight so there is no issue with trust etc it just pisses me off. I can ever get hold of him. He could be at work and just never comes back to me in a reasonable time in an emergency.

Can anyone relate

OP posts:
Sunsweetsandandicecream · 20/04/2025 23:12

comedycentral · 20/04/2025 23:07

I'm the same, but I was born in the 80s so spent many years without phone reliance. We didn't use a landline for most of my childhood, just used a phone box if we needed something. I hate notifications, I only turn on if the kids are out of the house so they can reach me or school.

I was born in the 80s too, but never knew anybody without a landline. You used to need a home landline number for most services.

TheatreTraveller · 20/04/2025 23:11

My phone has been on silent 24/7 for at least 22yrs!

comedycentral · 20/04/2025 23:08

Just to add, depending on the phone, you can set up notifications to always be notified about calls from certain people-maybe look into that

comedycentral · 20/04/2025 23:07

I'm the same, but I was born in the 80s so spent many years without phone reliance. We didn't use a landline for most of my childhood, just used a phone box if we needed something. I hate notifications, I only turn on if the kids are out of the house so they can reach me or school.

Hastentoadd · 20/04/2025 23:04

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:58

Yeah i think you can do the 'do not disturb' thing but you have to enable that which no doubt he will forget to do 🥴 think I'm just fighting an endless battle.

I just know if something bad was to happen and I didn't contact him first he would feel so sad

Show quote history

tough, he is a parent, he needs to be contactable, it can’t all be on you

Most people would love to have the luxury of putting their phone on silent every day but unfortunately that isn’t reality for a number of reasons

naemates · 20/04/2025 23:01

My phone is set to only ring for DH, I can’t remember the step by step, but it was straightforward to do

Sunsweetsandandicecream · 20/04/2025 22:59

AhBiscuits · 20/04/2025 21:58

My phone hasn't been off silent since about 2013. It annoys my husband but I don't care.

If I miss a call from dh, he comes through Alexa or Google.😂

My phones always on silent, unless dcs are at school! I hate when people contact me when I've just put the kids to bed as well.... noooo!!

Original poster
Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:58

Hastentoadd · 20/04/2025 22:51

Very annoying, is there a way to put everyone else on silent excluding you, I think there might be depending on the type of phone you have

Show quote history

Yeah i think you can do the 'do not disturb' thing but you have to enable that which no doubt he will forget to do 🥴 think I'm just fighting an endless battle.

I just know if something bad was to happen and I didn't contact him first he would feel so sad

OP posts:
Returnofthemark · 20/04/2025 22:57

My phone is always silent, for everything. Has been since my first mobile back in 1998!

I like to choose when I check it, not have it constantly beep for things. I also don't have a smartwatch for the same reason.

I do concede there are times I should be more contactable for my husband and for my son's pre school. I need to work on this!

I do put it on loud for when I (rarely) am waiting for a call from the doctor.

Cynic17 · 20/04/2025 22:54

I can relate.... to your husband. My phone is always on silent, as I don't want to be at people's beck and call. I don't think my husband has had cause to phone me in over 20 years - he very occasionally sends me a message. Unless someone has a job where they are actually "on call", I don't understand why anyone bothers turning on the sound.

Hastentoadd · 20/04/2025 22:51

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:06

It's not so much the calls. Its just any form of contact. He wanted a smart watch so he can see anything on his wrist whilst he's at work. I bought him one for his birthday end of last year. The same watch that has been sat under the telly for about a month

Yes the parenting thing bugs me so much. I just know he would be completely out of service if I desperately needed him in an emergency. We have two young children in nursery.

My daughter was rushed from thr GP to the hospital a few month back with pneumonia and i had to ring my friend first to get hold of him because I knew he wouldn't pick up. She works with him.

Some times I just think should I just delete him number cause what's point 🤣

Show quote history

Very annoying, is there a way to put everyone else on silent excluding you, I think there might be depending on the type of phone you have

Tbrh · 20/04/2025 22:45

Change it to the setting where if you ring it twice in a row it rings

Notashamed13 · 20/04/2025 22:40

Also at a car boot today someone had a load of old BT Phone Cards for sale.... my 9 year olds face when I explained what they were! 😂off topic I know but we managed back
In the day without mobile phones. Lol

Notashamed13 · 20/04/2025 22:37

I wish my partner was like yours.....he is constantly doom scrolling and it winds me up something chronic..... I'm team DH (also a "silent" phoner that has come to the conclusion that SM is evil lol)

SummaLuvin · 20/04/2025 22:18

for future reference if you both have iPhones in the same 'family ' network then you can activate the Find My iPhone tone on your partners phone in an emergency. It's noisy, but it works. DH once did it when he thought I had overslept as I didn't text him in the morning - I was awake but very distracted as I dropped my makeup brush in my tea.

JHound · 20/04/2025 22:17

I relate with your husband.

My phone is always on silent too.

beAsensible1 · 20/04/2025 22:14

I think if it an emergency it’s fine to just call his work number if you don’t get him on mobile. A lot of people are awol when at work on phones.

some people are technophobes and it’s really hard to get them to change. You have to have some expectations for emergencies or a time of day to check in

TheeNotoriousPIG · 20/04/2025 22:08

I have my phone on silent when I'm at home. I like to be able to just relax and not have to be in touch with other people at all times.

I try to remember to put it back in noisy mode when I'm at work... but still have to turn off the sound if I'm messaging someone, because the constant noise for every key is really irritating! Also, the size of phones is pretty ridiculous and pockets aren't usually built to accommodate them.

Original poster
Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:06

Brandyb · 20/04/2025 22:01

Couldn't he set it so your calls get through, even if others don't? This would annoy me massively. It's about parenting. Feels like he's avoiding being an equal partner. It's not just a question of being online generally.

It's not so much the calls. Its just any form of contact. He wanted a smart watch so he can see anything on his wrist whilst he's at work. I bought him one for his birthday end of last year. The same watch that has been sat under the telly for about a month

Yes the parenting thing bugs me so much. I just know he would be completely out of service if I desperately needed him in an emergency. We have two young children in nursery.

My daughter was rushed from thr GP to the hospital a few month back with pneumonia and i had to ring my friend first to get hold of him because I knew he wouldn't pick up. She works with him.

Some times I just think should I just delete him number cause what's point 🤣

OP posts:
SummaLuvin · 20/04/2025 22:04

NoraLuka · 20/04/2025 21:56

Don’t most people have their phones on silent now? I can’t think of anyone who turns the sound on unless they’re expecting a call from the hospital or similar where they use withheld numbers.

my thoughts too, my sister actually sent me a TikTok earlier today laughing at how jarring it is when people actually have their phone on loud - and especially those clicky typing sounds!!!

Brandyb · 20/04/2025 22:01

Couldn't he set it so your calls get through, even if others don't? This would annoy me massively. It's about parenting. Feels like he's avoiding being an equal partner. It's not just a question of being online generally.

Original poster
Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:01

NoraLuka · 20/04/2025 21:56

Don’t most people have their phones on silent now? I can’t think of anyone who turns the sound on unless they’re expecting a call from the hospital or similar where they use withheld numbers.

My phone is on silent or vibrate during my working hours only. Oh and when I'm in bed. Other than that it's on loud. Not always on me but on loud somewhere downstairs

OP posts:
Original poster
Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 21:59

Gundogday · 20/04/2025 21:51

My initial thought is, good for him. He’s not addicted to it, although checking in once in a while would be a good thing.

if he’s at work, could you ring a work number and ask for him? If he’s in the garden, could you walk out to him?

He dosent do social media or anything like that. And that's great but I just wish he would check it from time to time. I often hear my phone if I'm in thr kitchen and will finish what I'm doing to answer it. He could go all day. Yeah I've rang him at work a couple times but I know some work places get funny.

Every day I get calls and texts for him. Its a running joke in the family

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 20/04/2025 21:58

My phone hasn't been off silent since about 2013. It annoys my husband but I don't care.

NoraLuka · 20/04/2025 21:56

Don’t most people have their phones on silent now? I can’t think of anyone who turns the sound on unless they’re expecting a call from the hospital or similar where they use withheld numbers.