Husband unhappy about doing anything

This is my question as well, having known lots of photographers over the years

It's telling that all OP's friends think she's BU, presumably they know the details we don't

He is fully funding her yet to turn a profit business and she has massively reduced her contribution to the household which he is also fully funding. That is not unsupportive.
In addition the OP is talking about her ‘business’ in a way that suggests an alarming lack of planning and making delusional comparisons with Amazon and Facebook. I would be concerned and frustrated as her partner too.

Your odds at becoming a successful photographer in this economy are dismal.

This.

It's a classic hobby job that's never going to make any money.

My sympathy is 100% with DH on this one. I'm sure if the OP got a paying weekend job DH would be only too happy to spend time with the kids while she brought in some money. But engaging in a hobby, dressing it up as a job while he has to subsidise losses would stick in my throat a bit too.

Normally I’d agree, but in this case it’s not a business. It’s freelance photography. It’s a market saturated with other hobby photographers just like the OP that would love to make a few pounds from it. And in the current economic climate, with the other spouse making enough to sustain the household plus a cleaner etc, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to be unhappy about it.

Out of interest OP , I work in music -why aren’t you turning a profit - photography is not a business that has huge amounts of upfront and ongoing costs once you have the relevant equipment . Are you actually doing commissioned jobs ( photoshoots, weddings, occasion photography etc ) or just going out taking pictures and hoping for sales? I’m a bit baffled if you are out so much why you aren’t making money - not being dismissive by the way , as a lot of women on here don’t like it if you are actually doing something fun and interesting and think you should be out there working in Tescos or cleaning toilets for it to be a ‘real job’ , however I am curious why you aren’t making money .

Do you realise how derogatory you're being continually calling OP's fledging business a "hobby". I too run a small business that isn't quite in profit at the moment and I can assure you it very much is a business, not a 'hobby'.

Thankfully, I have a supportive husband who recognises my business as a job.

I’m assuming the pair of you discussed the business plan projected turnover and projected time to profit so none of this is a surprise to him and he was fully onboard? Do you have external backers or is he funding your startup? If he is funding this, with no idea of what the actual business plan is, it is affecting your family finances and your time together I can see why he would be frustrated. If on the other hand he knew exactly what he was signing up for and family finances are not impacted and he is now back tracking, that’s a very different scenario

The slack being the 12 hours of domestic stuff he’s now having to cover to accommodate his wife’s hobby while not getting the equivalent to himself.

I’m really not convinced everyone would be this supportive if OP was working and supporting the whole family and had to finish early to accommodate her partners hobby 2-3 times a week.

What slack? OP is still doing the majority. DH just has to occasionally parent his own children at the weekend.

OP has supported him with his career, now it’s his turn.

I did read it, and it’s nothing to do with what’s happening here.

I’m sure I’ll get jumped on for this as well, but as OP doesn’t work at the moment (as she doesn’t bring in an income) and her kids are in school, plus they have a cleaner, I’d say all he should be doing when he gets home is childcare. Everything else should easily be covered in the 30 hours a week she currently has to herself.

Yes, his attitude isn’t great but honestly I don’t think OP’s is either. If you want to start a business and change the status quo then the decent thing to do is discuss it first, not decide that you’re doing X and expect the other partner to just lump it.

I honestly don’t think everyone would be as supportive if it was a SAHD going off to do a hobby business and leaving his wife to pick up the slack.

Your getting some slack on here, however the reality is, even if you went out to work full time
externally earning a good salary, your husband would still struggle to adjust. Once they are accustomed to doing less, it’s hard to transition

I worked part time for 8 years before going full time 2 years ago. I had done pretty much everything in the home and I tried to ensure it transitioned as close to 50:50 as possible. I’d say it’s still at least 70:30. Our relationship has come to breaking point and still teeters on the edge at times. It’s a hard road reversing someone back to being an adult who can run a home after they’ve got use to not doing it

you are not using the DH for childcare. He is their parent!! It's not childcare, it's parenting. You don't get days off from it. You have a cleaner so presumably he just needs to make food for himself and his children.

If you went back to a FT job then he would also need to look after his own kids. He doesn't get time off.

Your DH is a lazy twat, Who doesn’t want your business to succeed.
If he valued you, he would step up willingly
Being a SAHM Is hard work and invaluable contribution to the household imo

Absolutely. The attitude of the DH here is awful, and I'd think the same if the sexes were reversed. If they were both working full-time, would he still absolve himself from housework and parenting because he earns more?? That's not ok, it's an outdated sexist viewpoint.

Did you read the thread on MN the other day, similar situation kind of, one parent refused to parent or do housework on her annual leave. That was a woman and I sure thought she was awful too.

It looks like it's time to get a real job and earn some money.

Your odds at becoming a successful photographer in this economy are dismal. I know professionals who had their own studios and big portfolios that are looking for work. Unless you're a nepo baby, they seem to be getting hired.

Do you have a business plan?

@faerietalesHe has his 12hrs - in fact he has all the hours he is not actually as his job because he wants to do NO chores and NO childcare. In what world do people actually get to do that? In a world where people just want to be nasty to the OP.

But he is moaning about having to do ANYTHING. Did you not read OP?

You said it should be split 50% when at home, but she has said she still does most of it. Which means he is doing less than you think he should be.

So why are you criticising OP?

Until it turns a profit, it’s a hobby.

I run my own business and it was very much a hobby for a good 6-12 months while I built a customer base.

^This.

Also, if she hadn't been a SAHM mum, they'd have been paying for childcare. So actually, OP has supported her husband's career. The posts on here are fucking unhinged. Saying OP didn't want to work? That's an assumption. Being a SAHM IS work. Jesus Christ, no wonder women feel terrible about their choices, as even other women judge them. SAHMs are vilified.

She's trying to set up a business. If she'd got a minimum wage job, would that not matter either, because the husband is the higher earner? There will always be a higher earner. Just because you're the breadwinner, it does not absolve you of every single fucking chore or raising your kids.

So again, where’s his 12 hours a week to do whatever he wants?

He does not want to do anything childcare and domestic labour because he’s a lazy arse.

If she went back to being a SAHM and doing ALL domestic labour then he would be fine. It’s not her lack of income he has an issue with. It’s her expectation that he is actually a father and husband. She is still doing lion’s share of domestic labour. Why do you think a man earning income means he does not have to contribute domestically?

‘Faffing about with a hobby’ How rude. She’s building a business.

honestly some women really aren’t here to support other women.

He doesn’t want to do ANY chores? So why is it perfectly okay for him to leave everything to her? It isn’t him doing 12hrs on his own, it is them both sharing childcare and chores at the weekends.
why are people saying he shouldn’t have to do it? Just sounds nasty and contrary. Him working five days a week does not mean he does nothing towards general day to day living!

50% of what needs doing when he is at home from work. And they should both get equal time out to do their own thing - so if OP gets 12 hours to work on her business, he should get the same to do whatever he wants as well.