Husband unhappy about doing anything

Well the same could be said of his business—he makes enough money if the wifework etc…is done for subsistence wages (ie room and board). He does not make enough money to fully pay for all that she does at a market rate. If he did she would get a wage and ould spend it on her business.

As another poster pointed out, she's paid half the cost of the mortgage, bills, Council Tax, household expenditure, holidays, children's expenses and the cleaner, on top of that she is paid the whole of her training course, the whole of the mysterious equipment she's accumulated, and the whole of her personal expenditure.

It isn't realistic.

One evening and part of the weekend is fair for a hobby business not making a profit, presumably you have school hours too.

If you've chosen a business that requires lots of evening and weekend work, without getting him on board first, that was not well planned

I'm not sure it's realistic to expect the sole earner to finish work early 2-3 times a week to support their partners hobby.

Or she could also get paid employment to subsidise her business plans and split the extra childcare / household costs. If her husband were paying for ‘wife work’ there would be no renegotiation of terms of employment once a contract was agreed. which may not work to her advantage. You can’t carry wife benefits into a domestic employee employment contract.

"But clearly all MN seems to car about is money"

Not true. Whenever a sahm posts about how much wifework etc it always seems to come up that both partners should have equal downtime

This does not seem to be the case here ( or at least it has not been clarified)

So did you discuss your plans or did you unilaterally decide without a conversation?

I also find your wording odd - I mean does a house really need looking after for 12 hours? Childcare yes but what physically needs doing on a Saturday? I don’t just mean for him but both of you, especially when you have a cleaner.

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel Instinctively I agree - it's not a lot to ask from him. But to play Devil's Advocate, he may feel that they are ships passing in the night and also might not be clear on what she is doing it for. A hobby is meant to bring gratification and meaning, at least, maybe exercise too. And a business is a business. What if this is neither one thing nor the other? This will be resolvable, but probably needs a bit of communication work - worth doing up front to be on the same page, before getting too busy with urgent business needs.

@Cyb3rg4l is giving excellent advice. OP, if you want the business to grow, you need to think about what platforms you'll use - and will you employ people, will it be a franchise? If it's all about the brand and service then those can't be improvised. I'm not in business, but dabbled when very young and very quickly learned that I was under-capitalised with no idea of what to do after proof-of-concept, no exit strategy. Ideally you would have your exit strategy planned from the start! When costing your time for your own purposes, you need to cost in sick pay, pension etc. so you need to be making quite a lot in fees for it to make sense financially.

She literally said he needs to do an occasional Saturday OR a Sunday. She's not suggesting he works all week and then has no weekend off at all. How often do you hear on here about sharing the weekend. Hand wringing over DH golfing on a Saturday, so MN says as long as she gets Sunday to do what she wants. Well that's exactly what is happening here only instead of golf she is doing something that may turn a profit.

My "hobby" is 2 evenings a week and one weekend morning (sunday). Every 4 months it's also a whole Saturday. It makes no money, as I do it for the love of it and to pass that on to future generations. My DH is a police officer, can work anywhere from 40 hours to 60 hours (sometimes more) a week. You know what my husband does when I go do my hobby, he kisses me, says have a good time and then gets on with being a dad and husband.

I was a sahm when I started it, my kids were 4, 3 and 2yo when it began. I'm now 11 years down the line.

But clearly all MN seems to car about is money. The mere suggestion that the OPs husband may need to feed HIS kids and put them to bed or watch them at the weekend for one day is obviously blasphemy. Oh the horror, he might have to whip a hoover round and make a couple of sandwiches. I bet he spends these weekend days with his kids doom scrolling on his phone or playing Xbox anyway! I doubt he's spending it up to his elbows in chores, he literally just needs to ensure his kids are kept alive for 12 hours a week.

I’m all for women having financial independence - and have started businesses over the years where I have juggled home, children, paid employment and developing said businesses to a point where I could work solely for myself and employ others. Because as you say these things take time. This is not OP’s approach.

I am also at a loss to understand why she has not turned a profit; no start up costs little overhead and working 2/3 evenings a week and Sat/Sun where is the money going?? Is there ANY revenue at all? There is a lot glossed over in this post.

on a business level it is frustrating and disappointing to see a woman behaving so unprofessionally - she is not acknowledging the input of her primary investor, and there seems to be no agreement of investment terms, she is not able to account for her profit and loss, income and expenditure, break even point.

These are all fundamental to starting a business, knowing if and when it has become profitable and knowing when to walk away and accept it is a hobby you are passionate about rather than a business.

Being passionate is not enough. My advice would be to get some unpaid work experience in her chosen field to understand the difference between a business and a hobby, or maybe a business studies course to become financially literate. If her primary investor pulls his backing and she has to be financially independent or seek external funding this stuff most certainly will not fly.

Compromise.
Husband needs some regular down time every weekend.
Can you organise your children to be on play dates with a friend's family for half a day every second week?

You then have their friend over on the day that you are not working.
Grandparents might like to spend some more time with kids.
Can you simplify running the household?
Can you get the kids to do more chores for themselves?
Can you put up with a more untidy house for a couple more years?
Don't forget to spend time with DH. Would he enjoy going with you to your work every once in a while for variety and to see you more?
Set some deadlines for your business becoming profitable.
Brain storm with husband, and other achievers, how the business could become more profitable.

It doesn't. It's total nonsense.

You should both be happy to support each other with a weekend day off anyway.

Even if he works full time and earns well, if he lives in a house as opposed to a hotel, then he needs to be responsible for some household chores and be happy to do them to understand what it takes to live a nice life.

Even if he works full time and earns well, if he lives in a house as opposed to a 24/7 childcare facility, he needs to be responsible for some parenting duties and be happy to do them. If he agreed and planned to have children, what could be a more wonderful privilege than to help bring them up when not at work, sharing the sheer hard work as well as the blessings.

I do think, though, that you should have shared your ideas and agreed a plan to launch your business beforehand, not just suddenly thrust it on him and expect him to adjust immediately.
Not much of a sense of loving, enthusiastic team work coming from your posts OP. I hope he is willing to communicate in order for you both to come to a better understanding of each other.
Good luck with your business.

sounds like it would be the same if OP had a regular job that brought in an regular income

Easy to test. If the OP got a job while the kids were at school (LA?) and then did an "occasional" weekend job that brought in money and see how DH felt about that.

I suspect he'd be over the moon and would cheerfully clean the bathroom and take the kids swimming or whatever.

Put it another way, if the OP's DH quit work to become a loss making freelance photographer would we support him? He'd be (rightly) torn apart!

Amazon and Facebook were backed by venture capital.

For a personal business should ideally become profitable within 6 months, a year and a half tops. That is if you have no financing.

So get a job where the money will come in overnight and see if his attitude changes. I'm pretty sure it will.

Can he keep his career going if he has to be home early 3 nights a week? I couldn't....

When I was a sahp dh still pulled his weight on evenings and weekends. Now I work part time he is responsible for kids one evening and Saturdays.

Why should you support him and not receive any support back. ? Marriage is a partnership.

Of course she’s entitled to time off too, and so is the husband. That’s why it matters what the business is and how long it would take to make a profit.

If it’s a viable business that will bring a decent income fairly soon, I agree with OP and her husband will need to split the chores etc. because the OP will also be making a serious contribution to the household income. Or they could use the extra money to hire more help.

If it’s more of a hobby business that will generate some pocket money, the OP needs to do that in her spare time. It wouldn’t be fair to expect her husband to continue to work full time as the sole earner, then do 50% of all household tasks while OP spends weekends on her hobby business. When would his time off be then?

Are you a wedding photographer? Or similar?
You need your Dh to look after the kids for 12 hours, nigh on 2 x days, basically all weekend, why you go off and do something you like, that hadn't yet turned a profit. How on earth hasn't it turned a profit? Your costs are minimal, only your time, you give photos to client, they pay. Can't wait to see the expenses of how much you've paid over the years to set this all up. 🤔

I think he has every reason to be aggrieved, we need more details on timelines and costs: when you paid for the course, what this business is and why it hasn't turned a profit yet. If it's not making money it's not a viable business, it's a hobby.

How old are the kids? You say you studied a course a few years ago so I'm presuming the youngest is in school. I would be frustrated too if you've got all the free time during the week whilst kids are at school but then expecting the full time person to pick up more especially when you don't need the income as a family. I think it's different when people need the income then yes someone may get a job outside of typical working hours to bring in an extra income without having to pay for additional childcare.

I'm all for supporting careers but it has to be logical for the family too.

If it's photography based, you say you turned down work due to it being evenings and weekends, then how are you expecting to increase your business to become bigger - e.g. wedding or portrait photographers during the summer probably work most weekends taking photos (and then doing editing during the week) in order to bring in a strong income. Are you expecting your partner to then have the kids all weekend every weekend to be able to do this?

I really think it depends is what conversations you had and what you both agreed when you decided to do this course etc and what the shared plans are for this. And if you've not had this then that's what you need to do. Sit down and together work out how you envision family life to work together with both your careers.