Why do some women not like their husbands?

Maybe that’s the difference then. To you Easter is important. To many others, it’s just a long weekend.

That be abuse frequently starts when a woman falls pregnant is not mythology.

In my experience wealthy, busy families who love each other prioritise their limited time for their families. Eg I know many families that will not go to kids birthday parties / arrange playdates / see friends on weekends or certain parts of their holidays as that's their protected family time.

Anyone who's going on holidays multiple times a year without their spouse and kids are probably either can't afford a joint family holiday to the types of locations they can go with their friends (it's often the case in families with a lot of children for parents to go off seperately and kids only get 1 UK holiday). Or they don't really love their DP / family life any more and look for any opportunity to get out.

The trick here is that both parents should be given the same opportunity to holiday by themselves / with friends. And if that isn't happening it's a big problem.

You probably guessed that so do I . . . .

Back home, our church hosted an Easter family fun day and I was just baffled at my friends going together and not with their husbands. And it got me wondering on women who don’t want to spend time with their husbands.

To me, that sounds like something to entertain the dc for a while. So we wouldn't have gone together. Not because we don't love, indeed, and like each other, but because the dc were being entertained and that meant one of us could either
i) do something they needed to do for work
ii) crack on with some housework or admin or gardening or decorating or cooking etc etc
iii) maybe catch up on sleep
iv) actually do something relaxing - be that read a book or watch some sport on TV or have a bath or whatever.

Then, as "the other stuff" was done, we'd actually have time that evening to eat a nice family meal together, or, once the dc were in bed spend some quality time with each other, rather than time spent at a 'family fun day'.

It’s not that they don’t love their husbands it’s that they are comfortable spending time without them too. Personally I find it nauseating when women cannot do anything without their husband tagging along. If I invite my girl friends for a lunch on a Saturday, i don’t necessarily want their husbands to come.

A couple both working 9-5 weekdays with no kids have ample time to spend together.

I’m a single parent and I met up with a friend and her kids on Saturday, her husband didn’t come (I wouldn’t have minded if he did). Our kids wanted to see each other and it was one of the only days I was free this holiday. Not every weekend has to be about “family/couple time”. Many people work during the week and see their friends at the weekends, whether or not they have husbands and families.

This is my thinking.

It has been very common, over the years, for us to be taking different dc to different places.
I'll also add that sometimes one of us would take them out whilst the other is working (both being in jobs that don't end at 5pm on a Friday).
Sometimes one would take them out and the other would crack on with humdrum stuff that needed to be done at home.
There was a time when I would take the dc out on my own as dh was supporting his elderly parents in his Mum's final weeks.
There are just so many reasons why one parent might be out and about without the other parent.

I’ve been married to DH for 35 years. We are still very happy together. We don’t have kids though (not by choice).

It is not a known pheomena it's utter immature nonscence based on a perverse mythology.
Just because women on MN meet and marry absolute bellends then complain endlessly about it doesn't mean it's the norm.

I spend time with my friends, dh & I spend time with our mutual friends - and this tends to centre around having meals in each other's houses, going out for meals / drinks etc, going to parties, attending events - music/ theatre / cinema

I meet my friends for lunch or straight after work for early bird meal or wine etc. It's 99% of the time a Thursday or Friday evening.

If we're meeting other couples it's usually a Friday or Saturday night

I go away once a year with 1 group of girlfriends. We generally go for 3 nights to a European city.

As I said we have a wide & varied social circle.

We still spend the far greater proportion of our time together & we work in adjacent sectors so our professional lives overlap too.

I don't think the OP was saying that she has no friends or that she never sees anyone other than her husband.

I understand the point she was making was that she sees other people but her favourite or preferred person to spend her time with is her dh. And she noted that a lot of women she knows seem to be the opposite - would rather spend time with friends than their spouses. And it seems a lot of mn posters agree that they'd rather be with female friends than their partners.

But the question was why are women married to men that they don't like. That question is answered by saying that the men change.

Saying that some men change after marriage is not saying that women don't, obviously.

Although it is a known phenomena that men ramp up bad behaviour when women are "trapped" with children. Socially and financially, men are less restricted by having children.

I'm sorry, have I read that right - you wouldn't spend a weekend day out with your children and a friend? That's weird to me. I like and value family time, but I also value the women in my life and like taking our children out together. This seems completely normal, having a wider circle is not the same as "replacing" your husband. For example, I have one friend with whom I always do Christmas light trail, another with whom I always do good friday church morning. Our children get along and these are our little traditions. The women I know who have sisters with similar aged children also spend time with them on days out.

I don't see my friends as competitors to my husband, and don't see time with children as exclusively family time. But I also love my friends very much.

In what way did he change?

Thanks so much for your lovely comment, life is short, I am very aware of that & plans are in place but for many reasons I am unable to leave at present. You've obviously married well & have a reasonable & supportive husband which is amazing, however not everyone's life is like that & its not as simple as just divorcing. I wish it were.

Divorce him them. Christ. Life is top short for this kind of misery.

I'm sure someone has already said it but, why do some men not like their wives?

Agree with you OP. The amount of people who birch about their husband and can't think of anything worse than be with them.

Like why did you get married??? If you don't like him, dump him for someone else.

My husband is my best friend too and we are super happy together with our dog. Anyone who thinks that we are sad are just jealous cos they hate their spouses.

We are the lucky ones to have found our soul mates op. Ignore the hateful comments on here, the housewives who would rather be with their pals slagging their spouses are just wishing they had the same kind of relationship :)

This is a very odd post. I think the basic answer is people lead different lives to yours?
I’m not sure what other revelations you hoped to gain. And posting on Easter when some people might not have had a great day with their partner/family for a wide range of reasons to idly speculate why people are not in a perfect relationship like you is a little off in my view. I am genuinely happy that your life set up is good and works for you but no need to judge others/compare when everyone’s life circumstances are different.

You must know that some people show a different side to themselves after a few years, and some people get married hastily because they are scared of being alone or deceived in some way or ‘madly’ in love. How can you not know that? And there are many reasons why people stay in an unhappy marriage.

I’d be concerned if I knew someone who didn’t have any friends except their husband. In every marriage, one person will eventually be left alone.

I am envious of you OP & all the other happily married couples. I wish I felt that way about my H. The truth is I actually can't stand him, he sucks the joy out of everything & makes me feel like an incapable child so I'd rather do fun things without him. I'm lucky to have friends who are single parents etc to do 'family' things with. Truth be told we are completely different people & have absolutely no common interests.

Exactly, some time apart is good, then you can bring something new to the conversation