Why do some women not like their husbands?

Some couples just shouldn’t be together. We have friends who separated late last year after 4 years. They never spent the weekends with each other and he was clearly unhappy, drinking too much. She was off with her friends doing a particular hobby interest which expanded her circle excluding him. From that she met people who didn’t share interests that Hubby had, so more division away from the marriage. She didn’t want him around when her friends visited either.

it’s blinking sad to watch. Should never have happened

They can get quite irksome as time goes on. 😂

Ok , so you’re starting to sound quite daft !
Firstly, it’s great you & your husband & kids are a happy unit ..
Secondly, I don’t see the issue with friends wanting to hang out on a Sunday together with their kids ..
Obviously there is a problem if couples never want to spend time together..
You saying though , why did they get married in the first place , surely you have to know , some people get married & then they just grow apart 🤷🏻‍♀️.
I wouldn’t be jumping to conclusions & saying to myself, I can’t understand why so & so got married just cause I don’t see them with their husbands on a Sunday though !

I spend all my time with my husband. He’s my best friend and the best husband.

I have friends and family who pretty much only spend time with their other halves on holidays or events (weddings etc). Even evenings are spent in different rooms watching different programmes.

yes these people have been together for a long time so it clearly ‘works’ but it seems miserable to me. No nipping to a garden centre or a trip to the cinema, no walk around a beauty spot or even cuddled on sofa watching a film, just 2 weeks of holiday a year.

@Surferosa

Myself and my husband both work full time and every other family we know either has both parents working full time or close to it. Yet it's only here that I see this concept of "protected family time" and that families don't see anyone else outside their own nuclear families at a weekend. No one in real life seems to live this way.

There are people who live like this: it's the same subset of posters who are always going on about "my little family", who believe its rude and intrusive for people to be expected to socialise occasionally with work colleagues and who talk about friends representing "drama" which they would rather avoid and basically treat any friendly overture as highly suspicious. They will usually also self-describe as "introverts" (although they're not actually introverts, they are misanthropes who are just fundamentally uncomfortable with the idea of anyone being socially relaxed).

They are the modern day version of the parents of a friend I had as a teenager who spend all weekend at home in front of the TV with the curtains drawn, wouldn't let their daughter out of the house after 6pm, would never allow her to attend sleepovers or have guests over and wouldn't let her go on school trips because "we prefer to spend our free time as a family" or "we don't do that as a family".

She left home at 17 to live in a flat to do her A-levels because she found the setup unbearably stifling.

You are more or less begging your kids to run away from home if you behave like this.

1. Attraction is a purely emotional thing and cannot be controlled i.e. you don't choose who you are attracted too.
2. A good husband or at least the type of man most likely to be a good husband can be worked out logically, but falling in love is not done by logic, see 1. above.
3. Intuition is massively overrated and not all it is cracked up to be. People love to tell you when their intuition (i.e. guesswork) came off but never tell you when it failed, and it WILL have failed multiple times in the past.

The same reason some men don’t like their wives!

Well, we do lots of things together but Easter morning I spent at church with my children and he stayed home as he's Muslim. Why you would pretend to be "baffled" by not seeing someone with their partner is very strange to me.

Yup, completely agree.

I think some husbands are very demanding and so time spent with them can be quite draining, whereas your friends aren’t really expecting anything of you other than just being yourself.

Myself and my husband both work full time and every other family we know either has both parents working full time or close to it. Yet it's only here that I see this concept of "protected family time" and that families don't see anyone else outside their own nuclear families at a weekend. No one in real life seems to live this way.

There's 52 weekends and a 100 weekend days in a year. And this doesn't include evenings or holidays either. I find it quite sad that some parents won't allow their children to attend parties or play dates because it'll somehow interfere with family time despite the fact there is ample other weekends or time through the year children can spend with their family.

We're busy most weekends seeing other families or having play dates or going to kids parties. It was one of the most things I was looking forward to as a parent, the fun of getting together with other families as it was how I grew up. For me it's a win win situation. We get to know other parents, share our experiences with them and make bonds with other families and our children get the fun and memories of playing together and building friendships.

For who's benefit is it that children can't go to parties or playdates because they must every minute out of the 52 available weekends a year with their parents? It seems such an isolated way to live.

I must just have better ‘best friends’

That's why.

@Gymmum82 was obviously pointing out that most of us would consider our friends to be people we can relax with and - if ever needed - share our deepest worries, secrets, and thoughts to. Not sure why that calls for such a sarky comment ?

I love hanging out with my DH more than anyone else, he’s genuinely my best friend. That said I have other friends and sometimes DH and I fall into a pattern of talking about house stuff and kids and I want an actual break from that. We also have no childcare help so 99% of the time we’re off work, the kids are also with us. Therefore to get a break I hang with my mates.

Many women realise too late that they’re married to a degenerate and it’s not that easy to split, however, they minimise time spent with them and rightly so.

Be grateful you’re not in that situation and don’t get too smug about it because none of us know what tomorrow may bring. Also it’s a bit crappy making people who are potentially in unhappy relationships feel even worse on their bank holiday day off.

Yet, if you read through this thread, you will see loads of posters saying they are happily married (and have friends they like to spend time with). No-one has called us smug.

What the OP said is completely different.

But I don't think anyone on this thread has said that. The vast majority cetainly haven't.

The OP is "getting a hard time" because of her ridiculous assumption that choosing to spend part of a day without your husband, is because they "don't like their husband".
Everyone is pointing out to her that isn't the reason at all.

Yup lots of stuff I think back on and think why did I put up with that - resentment is there forever even if things have been worked through and have changed.

I agree you can't say you're happily married on MN without being called a 'smug married' or a liar.

Many of the perma-singles, and many of the divorcées can't STAND it when women say they're happily married, and they have a decent husband. OMG, it really gets under their skin. 😬

.

Just the right size to do motor ship[ engine room bilges then and clean out the starting air reservoirs'

Or overcompensating by saying you're happily married. Or lying.

I was once accused of looking at my husband through rose tinted glasses. Because I actually like him and he pulls his weight (they overlooked the comment about his bad habits).

You can’t be happily married on Mumsnet without being accused of being smug.

She's given up and painted herself (she's 3), or I'd send them over for a nominal fee.

Can he & DD come round mine & do railings?

Absolutely.

Mostly, I find it’s the husbands that don’t want to spend time with the family and the mums want to provide experiences and opportunities for their dc so find a friend to join them.