Why do some women not like their husbands?

Some people are couple people, which is great until one of them dies. Some people spread their love around between several people, which may mean they don't have that intimate day-to-day with one person, but they are much better at living alone. Regardless of how happy your marriage is, one of you will die and leave the other one desolate.

So your rationale is the following; Women marry men that are NEVER abusive. They then have children with said Non abusive partner/husband. Then partner/husband goes through some of kind of metamorphosis (not yet scientifically diagnosed in over 250 years of Psychoanalysis) these men then become violent and abusive thugs. Please attach the relevant scientific study of this male centric human behaviour from the lancet or other medical journals. If not, get a life stop gaslighting all men, it's embarrassing. It may be your unique experience it's certainly not common, the rabbit hole of MN is NOT the real world. #Learn

This makes no sense.

That’s not the opposite. That’s a completely different topic.

It is not mythology but reality that for women who experience intimate partner abuse, it frequently starts when she is pregnant, i.e trapped.

It’s why you had to try and “No True Scotsman” your comment.

It's actually the opposite. Men become closer to their wives/partners pre and post pregnancy.
The normal ones anyhow.

Wow

It tends to be the type of woman who has a hopelessly inflated opinion of their attractiveness (in the broadest sense, not just looks) to the opposite sex and in reality is really just hating their own inability to find someone better.

Eh? It's not a MN thing to think that abusive men show their abuse after a woman has children. Why would anyone make up something like that? Of course abusive men aren't the norm. The point isn't that abusive men are the norm, the point is that subsection of men who are abusive often hold back on their full abuse for years, exhausting considerably as time goes on and after children.

If I overheard my husband flirting with my sister (more likely than any other woman, given our family connection), I'd be furious with him but even more furious with her for letting him do it without telling me. I'd probably never forgive her.

If she told me, I might be upset with her at first but I would come round.

But you can run that risk, it's your life. And hers.

She can find out from some of the other women he flirts with!. They have less to lose than me.

A "healthy" social life is subjective.

I see my friends less than my sister sees hers. But she is incredibly sociable whereas I need more alone time to recharge - too much "peopleing" and I'm drained and exhausted and no use to anyone.

DH being around doesn't have the same effect, he's a very grounding presence for me, so naturally I spend more time with him than my friends, because I can use it as time to recharge as well as "socialising".

What works for one doesn't for another.

Not all couples are co-dependent and have a healthy social life.

Quite a lot of women marry men they don't really love because they want someone to father their kids and pay the bills.

The feelings mutual, I'm sure.

I’ve been married 12 years and love my husband, probably more than when we got married. I still very much enjoy time away from him because he gets on my pip and i like to see my friends. I also get on his nerves and he appreciates time away from me! We appreciate the time we have together because we’re not together constantly.

I've been with my husband for nearly 20yrs. We're bringing up 2 kids together. I love my husband and still love time with him.

Chance plays a big part in relationships - and life generally. One of my sons is a musician. He and his wife married when he was riding high. Not long after Covid happened. Things out of his hands meant he lost valuable contracts abroad. Now his earnings are sketchy; he can't support as he did. He has no other talent. His wife now sees him as a liability. Their marriage has collapsed. Very sad.

So in your view because they don’t always spend Sundays together, they are in unhappy marriages or don’t want to spend time with their husbands? Are you really that sheltered that you think because someone lives their life slightly differently to yours, that they don’t like their spouse? I meet up with a particular friend, plus my kids and her kids, approximately one weekend a month, sometimes on a Saturday or sometimes (shock horror) on a Sunday. Our husbands sometimes come but often don’t as they have other things on. I spend all week with my husband and most weekends, but not 24 hours a day - we have separate hobbies (as well as ones we both enjoy), and our kids have different hobbies too. To be honest I find couples who spend all their time together to be a little weird. My husband and I love each other and are ‘best friends’ as well I guess, but we aren’t clinging to each other like two little limpets on a rock - we enjoy time together AND apart and that is totally normal and healthy for a relationship. We’ve always been the same and have travelled the world together, lived and worked abroad and in the uk - been together 22 years, married 18.

We frequently spend half of Sunday apart as one son plays rugby (which I tend to take him to) and my husband takes the opportunity to spend quality one to one time with our other child. Then in the afternoon we might do something altogether as a family, or we might not. When I go out with a friend and her kids I’m not replacing my husband with that friend!

I think she’s a bit of both!

It would be her choice though. If she finds out some other way she'll feel like you were laughing at her behind her back and you'll lose her for definite.

She'd blame me and cut me out of her life rather than lose him!

You should tell her, because by keeping it from her you're letting her live a lie and just watching it happen.

She deserves the chance to find someone who loves her.

The post she was replying to was me. But thanks for explaining it to me.

She was responding to the post saying that, the poster couldn't confide in women she called her best friends.
I have to agree, if your "best friends" are people you can't confide in, then they really aren't good friends.

That's hardly contentious.

My Sister talks about her husband exactly like you. Her husband keeps trying it on with me - said he'd married the wrong sister!! If I told her she would be destroyed.