Why do some women not like their husbands?

OP I feel the same as you. My husband is my best friend and we really enjoy spending time with each other and our children. That doesn’t however mean we’re joined at the hip or have no other close friends like most other commenters seem to think on this thread. Certainly our relationship has mostly been the opposite of ‘joined at the hip’ over the years - coping with long distance, having our own interests and friendships, visiting family and friends without the other etc. But we do just really enjoy being in each other’s company and I feel very grateful for that.
I do read many comments on this forum where women seem to be in very unhappy relationships and I think that’s a great shame. I suspect the other comments on here are from women who have found themselves to be generally dissatisfied or unhappy in their relationships and therefore simply don’t want to spend time with their spouses. Again, that is a great shame.
OP, as one other commenter said ‘you do you’ I’m glad you’re in a happy relationship,
don’t be made to feel guilty about this!

Extremely touching, and sad. I am absurdly old; lived with or married 6 women. I stayed friends with all of them except one after we split. The exception was the one who cleaned me out big time financially - but I don't blame her, as my cock was always my compass. Now I live with my last partner, her husband and their little daughter - but as a lodger. We get on very well. A wise man once said life is queerer than we imagine or can imagine.

Why don't you ask them if they are your good friends? But, tbh, I think you are being lazy not to have worked it out as a Mumsnetter! Surely you have seen the threads from women whose husbands turned out to be arseholes? Or women who settled for someone 'nice' in order to have children?

@Muddlingalongsomehow I'm very sorry for your loss. Your relationship with your dh sounds like it was wonderful & not everyone gets to experience that. You must miss him hugely.

It's really sad though that it seems out of fashion to genuinely like your DH. Or still love him or find him attractive. I've had people get angry and upset or call me deluded because he hasn't been unfaithful and I still love him to bits.

I'm not deluded... He can be annoying etc. But actually going out with him to the pub is far more fun than going without him.

I'm all for the higher ideal of staying together but at least let some of us enjoy it!

“I know several couples who are perfectly happy. Haven’t spoken in years.”

The Dowager Countess of Grantham

Gosh. I'm older than most here. Recently widowed after 43 years together. I adored him. He cracked me up laughing. He was kind, gentle, quiet, practical, super intelligent, and really beautiful. I have loads of lovely women friends. But I used to hate being away from him for any length of time. We talked all the time, were never bored. Just far happiest when we were together. Of course we rowed and had niggles. But life without him is utterly crap, even though my kids are with me loads and are beyond wonderful. I can fill my time but it is nothing more than that. I was an independent person before him, and I can make a life that's better than some, but it's such a pale shadow of what I had. I am a far better person for having him in my life and he would say the same.

I think it sounds as if I was lucky.

@PickledElectricity he obviously doesn’t leave the wet towel on the bed, or his socks next to the laundry basket rather than inside it. He gets up early and helps with the kids. He is the first one to sacrifice his person time/hobbies/money etc for the greater good of the family, he takes the dog out without being asked atleast twice..and the bins…
she is one lucky fish!

What do you mean “nobody could find attractive”. Who determines loads of women are attractive but few men are?

Attraction is subjective not objective. There is no such this as being unattractive to everybody.

What you find unattractive is not true for all women.

Same! 30 years and 3 kids. Of course I love him but don’t feel the need to spend every waking minute together.

I think because you “signed up” to stay together?
It’s the concept of a higher ideal. I guess it’s why people fight wars even though they know they’ll get blown up.
I know it makes sense to say “I’m leaving”but marriage is richer poorer / better worse. It’s hard to go back on something you made vows to do, even though it might be for the best.

Because they're the type that nobody could find attractive. There are lots of attractive women and so few attractive men. And so few that anyone could be genuinely in love with. The majority of women must be marrying for other reasons. (And a lot of men seem to marry for regular sex and someone to do the housework).

Agreed, OP even mentions her friends in the first post, yet she's being accused of not having friends, not valuing the friendships and being told having a husban as a bff is wrong.

Female best friends can let you down too.

OP meant on big holidays but so called educated people pretending not to get it so they can be nasty.

I know but with societal pressure “not be picky” and also the biological clock, it’s not surprising some women settle in this manner.

I know lots of women who would never settle in this manner and for most it meant foregoing motherhood (myself included).

I've been married over 25 years. On the basis that if we ever start being like that we'll break up!

I personally don't get why people stay together if they dislike each other and to some extent don't have sex either. I just don't see the point.

We are very financially tied to each other so it would be tricky to divorce etc but I really don't understand why you would stay together.

When we were just friends my DH said it's better to be single than be miserable as a couple.

Both of these women were teenagers who were obsessed with finding a boyfriend. They both leapt at any lad who showed any interest, and then cried for weeks when it turned out he did not want to get married and have children young.

One chased after a lad who had been out with my friend, asked me out, then another friend when I said no. She actively went after him and then told me I was jealous when I said be careful, he seems fickle. She married him, he had numerous affairs, she's now a single parent to five children.

It wasn't me that said it originally, but I've seen it happen. Some women do just want that life and will turn a blind eye to red flags being waved right in their face.

So, OP, you'll never have a Saturday with you and your friend and her child, doing something you all particularly enjoy, because of some fixed and dare I say, judgemental, idea that you have in your head that you should only be enjoying a day out with your child, accompanied by their father? If you're actually deadly serious and not virtue signalling as many on here understandably suspect, you need to be aware that your narrow view of what is right and proper in a marriage is likely to bite you on the behind some time soon I fear.

For instance, with the mindset you describe, if real, you're going to feel seriously bewildered if your husband plans a day away from you when he could be spending it with you and the kids aren't you? And yet in a normal healthy marriage, this is a perfectly normal healthy plan to have sometimes. And you DO know that marriage does not require you to totally think with the same mind all the time I hope? So he could very well not be completely on the same page as you all the time.

Further, many parents work shifts and can't often plan these storybook days together with the kids. Hopefully they can sometimes but other days spent with friends and their children can not only be a great alternative but actually, equally fulfilling. Some friendships are a lot closer then just the type that meet for coffee.. or yoga.. or workplace banter.. or something you seem to be telling yourself (and mumsnet) is what female friendships should be all about

I mean, by all means, you do you.. but preferably without judging others for how they conduct their family life.. and also, bearing in mind that spending time with friends really doesn't mean people dislike their partners or 'prefer' their friends.

You need a broader view OP and I hope for your sake, this will come with time and maturity.

Why do you assume this means the woman does not find him attractive?

Oh two of your friends have done it.

Ok then.

But seriously I am sure women do do this.

But people often tell women not to be picky so what do people expect? Add in the biological clock. and Bob’s Your Uncle.

Actually, I've seen two of my friends do it. They wanted the "husband, house children" life, married the first semi interested guy they found and are currently miserable and constantly asking me whether they are expecting too much.

The number of attractive and interesting women you see with pretty dreary men.

How are men being gaslit?

Answer the question or Fuck off your self..see we can all be rude.

Where's your evidence for this, exactly? Andrew Tate?

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?