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Original poster

To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

89 replies

YourWiseNavyBeaker · 20/04/2025 18:10

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

OP posts:
Istgisforreal · 20/04/2025 18:27

Crankyaboutfood · 20/04/2025 18:26

i am currently traveling with a friend who has always been beautiful. we are early 60s now and she is still beautiful, but it is not the same. i ask a hostess if a table is available and they say no, need a reservation. she then says “let me ask” and goes in again expecting a different answer. it’s not working anymore and I have to say I find it really annoying.

That would annoy me too! She's too fond of herself, not an endearing trait

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/04/2025 18:27

Discrimination and judgment is alive and well. Of course the people who are good looking have better opportunities.
Similar to the reasons class, weight, race, height, all play a part in opportunities.

Istgisforreal · 20/04/2025 18:26

NineteenSeventyNine · 20/04/2025 18:25

I think good looks alone obviously help, but confidence and charisma get you further. Actual talent is relatively far down the list a lot of the time!

Agree, great personality is far more endearing than vacuous good looks alone. Might get you through the door but if that's all you've got then I'm sure the attraction dims pretty quickly.

user1492538376 · 20/04/2025 18:26

YourWiseNavyBeaker · 20/04/2025 18:10

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

No of course being good looking helps - research backs this up.

There are quite a lot of good looking - but not stunning - people around though. So I guess there is always competition if you look at the world like that.

Crankyaboutfood · 20/04/2025 18:26

i am currently traveling with a friend who has always been beautiful. we are early 60s now and she is still beautiful, but it is not the same. i ask a hostess if a table is available and they say no, need a reservation. she then says “let me ask” and goes in again expecting a different answer. it’s not working anymore and I have to say I find it really annoying.

NineteenSeventyNine · 20/04/2025 18:25

I think good looks alone obviously help, but confidence and charisma get you further. Actual talent is relatively far down the list a lot of the time!

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 18:24

SwanOfThoseThings · 20/04/2025 18:15

YANBU but it isn't really a revelation. It's well known that this kind of thing happens. I am on the other side of the 'average' fence and I'm fairly sure I missed opportunities in my younger days because of this. Thankfully, age is a great leveller and it's interesting to watch the 'pretty ones' coming to terms with being overlooked.

Sounding a bit spiteful and bitter there..

Crankyaboutfood · 20/04/2025 18:23

KimberleyClark · 20/04/2025 18:18

Good looks bias is definitely a thing in the workplace. It really ought to be included in unconscious bias training.

could not agree more

IReallyLoveItHere · 20/04/2025 18:22

It's Pretty Privilege.

Even babies show a preference for pretty people, we want them to like us so are nice to them.

The obviously if its a man in charge of decisions it can go bad quite quickly.

MidnightPatrol · 20/04/2025 18:22

Why do you think these situations have all been as a result of your looks?

Llamo · 20/04/2025 18:20

YANBU. Sex sells.

CillaDog · 20/04/2025 18:18

I’d say not given I’m exceptionally plain looking and overweight, but have never struggled to “get in the door” so to speak.

I do have drive, and have been told I’m warm and friendly, and make others feel at ease. I’ve only ever not got one job I applied for, and that was online without seeing anyone so I wasn’t rejected for how I look(and I know why I was rejected), I have a good career, I have a lovely partner and relationship. We’re comfortable in life without being millionaires.

I do think how you come across makes a huge difference, personality and your manner communicates so much. I’d also say things like how you’ve been bought up and the things you’ve had access to change it also.

KimberleyClark · 20/04/2025 18:18

Good looks bias is definitely a thing in the workplace. It really ought to be included in unconscious bias training.

SwanOfThoseThings · 20/04/2025 18:15

YANBU but it isn't really a revelation. It's well known that this kind of thing happens. I am on the other side of the 'average' fence and I'm fairly sure I missed opportunities in my younger days because of this. Thankfully, age is a great leveller and it's interesting to watch the 'pretty ones' coming to terms with being overlooked.