Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

89 replies

YourWiseNavyBeaker · 20/04/2025 18:10

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

OP posts:
ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 21/04/2025 06:31

@Overtheatlanticabsolutely agree with this. Just been having conversations re pretty privilege with my 14 year old DD, I’m not biased but she is very pretty just beginning to realise it and I’m really encouraging her to take all the opportunities educationally as she’s bright and looks will wear off pretty quickly.

Saphire123 · 21/04/2025 00:23

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 20:59

milleniumstar · 20/04/2025 20:31

I think pretty young people often turn into beautiful older people...and the average lookers when young, stay average....so age isn't really a great leveller.

Youth makes people look better, soft skin, "fat" in the right places, etc as we age our faces get thinner, longer, noses get bigger but generally someone who is actually good looking with a good bone structure will still have that.

See I don’t agree with that, young people all have that fat in their faces but they look like kids. I think people are far more beautiful when they lose that fat and you can see the bone structure, plus the fine lines, smile lines, crows feet all adding character and wisdom.

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 20:46

NineteenSeventyNine · 20/04/2025 20:40

Yes! Reminds me of the Samantha Brick days 😁

Show quote history

Strange! I don’t have the facility to search but I wonder it it’s identical!

NineteenSeventyNine · 20/04/2025 20:40

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 20:36

I feel I recognise this thread almost word for word from one that appeared a couple of weeks ago.

Yes! Reminds me of the Samantha Brick days 😁

Plmnki · 20/04/2025 20:37

Not sure what you want people to say? You sound a bit tedious and attention seeking TBH.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 20/04/2025 20:36

Of course. It’s well established

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 20:36

I feel I recognise this thread almost word for word from one that appeared a couple of weeks ago.

milleniumstar · 20/04/2025 20:32

I think the kids nowdays are all gym buffs and clean eating.... I do feel sorry for them.. At least I have the memories 😂

I was talking about this with my friend the other day, I'm convinced they are going to have major mid life crisis's as they have never let their hair down!

milleniumstar · 20/04/2025 20:31

I think pretty young people often turn into beautiful older people...and the average lookers when young, stay average....so age isn't really a great leveller.

Youth makes people look better, soft skin, "fat" in the right places, etc as we age our faces get thinner, longer, noses get bigger but generally someone who is actually good looking with a good bone structure will still have that.

Crazybaby123 · 20/04/2025 20:13

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 19:43

Ah okay that’s a bit better 😆

Show quote history

I think the kids nowdays are all gym buffs and clean eating.... I do feel sorry for them.. At least I have the memories 😂

ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary · 20/04/2025 20:00

Do your 'best opportunities' include the man always paying on the first date, your engagement ring costing three months' salary and your cohabiting partner paying all the bills and bringing masculine energy? Because you really write like another poster who keeps popping up

Original poster
YourWiseNavyBeaker · 20/04/2025 19:51

TheaBrandt1 · 20/04/2025 19:45

You’ve only just realised this?!? It’s been this way since the beginning of time!

Sure - but there’s a difference between knowing something and actually reflecting on how it’s shaped your own life. That’s the part I was talking about.

OP posts:
TheaBrandt1 · 20/04/2025 19:48

Try being in the company of a nearly 6 ft teen who is confident and looks like a 90s supermodel. Eye opening.

TheaBrandt1 · 20/04/2025 19:45

You’ve only just realised this?!? It’s been this way since the beginning of time!

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 19:43

Crazybaby123 · 20/04/2025 19:42

No, was just young people having fun... it was a lot of hedonistic fun. We didn't go for the old men, there were plenty of city boys and trust fund kids flashing the cash in the 90s and early 2000s...

Show quote history

Ah okay that’s a bit better 😆

Crazybaby123 · 20/04/2025 19:42

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 19:28

Sounds a bit creepy as I’m assuming they were older men?

Show quote history

No, was just young people having fun... it was a lot of hedonistic fun. We didn't go for the old men, there were plenty of city boys and trust fund kids flashing the cash in the 90s and early 2000s...

lemonandtea · 20/04/2025 19:36

I missed out on the pretty looks but I would say my humour has certainly opened doors for me.

carly2803 · 20/04/2025 19:35

of course it does

i know a lady who literally gets things handed to her on a plate as she uses her looks. Do not blame her either frankly

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 19:30

NovemberMorn · 20/04/2025 18:31

I think pretty young people often turn into beautiful older people...and the average lookers when young, stay average....so age isn't really a great leveller.

Looks count, not only in the workplace, but when it comes to dating and picking a partner.
Hopefully it's not the only thing that matters, who wants to be so shallow? but rightly or wrongly, looks will always open doors.

Show quote history

I thought the same when I read that.. when I think of all the beautiful women I’ve known, they were beautiful until they died unless they didn’t look after themselves (and don’t mean surgery)

QueefQueen80s · 20/04/2025 19:28

Crazybaby123 · 20/04/2025 18:57

I had a very attractive friend group when I was younger in my 20s. We would go out and end up getting invited to members clubs, get free drinks all night, get invited into the VIP areas, out in yachts for the day. Always got the jobs we went for. I must say now in our middle age that these things don't happen for us anymore. I actually wish I had taken more advantage and gone for full golddigger while i could.... as that ship has now sailed 😂

Sounds a bit creepy as I’m assuming they were older men?

Coronationchicken34 · 20/04/2025 19:24

For the record i don't think I'm unattractive. Just don't feel the need to make a thread on it.

Original poster
YourWiseNavyBeaker · 20/04/2025 19:21

MissAmbrosia · 20/04/2025 19:15

What kind of opportunities though? For most jobs you also need skills and experience. If you have them and you're attractive as well that might have helped, but it's naive to think you can get on just by being pretty.

I agree - looks alone won’t get you far if you don’t have the substance to back it up. My point was more about that initial access - being noticed, getting in the room, being given the benefit of the doubt early on. After that, it’s always about what else you bring. But I do think we’re kidding ourselves if we pretend looks don’t play any role in how some doors open.

OP posts:
MissAmbrosia · 20/04/2025 19:15

What kind of opportunities though? For most jobs you also need skills and experience. If you have them and you're attractive as well that might have helped, but it's naive to think you can get on just by being pretty.

donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove · 20/04/2025 19:07

I kind of get where @Coronationchicken34 is coming from. You've had opportunities and you have assumed it's because of your looks. That's seems quite conceited. I'm sure lots of beautiful people get on in life and don't think it must be because they look so amazing.