To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

I’ve been around many female bosses and they’re worse than the men sometimes, very “diet coke ad” and inappropriate around younger male employees. Women are very susceptible to a charming attractive man who is trying his hardest to get a job.

I'm not so sure that would usually be the case.

That's quite sad.

I'm kinda glad that I'm ugly, at least I know my achievements are real and not due to perceived attractiveness.

Yes, the bias in favour of good-looking people is a well-established fact - lots and lots of studies on this. We all have to play the cards we're dealt - don't feel bad about it.

Not an equal comparison though.. what about a female interviewer and a tall dark and handsome male candidate and a not so good looking one? I do think it’d be the same as the other way around, the good looking one would get it.

I'd say any good opportunities are good opportunities. Whether they come through luck, nepotism, good looks, hard work, being exceptionally talented in a specific field...

I wouldn't dwell on it too much and just use the opportunities you have as best you can.

I’ve heard of companies ( historically ) who would only consider ‘ good looking or interesting ‘ women to do a customer facing job, so nothing much surprises me tbh. I think it goes on a lot more than we think it does or should do!

I think it's very decent of you to acknowledge it, because usually it's women like me with a face like a bag of spanners who can see it going on, but pretty women are adamant it's not a thing. Perhaps they're usually hesitant to admit it happens because it could be judged as taking advantage, but man, if I was pretty I'd all up for any advantage my looks gave me!!

I can relate to this, except it’s not so much my looks as my gender. I work in a male dominated industry and get invited to things simply because I’m a woman. Sometimes it’s even explicitly stated, e.g. “we need more female representation at a client dinner, are you available?” I don’t care or mind, and why should I? Men don’t question why they’re invited somewhere, they just rock up and make the most of it.

Yes of course. This is a pretty well known and obvious thing.

It’s not just women who benefit from looks privilege, studies show taller men consistently out earn shorter men.

Beautiful when young is nearly always beautiful when old. People don’t suddenly become ugly because they age.

Pretty privilege is most certainly a thing. I’ve always thought I’m pretty average but I recall my sisters accusing me of benefiting from pretty privilege but frankly I also know how to communicate well with people. I smile and know that being open and interested in others go a long way. I’m well-educated and traditionally high achieving. But I don’t doubt my personality and maybe being physically standard helps.

I think men and women may look at this differently.
A male interviewer will see a stunning candidate and a plainer woman, if both are as qualified, I am betting the stunner will get the job.

If a female boss is in the chair, she will also take note of the woman's warmth and ability to relate, which will probably override the physical appearance.

Funnily enough, I know plenty of arrogant twits who are doing quite well. And it's certainly not down to their abilities.

There has to be some good personality for the looks to achieve anything and open doors. It does happen, but it doesn’t happen for the beautiful woman with a surly look on her face, who never smiles and has no manners. It’s not looks alone.

Not sure. I’ve been reasonably successful in my career in I’m average looking as far as I’m aware.

Totally agree. It's a myth that money doesn't make you happy and it's what's inside that counts. If Marilyn Monroe or Kim Kardashian were ugly no-one would be interested. Looks can bring great wealth with very little effort or personality. It's shallow and unfair but that's the way the world works.

Well yes it is a 'thing'. Don't diminish or downplay your achievements though and credit them too much to this, as you say it may open doors but it doesn't hand success to you on a plate. Sometimes it can hinder things too, one of my friends is an engineer, she is extremely clever and capable but because she is also absolutely stunning she gets so many hateful comments at work (mainly from women) and people often assume she's only where she is because she's slept her way up rather than because of her talent. If she was fat and ugly woman people wouldn't assume this.

Absolutely, as PPs have said it shouldn’t be so, but it is.

When I was talking to DS about an interview he was going to recently and explaining why aside from the technical side of discussion, the basics of looking smart, being friendly and engaging were important. I said to him that whether it is right or wrong, based on two identical candidates the person to be selected will be the one they ‘like’ the most, and appearance definitely come into that too.

Some are assuming that beautiful people are dim. More likely is they are just as competent as the plain candidate but their looks get them through the door. It is unfair.

I ended up in the City at a top firm. The only two of us who were not public school / Oxbridge / Harvard / Yale were me and one other girl. We both looked very similar to each other (slim /conventionally attractive /brunette). There were legions of lawyers as good or better than the two of us.

I know exactly what you mean. It's pretty grounding to realise you're experiencing something so cliched firsthand but unaware of it.

The OP literally states her good looks didn't keep her there, just opened the door.

Maybe it was your stunningly high self esteem that helped grease the wheels , OP?

Properly beautiful people are still so at 60+ and still get better treatment. Beauty changes with age of course, but it doesn’t fade if the person takes care of themselves. I bet that the PP who was hanging out on yachts in the 1990s is still a head-turner assuming she’s a similar size and looks after her hair and skin. Because the bare minerals are still there.

Yes, for average people it is. But for stunning people then 90% are in their favour.