To not want to help IL’s anymore?

I think much more than the house issue is FIL awful attitude.
That above all else is why OP should be walking away from them.

It’s a truism but you can’t cure stupid.

I hadn't even thought of that..neither did they!!! Which would have been less of a f you to the op I suppose

And if they had sold to OP at market price, as she was willing to pay, they would have had more to give to the wastrel brother (not that I'd recommend throwing good money after bad, but they don't sound too bright.)

YANBU OP

Perhaps they thought you were buying it as a married couple and keeping it in the family but you actually for some reason wanted to keep the purchase separate from your husband

Do you really like your house and its location? Because I’d think about moving, obviously I mean moving further away from pil and bil.

But the ops dh is also their son, who would be making money on the btl.

I can't blame them for offering the son a discount, but
A) you should have had the same discount as it benefits their family too
B) fil should have spoken to you first

Well now The Golden Child can wipe their arses.. Back away..

@happyeasterevwryone you both need to drop anchor here, now!! outlaws are taking the piss. they are still going to expect you to provide care even though they have treated you both like shit!!

His parents are using dregs.
Mute the lot of them.
Don't allow any of them across your door again and consider moving house as distance needs to be put between these awful people and your family.

You have my sympathy OP.
Toughen up majorly or they will use you till they die.

Oh dear, they’ve really shot themselves in the foot haven’t they!

No more help for them and don’t feel bad.

It’s good to remember that no one can “make” you feel anything. They are your feelings. Stay strong!

They showed you who they are and what they think of you. They prioritised and favoured their (other) son and didn't have the courtesy to even let you know.

Interesting that they now realise their son is as dysfunctional and self-serving as they are. But you and DH are now perfectly placed to say "Other son will help you, now he's so close" every time they ask for help.

In your shoes I'd actually mute them and stay out of touch for a few months then reassess how you feel when you are ready. You owe them nothing.

While this must be upsetting for you, their sons needs need to come first as he's in the middle of a crisis. I would do the same.
You found out from your husband, so while they didn't directly tell you they told him
You are well within your rights to not help them further

Love I feel for you but you should always have "known where you stand" in regards to the house.

If they have a child inconveniencing them & a spare property they intend to sell but don't need the money from it was the absolute best solution

You were 100% right though to not want to garden for him ?!? What the hell is that about. & Withdrawing yourself from unnecessary help

@happyeasterevwryone shocked there was a 50% reduction for one son but absolutely no reduction for the other son's family?? that itself would be enough for me to tell them to fuck off for the rest of their miserable lives! at what point in your negotiations did they inform you that bil had bought the house???

I understand how you feel as I have seen 2 friends deal with a similar issue.

One friend of mine had a mil that had been pushing boundaries for years. One day my friend heard herself being slated by mil. After that her husband told mil not
ot to call to the house or ring them again.
A few years later the son called over an odd time to see his parents.
Mil was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and my friend has said no to bringing her to appointments or providing care.

Another friend of mine has a golden sibling sister that was helped out a lot over the years including getting a large sum of money. My friend meanwhile was left dealing with several difficult situations on her own and given very little financial help.
She is living on a limited income at the moment.
Recently her elderly mother needed help for several weeks due to health issues and my friend moved into her mother's home for this.
It was a real eye opener for her as of course golden sibling did the bare minimum. The other siblings were better but most of the load was on her.

My friend also found some paperwork and her mother is far from poor despite complaining about the cost of living.
Her mother of course made a few promises that have yet to happen. My friend has decided that unless she gets what she wants in the next few months she will be changing jobs for more hours and money. She said I won't be treated like the family doormat any longer.

In your situation I would be just to busy to help out your pile and tell your husband to do the same. Let the golden boy deal with the issues as they come up as they will with adults parents in their 80s.

were you going to move into it or buy as an investment? it sucks, but if my child needed housing i would probably do the same.

I would just delete the txts.

It's their son. Parent/ child relationships are complex. You're their relative by marriage, not everything is transactional - it's not personal. Don't make life hard for your husband. It's a house - there was no discount. Buy another.

Just keep telling mil you are too busy to call round.
And repeat..
Or forward the texts to her ds...

Don't engage with it. I wouldn't bother.

Obviously you have said no to going round to see MIL to discuss BIL and his issues?

What a load of cheeky fuckers they are.