Awkward shopping trip with MIL

Also, does she happen to be feom the same country as you? Sometimes mums get a lot more involved in different communities, in ways that we can see as too much, interfering etc.

To me it just sounds like he thought another woman would be able to help you choose something to feel good about yourself, but was possibly not knowing how to broach the subject without you getting more paranoid about your stomach.
I wouldn't be bothered at all, I really don't see the problem
It sounds as if she was just tryiing to help you get your confidence back, and enjoy some time with your husband.
Take it positively rather than negatively.

Right! Now I can confidently go back & vote you are definitely not being unreasonable!! Jfc

Not sure what I find most revolting. The fact your MIL suggested sexy underwear for you to wear so you can bang her son, or the fact your husband discussed his sex life with his mother. Both make me cringe!

I would be having very strong words with your husband OP!!

If you want to explain what I've missed go for it. As far as I can see you said everybody sexually coerces their partners, and it's actually quite funny and prudish if somebody calls it out.

I'd book another shopping trip with her. Make sure we went to all the boring beige old lady underwear. Guess her size as at least 3 sizes bigger. Chat on as if this is totally normal. Ask her about her and her husbands/ partners sex life.

When she is horrified and says " that's none of your business" say, exactly, and now you know how I felt. Walk off.

I'd also.take your hubby shopping to Ann summers for toys for solo play. Tell the assistant he got his.mum to try and buy underwear to get you in the mood, all in the interest of sharing your private life with people it has nothing to do with.

Not petty, but he needs to know his actions have consequences...

Jesus I would be absolutely fuming!!! What a weird thing to do! If anything she should be more understanding of you than his ‘needs’. Men think with their dingalings most of the time, why is it just the woman who’s expected to dress up!! Annoyinggg. Tell MIL to do one nosy cow.

OP hasn't said that she never wants sex with him again. They do have sexual contact, but OP doesn't feel confident enough to have full sex. However, surely you'd agree that the best way to make OP feel comfortable enough to do this isn't by discussing it with his mates, his mum and his sister and getting his mum to take OP shopping for sex clothes and telling her that her son 'works really hard' and so 'deserves' sex.

What he has done could end their marriage, not repair it.

I'd call a meeting with all three and ask what other stuff was said behind my back. Ask if anyone else knew and invite them to the meeting. Stand and wait calmly for an answer and ask them how they would feel if you wentvand discussed with your family the intimate details of your bedroom life...

This would give me a huge ick. I don’t think I could come back from. Please don’t feel pressured to do anything that is not right for you. Your DH sounds like an arse.

You're uncomfortable about an area of your body, and she suggested you try to cover it up so you can be attractive? That's fucking nasty.

What kind of family are they fgs?

How old is MIL?
Jesus I'd go mental.
Plus all his friends know and none of them had to wait that long.
I suppose the neighbours are aware too.

Does he not realise that he's at the bottom of the list and this isn't going to get him anywhere, I feel so sad for you it's the last thing you need.

Does he have any plus sides to offer x

Oh my dear Lord! She even knows when her daughter is having it? Did you ask your brother-in-law how he feels about it his MIL knowing everything about his sex life? That would be IT for me. I would not be able to continue the relationship any longer. This woman sounds horrible.

My son is still little and although I'm hoping we will be very close when he is a grown up man, I never imagine discussing his sex life. This is not for a mother to interfere with or to know about it. And I would never discuss this with my MIL either, neither would my husband telling her. This is an intimate thing between partners, no matter what the situation is, you are not talking about it with your mother. Ewww.

Why do you think they haven't spoken to each other? There's no reason to assume that at all.

It doesn't matter if it's not normal in your own friendship group, it's a well known fact that for other women it can be very normal, it's not in any way uncommon, and you've said yourself you had one friend who lied to her husband that she couldn't have sex because she had a c-section, so that friend very much did not want to have sex, she should never have felt like she needed to lie anyway.

Would you explain to me exactly what you meant then if I misunderstood

I have several children of my own, with a close age gap, despite a complicated birth too. Spoiler alert - I didn’t go 7 months without sex.

This isn’t normal for any of my friendship group by their own admissions.

I had one friend who lied to her husband stating she was not able to have sex for a year because she had a c section. The penny dropped for her husband when I found out I was pregnant a year after having my first, and her eyes were burning holes into me. Why lie?

OPs husband is trying to convey his issue. She needs to have a conversation with him as to what she feels and he feels.

Id hate to be in this kind of marriage. They aren’t speaking to each other. If she isn’t interested in having sex again then she at least needs to tell him that. It’s naive to think when he’s confiding in his mum that there isn’t something else on offer.

A wonderful MIL would have told her son to be patient.

He's not showing that he wants to be intimate with her, he's showing that he doesn't care whether she wants to have sex or not, he wants to put his penis inside her and enough is enough so she should get back to it.

It's not sexy, it's not loving and it's not romantic.

One of the best ways to create a permanent dead bedroom is to push a woman into having sex before she's ready after having babies.

The problem is with you.
There are plenty of men who are happy to be patient, and who would never want to have sex before their partner was ready. They certainly wouldn't go crying to their mothers looking for her to intervene. I'd say the husband has a fairly big problem that he needs to work on himself.

Perhaps your have PPD and need to speak to your GP about getting some medical help.
There was a thread on here a while back where a man asked his partner to speak to the GP about similar and she sent her for counselling so she could learn to be more assertive saying no. I would hope her own GP would be similarly wise if she did attend and also express concern for her about her partner and MIL.

If you think it may be PPD then your post is awful, telling her she won't have to worry about her stomach when he's sharing his bed with someone else. It's also extremely worrying that neither the husband or MIL considered that or are concerned about that and the intervention was about getting her back having sex with her partner.

What the actual? Can’t believe I just read that! Your husband is a dickhead and his mother is the reason why.

If you want to wilfully misunderstand, go for it 👍🏽

It's more his fault than hers. She's a participant - he's the idiot who instigated this.

Oh its hilarious isn't it, sexual coercion

Ew that would give me the ick.
MIL shouldn't get involved and DH needs grow up.

OMG what's the matter with you? MIL is a prurient nightmare who is obsessed with the sex lives of her adult children.

She'd be better off taking her baby and leaving this disfunctional enmeshed family.

Are you the sister in law?