Awkward shopping trip with MIL

I don't think I'd ever be able to sleep with him again. What it says about his boundaries and immaturity, never mind their lack of respect for your autonomy, is awful.

Excellent post - I totally agree, particularly the part where you highlight (as I did in my previous post) that OP wrote "My body has changed and I feel uncomfortable with my stomach" which she has undoubtedly told her DH too and he has obviously passed this on to his DM, hence her mentioning it in the lingerie shop. 😱 It's OP who doesn't like her post-pregnancy stomach, not her DH.
What's really stupid is that, instead of involving his DM in this subterfuge (which I'd be livid about), he could have bought OP some lingerie he thought she might like and feel comfortable in (and he'd have probably got the right size too!).

They are completely batshit

Your MIL wanted to pick out lingerie for her son to fuck you in?

What the fuck is wrong with women?

Going against the grain here.

YANBU to be annoyed, but to me it sounds like your husband was being clumsy/desperate than anything sinister.

Talk to him! He is your husband and father of
your baby. You should be able to have a discussion about your sex life or lack of it.

I can remember a boyfriend - who had very nice taste - took me to a swanky lingerie store and bought me a set. When he went to pay there was another set on the counter - very different size and tiny. A tiny, tiny thong.
I asked him had he got the size wrong?
And he said… It’s for my mum. Just because she’s a mum doesn’t mean she can’t feel sexy.
She was 50.
Not dissing the demographic, I’m in it now, but it was weird.
Next time I saw her I couldn’t look her. Picturing Jean’s g-string under her mint green viscose shift dress and jacket wasn’t for me!

Your husband is too immature to have a conversation with you about your joint sex life & how you both feel.
BUT he's happy to involve his Mum & get her to take you lingerie shopping, like that will "solve" everything!

Yuck! That would give me the serious ick!

He has acted inappropriately & immaturely sharing details of your personal life with his mother. He's way out of line.

@Harriett9 I've voted YANBU because your DH shouldn't have been discussing this with his DM, much less her interfering like this (particularly when it was a ruddy set-up!). However, you wrote "My body has changed and I feel uncomfortable with my stomach" so why didn't you come up with this idea yourself? Wearing gorgeous lingerie that covers up the parts you feel uncomfortable about, but enables you to resume intimacy with your DH seems ideal to me. Unless, of course, you're not yet ready to resume your sex life for other reasons (exhaustion?) which is your absolute right too.

Whenever I read a MIL post on here I always try and imagine putting myself in the MIL’s shoes. I cannot imagine what goes through the head of a woman who behaves like this. If my son tried to get me to do his bidding to get his wife to be “sexier” for him after birthing his child I’d be fucking horrified and wondering where I went wrong. I hope your okay OP, that sounds like a really horrible shopping trip.

Honestly it would be divorce because I would never be able to think of him intimately in any way without thinking about his mother doing this.

I can't see how this is recoverable op, sorry.

Bloody hell this cant be real can it? If so what on earth is your MIL thinking, absolutely no business of her’s at all. Talk about overstepping massively. I would be furious.

His mother as his 'wingman'...

😳

@WessexPrincess ,quite.

Mentioning to his mum, if probed, that intimacy was missing. - not great.
Mentioning it unprobed - out of order.
Asking his mum to suggest you get sexy lingerie - YUK
His mum actually suggesting you get sexy underwear - Words fail me.

Yeah tell him it's the least sexy thing you have ever experienced and that it's a massive turn off and he'd better hope you can disassociate his mum from your head whenever you think of sexy lingerie or he'll be waiting a long time!

Every time I think I can't be surprised by the shitness of some men...

“He has been working hard and you two deserve some alone time”

THATS A HARD NO FROM ME DAWG.

🤮

Omg! Think my vagina would clamp shut forever.

Absolutely horrendous, OP. I think I'd find this quite hard to get over!

He told his MOTHER to take you lingerie shopping because you hadn’t had a shag since the baby?

And she agreed?

They’re a pair of utter weirdos and I doubt I’d ever want to shag him again.

That's not how I read it. I read it to mean if she feels insecure at her body she can cover it with this then they can start having sex again.

Still weird and a bit of lingerie won't suddenly get you in the mood. Even worse telling his mother about it.

That’s fucking hideous. I could just about take it from dh but having an older woman figure giving me lingerie advice VOMIT. The rudeness of it all

id be livid with your dh as this has all come from him. What an insensitive arsehole… honestly, I’d be furious.

No, that’s not what I did.
I understand that some people struggle with nuance and can’t actually have a conversation which isn’t simply black or white. But you’re an adult so by now, you should have recognised that you struggle to see the bigger picture have have a discussion with opposing viewpoints when both actually do have rights and wrongs, and you should just keep quiet rather than bulldoze through those conversations when you can’t understand them.

Rather than address the reason why you feel uncomfortable, he sent his mum to persuade you to get dressed up like some sex present?

Very werid and awkward. If you haven't been intimate with your partner for 7 months also sounds like there are problems that need sorting

He got his mummy to take you out to buy something so he could get his end away. Imagine how that conversation went.

Christ.