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M&S changing rooms

492 replies

SweetChilliGirl · 20/04/2025 10:43

Was I unreasonable to send this to M&S?

Good morning,

Having not shopped for lingerie with you for several years, due to your policy of allowing trans-identifying men into the women's changing rooms, can I now be assured that, in line with the judgement of the supreme court males will no longer be allowed to identify their way into your single sex changing rooms, thus preserving biological women's dignity and safety? I would very much like to be able to shop with you again.

I look forward to hearing from to to clarify this important matter.

Regards,

Sweetchilligirl

OP posts:
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6
JHound · 21/04/2025 22:24

Annascaul · 21/04/2025 22:19

What did you think women’s spaces are for biological women only actually meant? 🤯

Huh?

Annascaul · 21/04/2025 22:19

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:46

No I mean inclusive spaces as in trans men/women in the sex space that aligns with their gender identity (as opposed to just a unisex space which many accessible spaces are). I did not realise it prohibited that.

Edited

What did you think women’s spaces are for biological women only actually meant? 🤯

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:12

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 22:07

As I said.

The thing is, it has been recognised for a long time that female people who take testosterone may cause some other female people distress if they see the male cues the testosterone has created. There have been quite a few female people with transgender identities who have taken testosterone post on MN and have told us what they do instead. It is not new that these discussions have happened.

All those posters who read the threatening and intimidatory rhetoric about those female people entering the toilets are simply weaponising that group. Not surprisingly, those female people who are horrified that they are being used this way also point out that often they feel ignored by the trans community if they dare speak about their own feelings on who should be using female single sex spaces.

But posters still try to invoke those female people as a tactic to convince female people into accepting male people into the female single sex spaces. And they seem to think that they are righteous in doing so.

I genuinely think that poster was asking a question not weaponising Jake Graf.

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:11

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 22:08

Yes you are if you think that people with the opposite 'gender identity' should be in them.

Edited

Ok.

It will be easier if you read what I write instead of what you think I wrote.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 22:08

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:01

No, I am not “supporting the loss of single sex spaces”. Glad to correct you on that.

Yes you are if you think that people with the opposite 'gender identity' should be in them.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 22:07

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:57

Interesting:

In fact, the judgment says that the Equality Act allows trans men (biological females) to be excluded from the women’s facilities, and trans women (biological males) to be excluded from the men’s. This might happen if, for example, a trans person looks so much like a person of the opposite biological sex that it would be disruptive to accommodate them in the single-sex service.

So going back to first principles - the judgment really will be focus on those who don’t pass (and not getting into a discussion of whether people think it’s a lot or none.)

Those who do pass, likely people like Jake Graf etc. can still be probibited access to the space that matches their biological sex and likely have to use the facilities that match their gender identity.

As I said.

The thing is, it has been recognised for a long time that female people who take testosterone may cause some other female people distress if they see the male cues the testosterone has created. There have been quite a few female people with transgender identities who have taken testosterone post on MN and have told us what they do instead. It is not new that these discussions have happened.

All those posters who read the threatening and intimidatory rhetoric about those female people entering the toilets are simply weaponising that group. Not surprisingly, those female people who are horrified that they are being used this way also point out that often they feel ignored by the trans community if they dare speak about their own feelings on who should be using female single sex spaces.

But posters still try to invoke those female people as a tactic to convince female people into accepting male people into the female single sex spaces. And they seem to think that they are righteous in doing so.

ScribblingPixie · 21/04/2025 22:02

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:57

Interesting:

In fact, the judgment says that the Equality Act allows trans men (biological females) to be excluded from the women’s facilities, and trans women (biological males) to be excluded from the men’s. This might happen if, for example, a trans person looks so much like a person of the opposite biological sex that it would be disruptive to accommodate them in the single-sex service.

So going back to first principles - the judgment really will be focus on those who don’t pass (and not getting into a discussion of whether people think it’s a lot or none.)

Those who do pass, likely people like Jake Graf etc. can still be probibited access to the space that matches their biological sex and likely have to use the facilities that match their gender identity.

No, I think third spaces will need to be advocated for and provided.

Tripleblue · 21/04/2025 22:02

TogepiSun · 20/04/2025 13:48

So pervy man goes in and puts hidden camera in. Then unsuspecting woman goes in and becomes unexpected voyeur porn star. Fabulous!!!!!

Cis men work for companies as cleaners and seem to be able to enter women's toilets etc, so they could do that anyway couldn't they?

They work there. They aren't someone untraceable like a customer in a shop.
Deploy some thinking facilities.

JHound · 21/04/2025 22:01

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:50

What she does doesn't really impact women. She's not a threat to men if she uses their spaces.

She shouldn't be used as an argument to support the loss of single sex spaces which is undoubtably what you are trying to do here.

Edited

No, I am not “supporting the loss of single sex spaces”. Glad to correct you on that.

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:58

qandatime · 21/04/2025 21:34

Does anyone know what this means for trans people like for example Jake Graf? (Pic included) Born a woman so I take it that means Jake will now have to use the female changing rooms and how will that work anyway? To look at Jake looks like a man, will shop assistants have to guess? Not trying to wind anyone up with my post, just curious?

Reading the article posted by the other poster - Jake Graf can legally be excluded from women’s single spaces so likely would have to use the men’s whicb he probably would want to do anyway.

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:57

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:35

Maybe this explanation from Akua Reindorf will help

archive.ph/72lPC

Interesting:

In fact, the judgment says that the Equality Act allows trans men (biological females) to be excluded from the women’s facilities, and trans women (biological males) to be excluded from the men’s. This might happen if, for example, a trans person looks so much like a person of the opposite biological sex that it would be disruptive to accommodate them in the single-sex service.

So going back to first principles - the judgment really will be focus on those who don’t pass (and not getting into a discussion of whether people think it’s a lot or none.)

Those who do pass, likely people like Jake Graf etc. can still be probibited access to the space that matches their biological sex and likely have to use the facilities that match their gender identity.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:56

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:50

What she does doesn't really impact women. She's not a threat to men if she uses their spaces.

She shouldn't be used as an argument to support the loss of single sex spaces which is undoubtably what you are trying to do here.

Edited

I suspect that Jake would be fully in support of being used to make women scared and distressed the way so many posters over the past years have weaponised female people who have taken testosterone, sadly. That couple seem to be as heavily invested in supporting the extreme demands as I have seen. There is only a few female people though with that level of investment in the UK. Jake, Freddy, whittle and James Morton come to mind.

Catiette · 21/04/2025 21:56

Just reread my post & the sarcasm is a little stronger than usual for a first comment... but I really do find the lack of understanding of & empathy for women's experience of the world, especially the least privileged and most vulnerable women, quite distressing at times.

"Inclusive" for me means accommodating those who simply can't use any other space: the physically vulnerable, the traumatised, and religious minorities. It's not about facilitating, or accommodating, or welcoming, but literally about including those who literally can't access a resource otherwise.

Like "safe" spaces, and the word "woman" until last week, the term "inclusion" feels as though it's been diluted from its original meaning and implications - large-scale, physical, do-or-die implications - to perception, and feeling, and choice.

I think inclusion should prioritise those who would, otherwise, have no choice but to quietly walk away, unseen and unheard.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:52

Here is another explanatory article, this time from Michael Foran.

https://t.co/aELsNw2UHz

It also has information relevant to questions being asked. I recommend people read whatever they can get their hands on.

Guidance will no doubt come out where needed. But in the meantime, legal bods are providing overviews for us for free.

https://knowingius.org/p/sex-has-always-meant-biological-sex

https://t.co/aELsNw2UHz

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:50

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:49

I doubt he would want to use the woman’s
space but unless there is a unisex area then that is the expectation (although I expect in reality somebody who looks like that would likely just use the men’s facilities for ease.)

What she does doesn't really impact women. She's not a threat to men if she uses their spaces.

She shouldn't be used as an argument to support the loss of single sex spaces which is undoubtably what you are trying to do here.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:49

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:45

For anyone asking who is Akua Reindorf…

Akua Reindorf KC
Commissioner at Equality and Human Rights Commission

www.equalityhumanrights.com/akua-reindorf-kc

She wrote this article without signing off as being in a personal capacity. Meaning she would have to have okayed it with the EHRC before it was published.

I think we can consider her take to be in line with any guidance that will be forthcoming from the EHRC

What a relief.

Women and girls matter, despite what so many advocate for on these threads.

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:49

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:46

She's female so she can if she's comfortable with it.

If she isn't then the unisex space is probably best for her.

As she's taken steps to modify her body to look like a man she can't really complain if she chooses to use the women's and is questioned.

I doubt he would want to use the woman’s
space but unless there is a unisex area then that is the expectation (although I expect in reality somebody who looks like that would likely just use the men’s facilities for ease.)

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:46

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:44

I think it means he should just use women’s spaces and everybody will be fine with it as he does not have a penis.

Not necessarily.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:46

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:44

I think it means he should just use women’s spaces and everybody will be fine with it as he does not have a penis.

She's female so she can if she's comfortable with it.

If she isn't then the unisex space is probably best for her.

As she's taken steps to modify her body to look like a man she can't really complain if she chooses to use the women's and is questioned.

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:46

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:33

It doesn't prohibit unisex spaces. They can still be offered, but in addition to single sex ones.

Obviously many small businesses can't offer that due to size restrictions. In that situation all unisex is probably ok.

No I mean inclusive spaces as in trans men/women in the sex space that aligns with their gender identity (as opposed to just a unisex space which many accessible spaces are). I did not realise it prohibited that.

Catiette · 21/04/2025 21:45

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:27

And men won’t have toilets which won’t be guaranteed to not have women in them.

But my point is separate - if a private business wants to have inclusive toilets isn’t
that for them to decide with others deciding whether or not to frequent them?

Edited

I'm really confused by what you think inclusive means, JHound. My understanding is that you're defining it as including males who perceive themselves as female in both men's and women's spaces, should they wish to access these for their increased comfort, while excluding female victims of rape, assault and domestic abuse unable to be undressed in close proximity to males from any space? This doesn't seem to fit with my understanding of what inclusive actually means. Could you clarify?

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:45

For anyone asking who is Akua Reindorf…

Akua Reindorf KC
Commissioner at Equality and Human Rights Commission

www.equalityhumanrights.com/akua-reindorf-kc

She wrote this article without signing off as being in a personal capacity. Meaning she would have to have okayed it with the EHRC before it was published.

I think we can consider her take to be in line with any guidance that will be forthcoming from the EHRC

JHound · 21/04/2025 21:44

qandatime · 21/04/2025 21:34

Does anyone know what this means for trans people like for example Jake Graf? (Pic included) Born a woman so I take it that means Jake will now have to use the female changing rooms and how will that work anyway? To look at Jake looks like a man, will shop assistants have to guess? Not trying to wind anyone up with my post, just curious?

I think it means he should just use women’s spaces and everybody will be fine with it as he does not have a penis.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2025 21:38

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:35

Maybe this explanation from Akua Reindorf will help

archive.ph/72lPC

Thanks for that link Helle, I haven't seen it before.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2025 21:37

qandatime · 21/04/2025 21:34

Does anyone know what this means for trans people like for example Jake Graf? (Pic included) Born a woman so I take it that means Jake will now have to use the female changing rooms and how will that work anyway? To look at Jake looks like a man, will shop assistants have to guess? Not trying to wind anyone up with my post, just curious?

The judgement actually covers some of this. It says that if a female person has changed their body with testosterone, there maybe times when they are excluded too and that organisations need to provide spaces accessible to them too.