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Original poster

M&S changing rooms

492 replies

SweetChilliGirl · 20/04/2025 10:43

Was I unreasonable to send this to M&S?

Good morning,

Having not shopped for lingerie with you for several years, due to your policy of allowing trans-identifying men into the women's changing rooms, can I now be assured that, in line with the judgement of the supreme court males will no longer be allowed to identify their way into your single sex changing rooms, thus preserving biological women's dignity and safety? I would very much like to be able to shop with you again.

I look forward to hearing from to to clarify this important matter.

Regards,

Sweetchilligirl

OP posts:
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6
Mumble12 · 20/04/2025 12:08

So you’re telling me you’re happy for this person to share your women only space?

M&S changing rooms
BoldBlueZebra · 20/04/2025 12:07

I don’t try on in store I buy a couple of sizes and return and state that I am return for sizing as was unable to try on in store due to the lack of single sex facilities- I get lots of eye rolls at customer services but tough noogies

TheHangrySwan · 20/04/2025 12:03

How do you propose policing who can enter women’s changing rooms? Are you 100% certain you can identify when someone is trans? Or are you suggesting M&S staff should check genitals before allowing entry?

Didimum · 20/04/2025 12:01

Nevertrustacop · 20/04/2025 11:56

They can, but they can't call them women's, men's or single sex. And they need to be labelled them 'mixed' Because that is what they will be.

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That’s my point.

Didimum · 20/04/2025 12:00

Bikergran · 20/04/2025 11:43

And how are they going to police this? Demand to see birth certificates, or ask for a fanny flash? I have several very androgynous female friends who look quite masculine, conversely I know some trans women you wouldn't give a second glance to or suspect were not born women. Whatever your thoughts on this ruling, HOW is it going to be enforced?

It won’t and can’t be. Offenders will be charged/prosecuted through people reporting it post-incident, like most unlawful actions.

Nanny0gg · 20/04/2025 11:59

clarabenton · 20/04/2025 11:12

YANBU and I look forward to their reply which will hopefully clarify that they plan to abide by the law and provide single sex spaces for women again.

Reply?

Good luck with that

ilovesooty · 20/04/2025 11:58

Ddakji · 20/04/2025 11:52

Yes - if you can’t see beyond yourself. If you’re happy with mixed sex spaces that’s fine. You don’t get to give away female spaces though. And M&S don’t get to lie about their spaces.

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What part of my saying that I appreciate that it's important to some people did you fail to read and comprehend?

Nevertrustacop · 20/04/2025 11:56

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:15

Changing facilities in privately owned businesses aren’t subject to law, OP. M&S can dictate exactly who is allowed in them and it’s their choice.

They can, but they can't call them women's, men's or single sex. And they need to be labelled them 'mixed' Because that is what they will be.

BlueMum16 · 20/04/2025 11:54

ilovesooty · 20/04/2025 11:48

I appreciate that it's important to some people. I'm not bothered if they're locked cubicles. Are you going to call me a dimbo cool girl then?

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My thoughts too. I say this as a woman and a mum of a teenage daughter.

Ddakji · 20/04/2025 11:53

Readingwithoutphonics · 20/04/2025 11:52

Exactly

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How do you think male and female spaces worked in the past? I’m 53, I don’t recall being asked for any ID before entering a female changing room.

Ddakji · 20/04/2025 11:52

ilovesooty · 20/04/2025 11:48

I appreciate that it's important to some people. I'm not bothered if they're locked cubicles. Are you going to call me a dimbo cool girl then?

Show quote history

Yes - if you can’t see beyond yourself. If you’re happy with mixed sex spaces that’s fine. You don’t get to give away female spaces though. And M&S don’t get to lie about their spaces.

Readingwithoutphonics · 20/04/2025 11:52

Bikergran · 20/04/2025 11:43

And how are they going to police this? Demand to see birth certificates, or ask for a fanny flash? I have several very androgynous female friends who look quite masculine, conversely I know some trans women you wouldn't give a second glance to or suspect were not born women. Whatever your thoughts on this ruling, HOW is it going to be enforced?

Exactly

Readingwithoutphonics · 20/04/2025 11:51

What happens if it’s not obvious or if a mistake is made ?

Ddakji · 20/04/2025 11:51

Bikergran · 20/04/2025 11:43

And how are they going to police this? Demand to see birth certificates, or ask for a fanny flash? I have several very androgynous female friends who look quite masculine, conversely I know some trans women you wouldn't give a second glance to or suspect were not born women. Whatever your thoughts on this ruling, HOW is it going to be enforced?

if you’re a gran, as per your username, you’ve been around a while and you’ll surely remember what male and female changing rooms were like before the trend became to allow some men into the women’s changing room.

That’s how they’ll be. I’m sure your androgynous friends can cope as they did in the past. (I can assure you the men don’t “pass” - by that you mean, of course, “be able to deceive women and girls into thinking they’re something they’re not”.)

ilovesooty · 20/04/2025 11:48

Screamingabdabz · 20/04/2025 11:44

YANBU. The more pressure we put on organisations to prioritise the safety of girls and women over men the better. Ignore the dimbo cool girlz who say “it doesn’t bother me”, it’s a point of principle. And a hugely significant one.

I appreciate that it's important to some people. I'm not bothered if they're locked cubicles. Are you going to call me a dimbo cool girl then?

clarabenton · 20/04/2025 11:48

Bikergran · 20/04/2025 11:43

And how are they going to police this? Demand to see birth certificates, or ask for a fanny flash? I have several very androgynous female friends who look quite masculine, conversely I know some trans women you wouldn't give a second glance to or suspect were not born women. Whatever your thoughts on this ruling, HOW is it going to be enforced?

Women know the difference between butch looking women, and men. I promise you they do. On the rare occasion a mistake is made, the accuser of the butch looking woman will apologise, and the woman will generally tell her not to worry about it.

Screamingabdabz · 20/04/2025 11:44

YANBU. The more pressure we put on organisations to prioritise the safety of girls and women over men the better. Ignore the dimbo cool girlz who say “it doesn’t bother me”, it’s a point of principle. And a hugely significant one.

Bikergran · 20/04/2025 11:43

And how are they going to police this? Demand to see birth certificates, or ask for a fanny flash? I have several very androgynous female friends who look quite masculine, conversely I know some trans women you wouldn't give a second glance to or suspect were not born women. Whatever your thoughts on this ruling, HOW is it going to be enforced?

Stayperfect · 20/04/2025 11:42

Why are you shopping in M&S, they advertise on the blatantly misogynistic GB news.

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:41

MrsMappFlint · 20/04/2025 11:34

Regardless of what they can and can't do in law, I'll tell you what they can't do in real terms.

They can't alienate the majority of their customer base if they want to thrive as a business.

If they think that men pretending to be women and their allies spend more than women and their allies, then let them take the test and find out.

Same for Ocado, Barclays and the rest of them. We don't have to do anything except keep our purses firmly shut.

I don’t think there’s enough singular incidents to really make a difference to general footfall however. Boycotting of stores has happened for all sorts of reasons in the past - stance on Russia/Ukraine, palm oil, Teslas etc. It very rarely makes a dent whatsoever to large corporations. This is nothing to do with my personal opinion on whether people should shop there or not.

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:39

MrsMappFlint · 20/04/2025 11:37

And we can declare M&S a no go. We're not helpless.

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Everyone can decide, indeed.

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:38

ChompinCrocodiles · 20/04/2025 11:33

Mmm. That's not what I said though.

They can't allow males to access changing rooms designated as female. No matter how pink and frilly they're dressed.

Unisex fitting rooms don't give those with autogynephilia the same kick as forcing their way into female spaces does. It's why they push back so hard about third spaces, because these just won't do.

The fact that males can no longer 'legitimately' push their way into female spaces is bloody outstanding.

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This has nothing to do with the opinion of the ruling by any direction. My point simply is that M&S do not have to provide single sex spaces for changing spaces for customers. They may or they may not decide to.

MrsMappFlint · 20/04/2025 11:37

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:26

This is for employees - not for customers. They do not have to provide single sex changing for customers. They can declare it unisex.

Show quote history

And we can declare M&S a no go. We're not helpless.

MrsMappFlint · 20/04/2025 11:34

Regardless of what they can and can't do in law, I'll tell you what they can't do in real terms.

They can't alienate the majority of their customer base if they want to thrive as a business.

If they think that men pretending to be women and their allies spend more than women and their allies, then let them take the test and find out.

Same for Ocado, Barclays and the rest of them. We don't have to do anything except keep our purses firmly shut.

ChompinCrocodiles · 20/04/2025 11:33

Didimum · 20/04/2025 11:26

This is for employees - not for customers. They do not have to provide single sex changing for customers. They can declare it unisex.

Show quote history

Mmm. That's not what I said though.

They can't allow males to access changing rooms designated as female. No matter how pink and frilly they're dressed.

Unisex fitting rooms don't give those with autogynephilia the same kick as forcing their way into female spaces does. It's why they push back so hard about third spaces, because these just won't do.

The fact that males can no longer 'legitimately' push their way into female spaces is bloody outstanding.