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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour

45 replies

Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 10:09

I could really use some advice! I really don’t want to be a ‘Karen’ but our neighbours across from us have had a double mattress on the side of their house for a year now. My partner and I thought they would have disposed of it so didn't pay much attention to it but a year later and it’s still there, festering away!
I hate confrontation and don’t want my partner to say anything to my neighbours because I don’t think it’ll be dealt with a positive outcome. My question is, would you complain to the council about it or would you just suck it up and not do anything? It’s not affecting my health but it does make me cringe every time I see it and I’ve also noticed other people commenting on it. Any advice would be great!

OP posts:
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Moll2020 · 20/04/2025 21:22

YABU for using the term “Karen”. This is a ridiculous Americanism.

TheMumEdit · 20/04/2025 20:36

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

This

loobylou10 · 20/04/2025 20:33

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

Yes, please don’t say this.

MyUmberSeal · 20/04/2025 14:55

It is skanky to leave a mattress outside. It looks shit. I can picture an episode of ‘Shameless’. OP hope they get it collected soon.

lovemycbf · 20/04/2025 14:53

Tbh it isn’t your concern
I couldn’t get het up over this
it only makes them look bad

SpanThatWorld · 20/04/2025 14:53

"It's not affecting my health..."

Well, quite. I very much doubt that your neighbours are sitting in their house thinking "Oh, I'm so pleased we've got that mattress out there."

Whatever the reason for the mattress, it's their issue and not yours.

Go about your day.

TheMovieFlopped · 20/04/2025 14:52

Too many sensitive Karen’s on here.
OP if you have a daughter, don’t call her Karen.

Mattress would annoy me too but I wouldn’t say anything as neighbours already know it pisses people off and if you say anything they likely to take offence (especially if neighbour is called Karen) and cause more problems. If it’s on their property there’s nowt much you can do.

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 14:47

beesandstrawberries · 20/04/2025 14:26

I agree with you. I lived on many council estates as a kid and still never encountered people ‘trampy’ enough to leave mattresses outside their home, let alone having it there ‘permanently’. I live in a council flat myself still, so I’m far from a snob but I completely see how it lowers the status of the area and makes it look rough. I don’t see why people do that, it’s not hard to take it to the dump and dispose of it correctly.

I always think if that’s what the outside of their home looks like, I can’t imagine what the inside looks like.

Totally agree. Leaving garbage to fester for a year is disgusting.

One wonders at the abysmal standards of some people here.

Ihopeyouhavent · 20/04/2025 14:35

Dont be ridiculous.

beesandstrawberries · 20/04/2025 14:26

I agree with you. I lived on many council estates as a kid and still never encountered people ‘trampy’ enough to leave mattresses outside their home, let alone having it there ‘permanently’. I live in a council flat myself still, so I’m far from a snob but I completely see how it lowers the status of the area and makes it look rough. I don’t see why people do that, it’s not hard to take it to the dump and dispose of it correctly.

I always think if that’s what the outside of their home looks like, I can’t imagine what the inside looks like.

CoastalCalm · 20/04/2025 14:21

Have you got anything large the council could pick up maybe a load of packaging for nursery furniture or equipment ? They often charge one fee for several items and if so could offer to include their mattress - saying that our council asks that things are not left outside to get wet etc until day of pick up

notatinydancer · 20/04/2025 14:08

Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 10:19

This is what I was wondering too. I could enquire about that!

Show quote history

I highly doubt it. Councils are very short of money.
I paid £25 online to get a fridge taken away.
You could just online and pay it ?
When I was younger with not much money or a car it was very difficult to get rid of large items.

Intranslation · 20/04/2025 14:06

Wanderdust · 20/04/2025 10:18

Does the Council do free pick ups for stuff like this? Could you just order one?! They'll never know it's you, and doesn't sound like they are going to use it for anything!

Edited

Where we live they charge for pickups and always have plus you need to move items to kerbside on the appointed collection day

RidingAgain · 20/04/2025 14:03

“Hi neighbour, I’m doing a tip run on Saturday, would you like me to take the mattress at the same time?”

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 14:02

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 12:20

People pearl clutching about Karen need to get a grip. There are many idioms that use proper names, from Peeping Tom to Nervous Nellie to Dick to Achilles heel to Jack of all trades, just as the tip of the iceberg.

OP, I’d post an anonymous note AND complain to council before rats start nesting in it.

Don’t post an anonymous note. It’s cowardly and smacks of being a busybody. Someone did this to a friend of mine about the state of her front garden, and it really upset her- she’s disabled and on benefits and cannot do her garden herself nor afford to pay someone. She kept wondering which of her neighbours it was and it made her feel like each one of them might be judging her.
Its cruel.

Sux2buthen · 20/04/2025 13:55

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 12:20

People pearl clutching about Karen need to get a grip. There are many idioms that use proper names, from Peeping Tom to Nervous Nellie to Dick to Achilles heel to Jack of all trades, just as the tip of the iceberg.

OP, I’d post an anonymous note AND complain to council before rats start nesting in it.

Agree, it’s tedious

BejewelledCat · 20/04/2025 13:49

Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:12

I’m 39 weeks pregnant so not really up for carting a double mattress to the trip at the min but thanks for that suggestion.

Show quote history

In which case, focus on your imminent new arrival and stop worrying about how your neighbours have chosen to live.

Icanhearabee · 20/04/2025 13:35

Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 10:09

I could really use some advice! I really don’t want to be a ‘Karen’ but our neighbours across from us have had a double mattress on the side of their house for a year now. My partner and I thought they would have disposed of it so didn't pay much attention to it but a year later and it’s still there, festering away!
I hate confrontation and don’t want my partner to say anything to my neighbours because I don’t think it’ll be dealt with a positive outcome. My question is, would you complain to the council about it or would you just suck it up and not do anything? It’s not affecting my health but it does make me cringe every time I see it and I’ve also noticed other people commenting on it. Any advice would be great!

I stopped reading as soon as I saw your use of the phrase “Karen”. YABU. HTH.

intrepidpanda · 20/04/2025 13:30

Why don't you offer to get rid of it?
Just say I noticed that matress has been out a while, I can get rid of it if you want.
Not rude, not offensive.

intrepidpanda · 20/04/2025 13:26

Probably saving up for their 5 items. Council charges the same to lift 5 things as they do for one.

Liz1tummypain · 20/04/2025 13:19

All I can think of is to try and get friendly with them. after a while you might be able to work it into a conversation. Good luck 🤞

OnTheBoardwalk · 20/04/2025 13:17

Of all things to complain about nuisance neighbours this has surely got to be near the bottom of the list

my council charges £50 for bulky rubbish removal for between 1 and 4 items, they don’t do it for free. Maybe you and all the other neighbours commenting could find another 3 items you want removing and ask them if they want to chip in with the mattress

they are well within their rights to tell you to sod off!

Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:16

Lurkingandlearning · 20/04/2025 11:57

Well Karen, I assume that is your name and you just don’t like it. Where was I? Oh yeah… Karen, most councils charge for removing large items including mattresses. Around £20. Maybe your neighbours can’t afford that. Apparently, some people are living at subsistence level. They may well look out at that mattress and be as troubled by it as you are, Karen. Perhaps you could talk to them and ask them if they would like you to get it removed for them. Whatever the cost to you I’m sure would be a small price for the improved aesthetics for your community. Have a perfect day, Karen.

Wow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:15

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 12:20

People pearl clutching about Karen need to get a grip. There are many idioms that use proper names, from Peeping Tom to Nervous Nellie to Dick to Achilles heel to Jack of all trades, just as the tip of the iceberg.

OP, I’d post an anonymous note AND complain to council before rats start nesting in it.

Thank you! Genuinely didn’t mean to offend anyone but clearly have 🫣 I’ll rephrase it, I don’t want to come across as a nagging neighbour (fingers crossed that’s an acceptable phrase) but I do see an issue with leaving a mattress outside your house for 12 months but clearly many people think otherwise 😬.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:12

BejewelledCat · 20/04/2025 10:33

If it is bothering you, why not offer to take it to the tip for them?

I’m 39 weeks pregnant so not really up for carting a double mattress to the trip at the min but thanks for that suggestion.

OP posts: