DH was being an arse, then fell down stairs and I have no sympathy

I think this is well put, and true at any age actually.

You don't have much of a relationship with someone if they upset you and are aware why, and then leave it up to you do to the repair work.

Really? She's 13 and he's her father. It's not a nice thing to say. I still remember my Dad calling me a bitch when I was a similar age (although he was not being 'playful', it's not nice even if he was "joking"). It really hurt and changed my opinion of him

I went up to her to basically say that. I don’t want her to learn the lesson that she she should chase after a man for the apology she deserves, and that starts with her own dad.
Well done OP, I applaud you. I wish more mothers would teach their daughters valuable life lessons like this.

Perhaps he’s a professional footballer?

Far too many girls and women spend far too much energy, effort and time trying to explain to boys and men why their behaviour has upset them, even though it shouldn't need to be explained.

It's not something I would encourage at all, unless they were upset about something that wasn't immediately obvious.

He initially called her back so he could apologise so she knows that he knows why she's upset/pissed off.

🕵️ He "fell" you say? 🧐

I must say I find your H " tickling" your 13 year old dd pretty weird. Surely she is of an age where this is inappropriate?
I also find the idea that a man would deliberately fall downstairs for attention very strange. Surely he would have to have mental health issues to do something like that?

I would have nothing but contempt for his behaviour to both his daughter and his nonsense with the fall, and I wouldn't be able or willing to hide it. Maybe you're a more forgiving person than me.

I'm inclined to agree having fallen down the stairs on two occasions.

This. What's all the drama about?!

Wow going against the grain here, but OP is being way to dramatic about the non-event with the daughter and actually falling down the stairs is a very serious thing.

Once my mum got the school dance time being over by an hour mixed up and punched me right in the face when I got home, without asking for an explanation.
Dazed, I saw a fist coming at me again - and ducked, and she hit the front door.
It stunned her into listening to me - what’s the matter? What have I done? Why are you so angry?
Mum said it was because I was over an hour late getting home. I said no, the dance was over at 11 and I got home at 11:15 - right on time.
She said, well then get to bed.
And I’ve thought of this over the years - I don’t think Mum ever apologised to us kids for anything even once.
Maybe it was that generation winning the war, they couldn’t back down from anything, I don’t know.
Mum did tell me she felt bad about that incident decades later - but she never apologised.

I agree, it’s not great but not LTB territory.

Ds1, who has ADHD, used to do this when he was younger. He grew out of it before he was 10. I would find this behaviour very unattractive in an adult man.

I really don’t think the bitch comment was that big a deal, maybe I’m just not middle class enough to be on mumsnet 😂

You seem to have a good grasp on it. Since you feel like he will apologize later, after he has time to process it better, that will likely be the end of it. So glad you're firmly on your daughter's side on this one. :)

I have to say him tickling her also sounded a bit uncomfortably cringey to me, especially when combined with calling her such a "grown up" curse word. I think of a father tickling a little girl but not so much a teenage girl. If he's neurodivergent, he may need to be told that she's getting to an age where tickling, wrestling etc. may no longer be appropriate.

Aside from the above, I admit the picture of a grown man dramatically rolling down the stairs, then making a big deal of how very, very injured he was to get out of trouble cracked me up. Sounds like you've got your hands full! Good luck with it.

Was he trying to be 'cool' and down with the kids by saying a curse word OP? It's seems more cringe worthy than him being a misogynist? Either way he has to apologise. And no UANBU to think he is a drama king!
Did the glasses break?!

Actually @Caplin, I think what you really need to talk to him about is his insistence that he will only apologise if she comes to him. The ‘bitch’ thing is wrong - but refusing to apologise is worse.

You need to tell him that this demonstrates his underlying belief that he is more important than her because he is male. That even when he acknowledges that he is in the wrong, respect must be paid to his maleness. No man, even a wrong man, should have to ‘crawl’ to a woman. He will deny it - ask him in that case on which grounds he made the proviso. There are none that make sense.

You've made about 12 different excuses for his behaviour, OP.

I have a dramatic DH, so feel your pain. Mine would not fall down the stairs though,it seems far fetched that he would fall down all the stairs then roll around in agony on purpose. But if I thought this was performative this would probably be the beginning of the end because I would be thinking he was such a twat I am not sure I could find him sexy anymore after that.

I have no sympathy for him btw.

i am hypermobile though. I fall a lot and you are correct, my physio said the same, you need good core strength.

Is he a footballer?!

You haven't done anything wrong, OP, and have done plenty right. You've supported your teenager's dignity. You tended to DH's physical injury but not his misplaced pride. You're all good. Hope he resolves his problem tomorrow.

As well as being “one of those pivotal moments with your parents where you suddenly realise they are a human and sometimes not nice” your daughter is also at an age where she is maturing and knowing her own mind, so a shift in the power dynamic between them, your dh may be uncomfortable with this and struggling to shift to a more adult relationship, hence his misjudgement. So how he handles it and modifies his behaviour is important for their relationship to avoid more not nice moments going forward.