DH was being an arse, then fell down stairs and I have no sympathy

@Mervyco ”bitter women” - 1. Why are we bitter? What is it that we’re bitter about? 2. Do you know that only a sexist man would ever use the term “bitter women” as it’s sexist AF and everyone knows that (apart from sexist men)
3. How do you know we’re all women?

Why are you making yourself sound like some sort of hero for caring for an abusive narcissist? It makes you sound like more of a mug than a hero

And “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a completely outdated saying and it’s now common knowledge that it was used as a defence mechanism to try and cope with the pain words cause

I absolutely love what you said to her about not chasing a man INCLUDING her own father. She'll go far with a mother like you. Keep going with your gut instincts and I don't think you'll go wrong x

When I said when I have had too much to drink I meant that on the rare occasions that has happened.
I have cared for my wife when she was bed ridden for several years with an undiagnosed condition. I took her to the loo, cooked, cleaned and ran the home, so I do not need a load of bitter women telling me how abusive I am,
My first wife was an alcoholic and i stayed with her for seven years through 5 rehabs, until she passed. My second wife turned into an abusive narcisist who would used humiliation and violence, but when she had terminal cacer I stayed and made sure she suffered as little as possible, turning her every 2 hours, day and night.ensuring her meds were sufficient to control the pain, and making her meals even though she could hardly eat and spoon feeding when she could not do it herself. My Reward? she gave her half of the home and business to her childtren and they wanted the cash, now. I had to pay them rent to stay in my own house at the same time as covering the mortgage. So don't you lecture me about abuse, I have had a tonne of it from women.
Why are you defending an abusive wife who mocked her husband who could have seriously hurt himself falling doen the stairs, Is it the Me Too mentality that a woman can do no wrong?? So he upset his daughter. What happened to sticks and stones can break my bones but words cannot hurt me. The husband is the abused one, from that woman's reaction to his fall
When you have cared for 3 spouces like I have, then lecture me. Otherwise keep your vicious comments to yourself

@Mervyco did you really think this was the right platform to state your opinion and reveal your abusive tendencies? 🤣 Did you really think anyone on here was going to agree with you? How arrogant. Think you belong on one of those creepy incel forums instead. Does your wife say hurtful things to you and do you hold a grudge? Cos if it’s only one-sided that’s abuse, not an argument. Also calling your own teen daughter a bitch is not “just words”. That’s such an uneducated, simplistic few. You sound really dumb

You're a typical abusive male, thinking you can say hurtful things to your wife and emotionally abuse her (and emotional abuse is considered Domestic Violence - I bet you didn't know that) because she 'doesn't hold a grudge' (clearly worn down by her abusive thug of a husband, as she is a victim of DV and you expect all women to be that weak and submissive). You are not a loving husband, you are an abuser. How dare you lecture women on here you misogynist. And quit gaslighting with the 'what if he died'. What if it snows in summer? What if a meteor hits your kitchen window tonight? He didn't die. Grow up. What if your wife died after you emotionally abused her before you got the chance to apologise? That is more relevant. You're an absolute disgrace. A pig of a man and have no business lecturing anyone.

I think you know that you are an abusive husband and you need that to be normalised.

It's not normal.
It's not normal.
It's not normal.

You're hardly one to set yourself up as some sort of moral guardian, "I have had too much to drink, and I have said hurtful things to my wife"!!!

She should "bear a grudge"! She shouldn't have to put up with that crap!

This thread (although I think OP’s DH is clearly a misogynistic arsehole and completely in the wrong) has been very entertaining, mostly because of how ridiculous it is, especially “form for falling” 🤣🤣 🤣 does that go under skills on his cv?! Tbh you both sound a bit mental. Also @tooksometime you’re a vile bully and pathetic. Bringing up someone’s traumatic previous post to taunt them..really?! Also don’t you have to pay for that feature? You pay for MN? That’s embarrassing 🤣

Grow up.

It’s got nothing to do with pearl clutching (whatever that means) or being offended by swearing. It’s not the fact it’s a swear word it’s the fact it’s a gross, sexist, dehumanising word to call a woman, especially for a man to call a woman. It’s the definition of a female dog ffs. It’s completely dehumanising

I thought that perhaps he's a professional footballer.

I think you have two things here...

1. Yes, his attitude with DD was poor and he needs to apologise. YANBU
2. Anyone who falls downstairs deserves support and sympathy. It's a horrible, horrible thing to have happen and whilst you might not break bones you can get seriously bruised. I think you are BU about him feeling sore and shaken.

What a loving wife , you are not. OK, so he overstepped the mark with your daughter. But, he fell down the stairs and could have been seriously injured and your responce is "he is hamming it up".
Well get over yourself, He is your husband of 25 years. and whatever he said, they are just words and your reaction shows a serious lack of concern, for him. You should have put aside your anger and seen to his injuries, That was more important right now. If he had died, would you have said he was doing it deliberately so as not to have to apologise to your daughter?
I have had too much to drink, and I have said hurtful things to my wife, which was stupid and unnecessary, but she does not hold a grudge, forever, like you seem to do. If I had fallen down the stairs, it would have been forgotten until we could discuss it, another time.

But men are conditioned not to apologise

Bollocks.

He knows he screwed up. He wants to apologise. But men are conditioned not to apologise (like a kid caught doing something wrong). And while probably not deliberate, the fall is convenient.

Once the apology is forthcoming, everyone needs to draw a line and move on.

This was the most pointless thread I ever read. OP posts in a rage, day after defends DH and gets annoyed at people getting annoyed with her DH on her behalf, because of the thread she created!!!!

I offered to cancel Easter Sunday lunch with his family tomorrow and he said yes (we are cooking). I won’t as I know he was being a ham.

I would have let him cancel.

Did you end up doing the cooking and washing up or did he do his share?

The title of the thread made me laugh out loud lol!
However, he's been an arse and needs to apologise to DD.

WTAF is this thread actually about ???
I’m at a loss !
You said they were messing around & he playfully said bitch , so okay he could have used a diff word , but it wasn’t said in malice so what’s all the drama about !
And before I get hammered with posts of
“so you think it’s ok to call your children curse words “
NO, I DON’T !!!
I’m saying I don’t get all the dramatics & then all this rubbish about falling down the stairs .
What actually are you looking for advice on ??
To me it’s not a dramatic situation, It’s just one particular day in the life of ……

If she called him a wanker, in jest, and he said "stop being a bitch", would everyone here still feel he had done something unforgivable?

He has form for dramatic falling? Wtf is he 90?! This is such an ick!

OP, his fall has a whiff of controlling and manipulative behaviour to divert your focus from your annoyance towards him.

Has he form?
You have dealt with what he said and he has rightly apologised, but I would reflect and see if you notice a pattern.

Does he keep falling over because he has a neurological problem / illness?

Do moonpig stock a get well card with a cartoon of the boy who cried wolf on it?

Sounds like he only slipped down a few stairs, not the entire set. His reaction is a lot of drama on a good day, let alone when he's just upset the family. I don't think it's even about sympathy on the part of the OP but about not feeding into the self-pitying and attention-seeking behavior, which reads as very manipulative given the timing. My DH tends to get highly dramatic over a common cold (making sure to sniffle loudly if I walk by, at times even forcing himself to dramatically shudder and shake when he walks in a room wrapped in a blanket, right down to chattering his teeth!) Sometimes the more these men ham it up for attention, the less they deserve it.