That so many AIBU are about no children at weddings?!

I think a lovely compromise if practical is to include children in the church/registry office ceremony and then have them whisked away if possible, as a little girl I was desperate to see a wedding and a bride in a princess dinner but I wouldn't have enjoyed a long reception (unless they had a kids area /kids entertainment)

People who have weddings abroad without kids and then get offended that people can't come, including those breastfeeding babies are silly!

Why are you putting all of this on the bride? Presumably there is a groom too???

Why would the bride having a baby change their wedding? Even if the couples baby came does not mean that the floodgates should open for all the other children.

Maybe people just want to have the wedding they want to?

I don't know why people do that photo break, it's so rude to just leave people hanging.

One thing that has probably changes is that in the past, when people were married in churches, it was normal for the ceremony to be open - many churches would not bar members of the community from a sacramental observance. So it was much more of a community based kind of thing. And a lot of times the reception was just people going back to someone's home or in the hall, unless you were quite well off.

People think of it now as a kind of party.

Not everyone enjoys the same things. One person’s joy is another’s tedious arseache.

People can have the weddings they want, which is preferable to having the type of wedding they don’t want because of external pressure placed on them by people who think they’re the authority on what a wedding ‘should’ be.

Peter Kay describes the joy of being a child skidding on the dance floor

That's the child's prospective. For every adult who thinks it's cute/funny etc there'll also be others thinking they shouldn't have to step over kids coming back from the bar & wishing they'd sit down. If there's a dozen kids you've potentially got a dozen kids throwing themselves across the floor

It's definitely a devisive topic.

Personally I found the few weddings I was invited to as a child to be as boring as hell. I'd have been far happier spending the day with my Gran

There would have only been a handful of kids at our wedding if we did invite them, but we went to a wedding a month before and couldn’t hear the ceremony for kids - they weren’t crying, just being a bit noisy. We left saying thank god we have said no kids at the wedding!

Now we have our own kids, I am more than happy to go to kid free weddings and have never been bothered that they haven’t been invited!

We’ve had to turn down an invite because it would be impossible for us to attend. The bride to be recently had a baby, but no change of plans regarding children. My older son was hurt because even though he’s a teen (so not invited) he felt pushed out of a family wedding. I know a few families who will not be able to attend - I’m wondering whether this was the plan all along? I also wonder whether the bride may want all the attention on her and the groom, which you could argue is fair enough… but I do find it strange.

I think that’s a bit ridiculous. I can’t imagine why anyone cares that much either way, unless literally everyone they might use for one-off childcare is attending the wedding.

Weddings are expensive, people don't parent their children well and / or people are bored of people pleasing l suppose. It's an invite, not a summons as they say on here. People don't have to take their children everywhere and for some occasions prefer leaving them at home. To be honest lm bored of the posts going on about it! Pre-children me wasn't a fan of children at weddings as a guest or bride. Post-children me feels the same. At a friends weddings another bridesmaid children gave all the bridal party norovirus 🙄. A friend of mine got hand, foot and mouth at her own wedding off a child guest

Because it is an extremely long and very boring day for young kids. 10+ no problem but younger than that and it is a ball ache for them and the parents. Our kids are 6, 4, 2 and a baby and unless it was a sibling I wouldn’t want them to be invited and I 100% wouldn’t be offended! Crazy that anyone would be at that age.

adults underestimate how insanely boring wedding are or the pressure they put on the parents to ensure them children stay quiet during the service and speeches and balance staying up for the party after with exhausted and out of routine children

no thank you

I didn't have any children at my wedding, including nieces and nephews, because I wanted my wedding to be an adult event and yes, not have children skidding on the dance floor.

I wanted to have a wedding, not a children's party.

Good gods. Can we not just be adults about it and agree that the bride and groom can have the kind of wedding they want because it’s their day and most of them are paying through the nose for it themselves? The amount of drama over this is insane.

We got married in our late 30s. Neices, nephews, our own children and godchildren made 15 children. All guests children would have been close to 50 children. The line had to be drawn. Otherwise we might as well have hired the wiggles as our wedding band.

It's what you're used to, I suppose. I was genuinely startled when my friend said no kids were invited to her wedding when I had responded to her initial (pre-invite) text by saying me and my 1 yo would come. Good thing I did, because if I hadn't casually mentioned it I would've just rocked up with her - it didn't occur to me she wouldn't be welcome!
I'd only ever been to weddings with all ages before and, come to think of it, since. And I love a wedding including kids. My children would be very very sad to be excluded from an auntie's wedding, and probably a bit sad and confused to be excluded from a close family friend's.
I did have a good time at that one child free wedding though.

It used to baffle me too but then I saw how many people on MN say they do, or encourage others, to make their little girls stealth bridesmaids. There was a thread not long ago where loads of posters thought it was fine to dress Their DDs as a flower girl (despite the fact they hadn’t been asked), give her a basket of petals and chuck her down the aisle to follow the bridesmaids. Now I don’t blame people for having child free wedding when this is apparently the norm.

Kids at weddings are a good laugh.
Love the scene in Bridget Jones where she’s doing Gangnam Style with the children (is that even a wedding? Can’t remember!)

There are main reasons but the main ones include:

• People think the guest list shouldn't just be the choice of the bride & groom
• People eho think their choice is the right choice
• People who think their kids belong everywhere
• People who don't accept that an occasion which usually involves alcohol isn't the place for kids
• People with a sense of entitlement

It’s just the explicit rejection of the children that grates.

You mean them just not being invited, right? Tomorrow I haven't been invited to my sister's house, my Ex in-laws house, the Pope's Easter dinner, the White House's Egg Roll or Disney land.

Am I to take it that I've been explicitly rejected?😦 Or just not invited @Nomad68?🤷‍♀️

This is a very good point. The "joining of families" thing is a bit of a stretch (in my experience of weddings and the aftermath). The only time the families see each other is at events hosted by the bride and groom.... I've rarely seen it happen that members of the groom's family would meet up with members of the bride's family without either present.

Why @Ladamesansmerci - small children particularly probably won’t enjoy it

And weddings aren’t about joining families - they are about the bride and groom getting married

I personally think weddings are about joining families, and children are part of families. I find it very odd when people don't want their own niece's and nephews at weddings.

Obviously you wouldn't invite every child of every friend, but I think it's rude when people don't invite immediate family who are children (assuming you are close ofc)

Ha, I know the Peter Kay thing about being the kid skidding on the dance floor too. But that is the evening do. They are more fun. No photoshoots, no formal meals. Just a disco basically.

The day stuff is fucking boring enough for adults. A two hour break of fuck all except the bride and groom off taking photos.