"Ipad Kid" ??

My own mother despises children on phones in restaurants and judges hard. Yet whenever she’s alone with the kids, they always end up watching tv by the end of the day! She forgets how hard it is when they’re tiny.

I am going to be ‘that mum’ but really honestly it’s just fucking monumental laziness .. my kids were born in mid 90s so no iPads .. DS (ASD special school completely non verbal until 9 ish) somehow we used to manage going out for dinner without manic running around (because I said ‘no’) .. and there were no screens .. some of the restaurants had colouring .. that was it .. we all lived .. but you know what ? We didn’t have phones either so were actually TALKING to our children..

I am going to be ‘that mum’ but really honestly it’s just fucking monumental laziness .. my kids were born in mid 90s so no iPads .. DS (ASD special school completely non verbal until 9 ish) somehow we used to manage going out for dinner without manic running around (because I said ‘no’) .. and there were no screens .. some of the restaurants had colouring .. that was it .. we all lived .. but you know what ? We didn’t have phones either so were actually TALKING to our children..

So, when you're home, you ask your kids to sit at the table, then you ask what they want to eat, then they have to stay sitting at the table while you cook it?

And is your dining room massive, with lots of other people eating at different tables, many of whom will get their food before your kids?

Really?

Or is eating in a restaurant very different from eating at home so it can be treated differently?

Nothing wrong with colouring books at all. It only escalates if you’re unable to get your children to understand that that is their limit. I’ve always done colouring books, and restaurants give them out, it’s quiet and gives them a break from the adult environment. it takes a lot longer (ordering and waiting for it come) than at home to have a meal. I don’t use screens but if the kid is wearing headphones I don’t really have a problem with it.

PUT SOME HEADPHONES ON YOUR CHILD, BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO HEAR COCOMELON.

But you think it’s OK to disturb EVERYONE ELSE? There’s two sides to that and more consideration is required. Headphones are the way here so that everyone is happy.

That’s fair enough. I think we will have to agree to disagree on that one, then, as I think the social/soft skills are just as important as the academics to start early.

The biggest problem with screens in restaurants is when they are allowed to disturb the atmosphere for others.

This...
Not everyone dislikes children.
Not everyone cares if your DC has a device, wherever you may be.

But not everyone wants to listen/hear said device.

When in a public eaterie pretty much all people are interested in when asking is for the volume to be kept down so everyone within ear shot can enjoy their food and own conversation at a decent time level.

Right. We agree on that. But we disagree that it needs to be learned at an early age, it's really not the same as reading 😕

The research about screen use in young children is pretty damning.

But if they're not my children, it's not (directly) my problem.*

The biggest problem with screens in restaurants is when they are allowed to disturb the atmosphere for others.

And unfortunately, in the Venn diagram of different types of screen users, the overlap between people whose children can't possibly sit through a meal without staring gormlessly at a screen and people who think it's OK to disturb other people with annoying electronic noises is huge.

*I do have some concerns about the overall calibre of the other children in my children's classes at school if too many of them are heavy screen users.

100%

100%. Kids should be taken everywhere, as that’s how they learn to be part of society and to interact in an appropriate social way. A kids who isn’t taken anywhere or taught to behave in a socially acceptable way, is unlikely to behave in a socially acceptable way. Then they’re at risk of being diagnosed with a condition where they can’t understand social norms.

The main way they learn is via learned behaviour. If a parent is constantly on their phone, a child will want to copy. It was the same when parents smoked in front of kids: the kids would pretend to smoke. IMHO if you’re constantly on your phone while with your kids, it’s just as bad. And you’re probably addicted in the same way as a smoker.

If kids aren’t taught to sit at a table with their family to eat at home every day, and are instead allowed to eat off their lap, in front of the tv while walking or running around, of course they’ll struggle to miraculously sit at a table in a cafe or restaurant. It’s not rocket science.

True, there seems to be a growing movement of 'i hate kids people' so even the mere mention of a child is. 'I dont like kids! Why do i have to hear about them!' 🤣

But you can ignore eye rolls i suppose. People cannot ignore loud screen use. And they cannot ignore the weird silent zombie atmosphere of restaurants now.

Feels strange being the few people actually talking to each other.

I did wonder if those in other countries use smart devices for their DC when eating out.

Is it as common as in the UK.

I haven't been abroad for 5 years, previously most years and loved the way when out at eateries families/people would be chatting and laughing, children included.
Never saw a device in sight for adult or DC.

It’s one of the reasons we often end up at the Harvester rather than other restaurants when with my 3 year old. They can choose from salad bar almost immediately and then when they’re finished that, their main is usually ready so not too much waiting about!

Have you read my posts? I’m an advocate for NOT using iPads. I’m just saying that sadly I think some parents jump to that as an “easy” option to keep their child completely zoned out and therefore avoid judgement if their child is being a bit chatty, fussy etc.

💯 be a kid, don't be a disruptive brat. Surely not too much to ask 🙃

but I think they were probably better behaved and parents were open to feedback from others to also keep them in check

Not sure they were better behaved, the accident rate for one was far higher than today.

You might not, but sadly I think there are plenty of people about who do! Look at the eg from a PP here whose child was simply naming items on the tube and they were met with sighs/eye rolls.

That makes zero sense. A kid on an ipad is not learning how to behave anywhere

But then 99% of the adults on the bus seem to be looking down at their 'phone too so...

Quite. At a cafe with 1 dc yesterday having a cake & tea. My phone had died so no screen access for either of us. The cafe was full of adults often together on their phones...

@DefinitelyMaybe92 yes I remember perfectly well how hard it is getting through meal times in public..My objection is really against giving electronics to really young children, even for limited periods..But we shall see . We've got nearly a generation who have gone through access to these devices. The guinea pig generation. I'm sure there are pro's and con's.

It seems there's no need for anyone to be concerned about the damaging effects of kids being given a screen, as the ones we see watching Peppa Pig on high volume have invisible disabilities and/or are only on them for 30 minutes a day, when they're suffering from stress, for example having to sit with their family waiting for food to arrive, sitting in a trolley at a supermarket, sitting in a car/bus/sofa at home.

And the offended parents on this thread only resort to them when they're exhausted by parenting, not to help them ignore their kids.

I dont think anyone is exoecting children to be completely silent or immaculate. I think theyvexpect parents to make sure their kids are not running around the restaurant or beng too disruptive.

We take our toddler out quite a bit with colouring books and such. But when she gets a bit bored or noisy we also take it in turns to take her for a walk outside. Its considerate to other diners. But noone has ever expected her to sit still quietly.