"Ipad Kid" ??

My son is also severely autistic but grew up pre-screens. Going out to eat was rare and challenging. Sometimes we’d have to leave halfway through a meal if I could see that he was getting agitated, but I would never dreamed of staying and ruining everyone else’s meal. My son’s autism does not trump numerous other customers’ rights to enjoy their meal in peace.

I think the sad thing for me is this whole argument that adults need a break and that’s why they put their kids in front of screens during a meal out. What happened to talking to kids / reading a book with them/ doing colouring with them / playing a game / having a conversation … it’s a perfect opportunity to do things we don’t always have time for at home. And to enjoy it rather than see it as chore. That aspect of parenting has definitely changed since my kids were small and I’m only talking about 7 or 8 years ago. If I went to Costa I took some books and I read them to my toddler and that was a pretty common thing for parents to do. Don’t remember the last time I saw that.

Does using a device equate to parenting, fair enough use it, preferably quietly, but no way should it be called parenting.

Truth is when you stick any device under your kids nose to watch or listen to your parenting pretty much stops for a time as it's now the device doing the 'parenting'

Pretty much like when I say, and maybe others also say the same, I know not, I've got a stack of washing to do, but other than feeding clothes into the machine' adding some smelly's and turning it on technically it's not me doing the washing...the device is.

I’m guessing he may not be able to tolerate headphones, but if that’s the case can’t you at least turn the sound off for a short period of time?

Fucking rough 🤣. What lucky children you have.

Hit a nerve, did we?

Not sure why ‘u’ expect us to take any notice of ‘ur’ opinions anyway, when ‘u’ can’t even be bothered typing words out in full.

But everyone around is expected to hear the noise from the childs devices...without choice.

Same could be said for their parents too.

Your answer is typical ....but shows you only have one opinion and it's a "do as I say one".

Mind your own business. Parent ur own kids how u like and leave others to it. Not everyone needs to hear ur opinions

It's very telling of someone that would use such aggression to a simple request.

I'm all for advocating for a DC when such times are called for but some of these replies to a simple request that, TBF shouldn't even have to be pointed out in any eaterie stink more of selfishness, inconsiderate and 'I can so I will' people.

Nasty. Hopefully you stick to fast food places where noise isn’t so much of a bother.

‘Do one’? If I met such aggression from a simple request Id be pretty shocked. B poor reflection on you.

Needs to be on silent, or headphones. Doesn’t matter if the child has additional needs or not. Other people should never have to listen to iPad shit.

I don't want half the children in my kid's class to be developmentally delayed compared to children raised in the pre screen era. That's not in anyone's interests.
@MissScarletInTheBallroom

Good point, with you here

YABU. My 12 year old old is severely autistic and the only way I can go out to eat, once in a blue moon is if we take his iPad. My other children are not on an iPad and don’t own one. Some children need one. Mind your own business. FWIW he would be watching the dancing fruits you requested to be turned off, to which I would have told you to do one.

Talk about selfish. Don't use an iPad or use headphones. Your child isn't more important than evey other poor person that happens to be in the restaurant at the same time as you.
Get him used to headphones or engage with him don't inflict his wants on everyone else.

So direct your criticisms towards that, not towards an example of why blanket judgement isn't helpful or appropriate.

The problem is that 99% of the time these devices are not on mute.

And there seems to be a large overlap between parents who say their kids need screens because they are autistic and parents who say their kids can't wear headphones because they are autistic.

Well, you clearly do care when you're posting this way in response to an example in which a device was on mute.

I don't care as long as the sound is off. Not down, off.

And of course I don't want half the children in my kid's class to be developmentally delayed compared to children raised in the pre screen era. That's not in anyone's interests.

It seems a little needlessly judgemental to use language such as 'gormlessly' in your critique of an example of a child using a coping strategy independently and with consideration for others.

There is evidence of screen use, especially passive and open-ended screen use, being detrimental to children's development, principally considering scenarios in which screens are used by neurotypical children with limited parental engagement. But you've not chosen to discuss that constructively. Instead, you've used phrases like "brain rotting" and "gormlessly", language which may well be upsetting to parents who have neurodiverse children for whom time-limited and often quite structured screentime can be a valuable tool.

In the case of the young boy in my example, he's a lovely kid who's an absolute delight to have spend time with our family and academically he's years ahead of where others his age are (think A-level textbooks in primary school). If 5 minutes of a maths lecture on a screen (on mute) as a break helps him self-regulate enough to enjoy a meal out with his friends (who didn't watch it), that's an overall win for his social development too, given that the alternative at that point would have probably been leaving and missing out on the rest of the fun.

I'd choose him and his lovely, pragmatic and non-judgemental dad any day, rather than someone who refers to children using language such as 'gormless' and thinks talking about the 'overall calibre' of children is acceptable.

Anyone saying “neurodiversity” and “volume low” is a hypocrite - volume off or headphones, otherwise you’re making the environment intolerable for other people, including neurodiverse children and adults, and people with hearing impairments. The volume isn’t “low” just because it’s not at the maximum, we can all hear the tinny whine

"I don't know if that's a good excuse to be honest as really you want to try and engage children with autism to have conversation not stifle them even more."

You are right you don't know and the parents probably know more.

Fair 😊

I really want this to be a parody post, but sadly I have a feeling it isn’t. How selfish you sound, if this post is serious.

This.
And yes, I will complain, to you and the restaurant staff if necessary.