Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Ipad Kid" ??

489 replies

Becc91 · 19/04/2025 22:08

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

OP posts:
guiling · 23/04/2025 17:33

I do worry about the children being brought up so much on screens... does not bode well for their self-regulation, communication and emotional wellbeing. So shocking to see babies or toddlers in prams on them when there is plenty to interact with in the real world

NorthernSpirit · 23/04/2025 17:29

Just back from a trip to town - in TK Maxx a women seemed to be following me around with a (I would say) 2 year old in a pram clued to a phone watching something on loudspeaker. The child looked like it had been given crack.

Yes I do judge as I think it’s very sad.

dairydebris · 23/04/2025 17:22

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:56

what about 3, 4, what if more than 1 is acting up on a certain occasion (hopefully not all the time)?

Show quote history

As above, we have to go home and mummy will be very very cross and they'll have to deal with the consequences.
That's how the world works, and that's what they need to learn to deal with.

EmmaEmEmz · 23/04/2025 17:13

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:56

what about 3, 4, what if more than 1 is acting up on a certain occasion (hopefully not all the time)?

Show quote history

You deal with that child or children, and if that doesn't work, you take them all out

Anonym00se · 23/04/2025 17:07

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:56

what about 3, 4, what if more than 1 is acting up on a certain occasion (hopefully not all the time)?

Show quote history

You deal with them both, and if you can’t, you take them all out.

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:56

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 16:16

You seriously think a parent with two children can't possibly stop one of them throwing food in a restaurant?

Show quote history

what about 3, 4, what if more than 1 is acting up on a certain occasion (hopefully not all the time)?

dairydebris · 23/04/2025 16:49

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:10

of course i am being serious. Sometime there is no perfect solution, Or is there, always?

Show quote history

I've had 2 of 3 of my kids seriously misbehave in restaurants. They are definitely not angels. A few times we've had to leave, food unfinished, and I've been seriously annoyed.
Sucks for me, but as my youngest keeps reminding me, that's what you get if you choose to have kids. I must have said that once, and now it keeps getting chucked back at me.... sigh...
But yes, that's a lesson in itself. Seriously misbehave and we will leave.
No Ipads in restaurants or shops. No calming them with screens. They have to learn to calm themselves. It's part of normal human development.

It's a hill I will die on.

Anonym00se · 23/04/2025 16:22

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:09

never denied it! Of course some people are terrible parents, and no child is an angel 100% of the time... (nor any adult)

Show quote history

Nobody is disputing that. But as long as you’re making efforts to interact with them and reward good behaviour you won’t be judged. If you can’t be bothered and expect to use a device to control them, you will be. Nobody expects children to perfect.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 16:16

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:10

of course i am being serious. Sometime there is no perfect solution, Or is there, always?

Show quote history

You seriously think a parent with two children can't possibly stop one of them throwing food in a restaurant?

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:10

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 16:07

You can't be serious.

Show quote history

of course i am being serious. Sometime there is no perfect solution, Or is there, always?

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 16:09

ruethewhirl · 23/04/2025 15:58

But some people don’t try hard enough. Surely you can’t deny that.

Show quote history

never denied it! Of course some people are terrible parents, and no child is an angel 100% of the time... (nor any adult)

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 16:07

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:38

So when 'parenting' one exhausted/starving child, if even they do engage with said parent, what is to be done about the others throwing food screaming etc... Of course being glued to an ipad is suboptimal but, to misquote Sherlock Holmes "When you have eliminated the possible, whatever remains, however suboptimal, must be the truth"

Show quote history

You can't be serious.

ruethewhirl · 23/04/2025 15:58

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:55

You can parent some of the children all of the time, and all of the children some of the time, but you can not (parent all of the people all of the time. (and anyone who claims otherwise is fooling only themselves..)

Show quote history

But some people don’t try hard enough. Surely you can’t deny that.

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:55

ruethewhirl · 23/04/2025 15:45

You talk as though parents are powerless to stop that happening. They aren’t.

Show quote history

You can parent some of the children all of the time, and all of the children some of the time, but you can not (parent all of the people all of the time. (and anyone who claims otherwise is fooling only themselves..)

ruethewhirl · 23/04/2025 15:45

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 14:55

'active parenting' doesn't result in them all doing everything you want to do all at the same time. Sometimes some will, sometimes all will! (on a lucky day). So would you have them shouting or otherwise disrupting others' dinner

Show quote history

You talk as though parents are powerless to stop that happening. They aren’t.

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:42

EmmaEmEmz · 23/04/2025 15:31

No, I wouldn't...which is why I parent them. They know how to behave.

Show quote history

of course one would expect the children have been taught how to behave, however kids are humans too. No one does the right thing all of the time (or anyone who claims to is obviously a Narcissist and/or liar), same goes for children...

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:38

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 15:21

It wasn't marginal disruption or "background noise." Electronic noises are incredibly intrusive and don't recede into the background like natural sounds or human speech. That's why it's socially unacceptable to play devices out loud in public.

And it isn't a choice between shove an iPad in their face or let them scream and throw food. Or at least, those aren't the only choices for someone actually willing to be a parent.

Show quote history

So when 'parenting' one exhausted/starving child, if even they do engage with said parent, what is to be done about the others throwing food screaming etc... Of course being glued to an ipad is suboptimal but, to misquote Sherlock Holmes "When you have eliminated the possible, whatever remains, however suboptimal, must be the truth"

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:32

dimsiaradcymraeg · 20/04/2025 22:00

How do you expect your children to learn if you stick them on iPads? They’ll only learn by doing. Children aren’t born with the skills, they have to been taught. You teach them. In the examples here, the parents are inconsiderate to everyone around them.

Show quote history

"they have to HAVE been taught." "they have to been taught."?

EmmaEmEmz · 23/04/2025 15:31

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 14:55

'active parenting' doesn't result in them all doing everything you want to do all at the same time. Sometimes some will, sometimes all will! (on a lucky day). So would you have them shouting or otherwise disrupting others' dinner

Show quote history

No, I wouldn't...which is why I parent them. They know how to behave.

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:24

Lilactimes · 20/04/2025 07:49

I agree. I am definitely addicted and it’s got quite bad this past 3 years. As I’ve had a bit more time, working less I’ve filled it with my phone.

Show quote history

Why would you want to watch 2 minutes of ads? Designed to buy things you probably don't need. Is that time better not spent reading about the Justinian Plague, playing wordle, checking for your schedule the next day?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/04/2025 15:21

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:01

of course hard things need to be done, i think we all know that. OPs complaint was about another parents' child marginally disrupting there meal with some background noise from a child's device. Would a tired screaming toddler or children after a days' travelling throwing food be less disruptive? Personally the thing I would do is give a child a device at the table but sometimes, i am not going to lie, it''s been the least worst option..

Show quote history

It wasn't marginal disruption or "background noise." Electronic noises are incredibly intrusive and don't recede into the background like natural sounds or human speech. That's why it's socially unacceptable to play devices out loud in public.

And it isn't a choice between shove an iPad in their face or let them scream and throw food. Or at least, those aren't the only choices for someone actually willing to be a parent.

Netflixandchill25 · 23/04/2025 15:18

YADNBU but some people will hate this. At a theme park over the Easter holidays and saw so many very young children in buggies watching phones. I don’t believe they were all autistic!

I also privately think the “DC is autistic and needs it to regulate” is bullshit too as I have neurodivergent children and yes they would be quiet with hours and hours of screen time, doesn’t mean it’s good for them.

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:11

EmmaEmEmz · 22/04/2025 17:52

It absolutely is as simple as that.

I've got four children.

Show quote history

Sorry that Q was addresses to @daisydebris

minnienono · 23/04/2025 15:05

Sound off or headphones, no exceptions. My dsd is severely disabled but the iPad isn’t allowed at the table (we won’t discuss the other waking hours of the day Grin)

HamptonPlace · 23/04/2025 15:02

ruethewhirl · 23/04/2025 09:35

Oh, so now we’re Karens for not agreeing with you. 😂

It’s not being a Karen to think that under normal circumstances a parent should be capable of parenting without shoving an iPad under their kid’s nose, but I don’t know why you assume we think small kids need no stimulation whatsoever when they’re out. Of course they need it. When I was very little I was always given a comic or a colouring book to bring with me when we went out. That kept me in my seat just fine. It’s so funny to suggest iPads are somehow necessary otherwise a kid will wreak mayhem, when parents managed for literally decades without them.

I notice there’s no mention in your potted parenting manual of actually talking to a child.

Show quote history

millenia

Swipe left for the next trending thread