"Ipad Kid" ??

I agree with you OP. I understand there will be a percentage of children with additional needs who may need to be regulated or an exhausted parent who just needs a bit of quiet time but there are also parents who just can’t be bothered and see tablets as easy, they don’t care that there’s a restaurant full of people whose enjoyment of their meal has lessened because all they can hear is kids tv. I regularly see babies (6 months plus) with mobile phones attached to their pram watching tv shows. I was on a bus recently and a mum gave her maybe 5 year old her phone and it was so loud, another passenger nicely asked if she could turn it down as she had a nasty headache. The mum was fine about it but not sure why she didn’t think herself that it was too loud without strangers having to alert her to the fact! People seem less bothered by the world around them and often see no harm in doing exactly as they please with no thought to others!

I don't know why people continue to be so defensive about screens when it is increasingly clear that screen time is detrimental. I am not ashamed to admit that I have given my child a screen when out but only after they have been sitting for about an hour or so, actually usually colours in on it. The only shows she's allowed to watch are Bluey, alphablocks and numberblocks and the volume is always muted. Even then, I feel bad if she gets more than an hour during the day.

But the reality is tablets and phones are detrimental to us all, especially children, and the less time any of us spend on them the better.

P.S. For any defenders of Cocomelon, it is awful and designed to be addictive. Please research slow paced cartoons instead.

As long as the volume isn't too loud, it shouldn't be heard over conversation.

The thing is though, a restaurant meal is a much longer, drawn out affair than a family meal at home. Plus the stakes are a bit higher - if they start messing about they might disturb other diners which is obviously not on.

And it doesn’t have to escalate, it fact it’s definitely possible to scale it back as the child gets older. We used to bring colouring etc for our DS when he was a toddler / pre-schooler. He’s 6 now and happy to just join in the conversation and has the patience to wait between courses.

I agree with you OP. Whenever this topic comes up, there are always loads of replies saying 'my child is autistic etc.' but the vast majority of children aren't autistic, so it's fair to assume that most kids put in front of a screen at mealtimes are actually neurotypical. And in that case, it's just lazy parenting, because the alternative (interacting with your child) is too much effort for these parents.

Another excuse that is always trotted out is 'it's only for the duration of the meal'. But in my experience, if you see kids silenced by a screen when they're out and about, it's the parents' go-to method for keeping them quiet, and they will have hours of screen time every day.

Absolutely.

And make some compromises. If my children couldn't sit politely at a table in a restaurant, we didn't go. There is no point.

I couldn't give a shit if someone's kids are glued to a screen..not my kids, not my problem. I don't and will never allow my own kids to do it. What I do have a problem with though is those who decide it's acceptable to inflict peppa fucking pig or cocomelon or whatever other crap their kids are glued to on the rest of us by letting them watching it with the volume on.

I agree. I am definitely addicted and it’s got quite bad this past 3 years. As I’ve had a bit more time, working less I’ve filled it with my phone.

I do not allow iPads (generally speaking) in restaurants, however I do appreciate that everyone has their own reasons to do it. I would be mindful of the volume if it was my own child watching one hypothetically, I would not ask someone to turn their iPad down. I would never want anyone to feel ashamed of the decisions they make just to get through that meal.. yet it is sad to see how many children rely on technology these days just to get through the day! Just my opinion.

It’s actually not coco melon. It’s dancing fruit - google dancing fruit. My son loved them. But I have to say the music that accompanies it is really kind of annoying. Much much more annoying than anything like cocomelon and very very repetitive.

Books and colouring: the gateway drugs to devices. 😂

Is there a reason you can't talk to your child and engage with them instead of sticking them Infront of a screen?
I have three children, two of whom are autistic and have never used screens while we are eating ( doesn't matter if it's at home or out and about). Two are teenagers and one is four but even our four year old doesn't ask for a screen because he knows that's not what happens at meal times.
If you have to put your child Infront of a screen at least use headphones.

Frankly, using the "additional needs" shield for every topic like this, means lazy parenting of children without SEN just gets accepted. Yes, we should live and let live, but maybe we're missing opportunities to show new parents that this isn't the ideal/normal scenario for every neuro-typical kid.

On the flip side, diners need to accept that children without iPads are going to be taking up more "space" in the restaurant. Maybe they will stand up and walk around the table more, or speak loudly or maybe even whine.

Children need to learn the skills of waiting for food, having a conversation and generally being present in social situations. Parents need to do better at keeping their kids occupied with said conversation and little games and interactions. Sadly I think some parents lack social skills to the point, they barely know how to socialise with their own kids!

We used to enjoy taking some small puzzles out with us, or a sticker book. Now my DD is 10 (with ADHD i might add) we take a small card game or play eye-spy.

No screens at the table for us. The rule applies to everyone, including the adults, with the exception of photograph taking etc. When we go out to eat/pub we take toys/colouring in books etc. Our daughter is used to it, sometimes she gets bored but that's young children.

But if other parents want to allow their kids to turn into Ipad zombies I couldn't give a stuff. It'll be your problem later when you have a screen-addicted 10 year old.

I’d say they do need entertaining (or at least occupying) if you are waiting quite a while for food though. At home surely you wouldn’t expect them to sit at a table for an hour before eating?
We used to take a bit of colouring or stickers and a card game or play games like Granny went to market.
We also asked for the kids meals to come at the same time as the adults’ starters.
I can’t hand on heart say we never resorted to giving them our phones if they were fractious but it was never for long, always on silent and all entertainment’ was put away as soon as food arrived.
I used to (and still do!) enjoy eating out with my kids and feel like this is one aspect of parenting we did quite well at!

I do know quite a few families whose kids use iPads during all meals including at home. It’s like they are conditioned to not be able to eat without them. It’s a strange experience eating with them!

Saying all that I do think it’s fine for children with extra needs to use screens to either entertain or block out the environment. If it allows the parents to eat.

I don’t really understand the assumption that if you don’t give a kid a screen they’ll be running up and down the restaurant causing chaos or not allowing their parents to eat! I’m not the world’s best parent but ours have never had screens when out eating. We chat (verbal games like Would you Rather or I spy), sometimes play cards (Uno or quick games with a deck of cards), if the table is big enough they might draw or eg last night on a long overnight ferry journey my daughter wrote her diary and my son wrote the top ten things about the holiday we just had. Yes my husband and I don’t get loads of chance for adult chat but I wouldn’t expect that necessarily when taking kids out to eat with us. And my son is autistic.

It is my unpopular opinion that a very high percentage of adults are addicted their phones. I myself, have noticed with alarm, that if I sit down in the evening and do not have my phone next to me, I can't relax. Ten years ago, this would not have bothered me in the slightest. I absolutely hate it and I wonder whether this has anything to do with my attention span being almost non-existent these days. I'm not a social media addict, I'm more an information addict and have to be looking up things constantly. I also run a business which requires multiple checking of data on a daily basis.
If I'm watching TV (or more often YouTube) I have noticed that as soon as an ad break comes on, I reach for my phone as I can't stand the 2? mins of boredom.
I have terrible text neck pain from scrolling, but my laptop isn't with me as much as my phone.
I don't look at my phone when out socially and nor do my children (now adults). It's a massive 21st century problem we all need to address. How, I'm not quite sure. I'd happily go back to my Nokia un-smart phone, but how to do business with that?

Noisy tech is annoying but so is the crass boasting on this thread.

Is this a reverse?
I DON’T like hearing tinny repetitive annoying music while I am eating my meal that I have paid for in a public shared space so if your DS can’t eat without an iPad maybe he should eat at home.

Your pathetic. Keep your nose out of other peoples business

Right, so if someone was doing something that your DS hated and was disturbing him, you’d just leave them to GET ON WITH IT? Course you would. 🙄

I work in a public place, the number of DC following their parents holding a screen is uncanny.
Makes me sad as surely DC fail to engage with their environment and getting a sense of direction.

But eating out isn’t the same as at home. Last Sunday eating out, we waited 45 minutes for our food to come. It’s a big ask for children to sit there all that time.

Whilst i semi agree we can’t put all kids under the same umbrella- my nt child I say yes sitting quietly for 5 mins won’t kill you, my most likely nd toddler needs help to manage new situations that cause immense stress and anxiety