"Ipad Kid" ??

This is why I never eat out with my son.
He has complex needs and his iPad keeps him grounded in social situations.

I'm sure you would have something to say if the child was rolling on the floor crying because they felt so overwhelmed.

It's easier for us to stay at home than deal with judgement from others.
At the end of the day you don't know their circumstances or situation.

One size doesn't fit all. Every child is different and has different needs. Yes to less technology and more engagement when possible but iPads have their uses too. I remember those really stressful meals out and you were on the clock. Knowing your child would be fine for 20/30 mins and then everything would go wrong. The stress of waiting to order, hoping to put your order straight in but it taking 20mins to be served etc. The children's food being brought out first and then 15mins later you get yours, they are finished and bored, getting upset and you're shovelling food down your throat. My husband getting cross & embarrassed cause they are causing a scene and saying let's just leave and you've had 3 mouthfuls. Some posters will say, just don't go but you go on holiday and you need to eat or they were fine the last time but this time they are easily upset for one of a million reasons they can't tell you. We try to avoid technology, bring books, colours but sometimes when they are finished eating my 5 year old will go on my phone and play (usually an educational game) a game on topmarks. My daughter has always been really good at playing, amusing herself but there were some sweat inducing moments in restaurants when she was 2/3 and peppa pig was popped infront of her so we could have 10mins to eat. A lot of older people judge because it wasn't necessary in their day but that's because the technology wasn't available. They may have made different choices if their child was kicking off and they had a magical device in their pocket which would buy them 10mins peace. We also need to stop comparing child, what works for yours won't necessarily work for another. I obviously do agree with turning the sound down.

I think it depends what kind of place it was. I think it's more unreasonable if it was a nice restaurant in an evening versus a cafe or pub in the daytime. They should use headphones but there could be reasons why they can't.

It’s hideous. Constantly seeing gormless babies and toddlers glued to iPhones on trains, in cafes and just on walks. What happened to babies looking at the world around them? Useless parenting.

@Tbrh you think society is more tolerant towards dc now?

@TY78910 exactly, parents have never been expected to parent so much these days vs the past.

How on earth do my children cope without them in restaurants? 😂 Like I did- they have a colouring book and actually talk to their family. I have taught them questions to ask others to show interest, and they understand recent news to share, things they’ve been doing, etc.

At 1 they were making polite chit chat? 😆

I don't know if that's a good excuse to be honest as really you want to try and engage children with autism to have conversation not stifle them even more.

Disagree so much with this. My 3yo was even more well behaved when they were 2. Especially as they're usually sitting in a high chair and curious to eat different food and watch what's happening around them. Most kids are actually like this from what I've observed when out. Mine was a covid baby too.

to add: things that were acceptable ‘back in the day’ but no parent would allow now (basically leaving your kid to their own devices while you do anything but spend time with them) - but how dare someone give a kid an iPad for a little while in a restaurant.

https://www.countryliving.com/life/kids-pets/g4906/things-60s-kids-did-that-would-horrify-us-now/

I agree we set the expectation that our daughter would behave and she rose to the challenge. We took the opportunity to chat as a family

People just don't want to be around loud, annoying kids. Nothing wrong with that. I have a 3yo who behaves well most of the time as do most kids I see and they don't need screens to do it

Couldn’t agree more!

YANBU for thinking this way (I don’t disagree with you - it’s an important part of socialisation, learning manners and to be present etc), and to be irritated by the noise too. However, I personally think YABU for saying/doing something about it. You can’t be sure of their individual circumstances - it could be the first time they’ve let them do that at a meal for a treat or to console them after a bad experience… I don’t know, I’m clutching at examples, but the point I’m making is you just don’t know.

Agree. Or - just as bad as kids making noise - mothers actively engaging with them, aka "performance parenting". There is no acceptable way to exist in public with young children.

When my dc were much younger I would sometimes allow an ipad so we could eat in peace. As they get older they were no longer needed.

i respect that some kids might have a need for such a device to help them cope with being in an overstimulating environment but I also think a lot of people nowadays are just obnoxious and don’t care who they’re bothering. If it were just he odd autistic person (1% of society) doing this it would be no problem but the masses of other people jumping on the bandwagon just because they feel they can now makes it hard to not get irate at everyone.

I was once on a 5 hour train journey. A group of 4 men got on together and chatted/had a laugh for the first 2 hours and when they ran out of steam they all retired to opposite corners of the carriage and put TV shows/football on their iPads FULL BLAST. I was sleep deprived, grumpy and had a sleeping baby so gave them all shit and guess what they all had headphones and put them on, they just initially felt totally at ease with ruining everyone else’s train trip.

I feel sorry for parents of autistic kids, general society’s patience for noise like this is probably at an all time low because of obnoxious non autistic twats doing what they like.

Many primary schools use screens now...

yep

Primary school?

@happyhermione agree

No screens at school

My dc have a Chromebook at school...

iPads shouldn't be loud but I wouldn't assume a snapshot is reflective of how a family are.

This again 🙄
9/10 times we will entertain DC with colouring / games whatever you have it. There is always that one time where they go ballistic, running around crazy in a busy restaurant, no attempt to drag them back to sit still and distract with an activity work (especially when they were in that 2-3 yo stage), so iPad it was. 1, so we could eat yeah, but two so they don’t run in to a waiter with a tray full of hot food, or trip and smash their head on the corner of the table, or violate someone else’s space. Wish people would stop judging a snapshot in time and saying parents are lazy. Sometimes you just need to slap a plaster on.

No wonder school early years setting are reporting so many issues with children unable to concentrate and self regulate their emotions.

No screens at school. How long before parents start demanding that their child should be allowed access to a screen in primary school.