"Ipad Kid" ??

If you give your child an iPad your judged (my son rarely has his and even then it’s games we play with him) and your accused of competitive parenting if you dare to engage with your child! So what do ever you do someone is going to judge.

im my sons mum and I will do what’s best and what works for my son- and no he doesn’t have noisy iPads and he never has mine or his dads phones.

Are you trolling? He’s 4. This is unreasonable. Either use headphones or eat at home.

What about others in society who find the noise of 10 different devices overwhelming? Are they not as important? Surely there needs to be so kind of balance

That’s exactly what I remembered as a child. Going to Pizza Hut and playing with siblings or talking to my mum. I’m sure we were loud as kids can be but we still have fond memories looking back.

They were getting used to sitting and being spoken to, to being shown things and interacted with. And given opportunities to get up from the table for fresh air or whatever if they needed it (fully supervised and not in a way that would put him or anyone else at risk)

It's not either or with an ipad though?

Yep I'm with you, OP. Leave the nippers at home with a babysitter if they can't get through a meal without disturbing everyone else..How did people survive pre iPads ?

@Tbrh I'm just a little bit younger but a Londoner so maybe more access. We had things like Pizza Hut etc but 100% things my parents, other adults did would not be the norm these days.

@happyhermione one of mine sounds like yours. Now I have to argue with him about not reading at the table or that he really does need downtime after hours of sport.

If this is a real post then what you are missing is that the reason they are playing up is due to the blue light from the screen

Yes, I would say so looking back.

Child of the 80s, 41. It may have just been my parents didn't go to restaurants anyway, but I don't really remember this as a thing. We never got in trouble for playing, but did if someone acted out (usually that cousin! I had two cousins from two different aunts who were really badly behaved)

In my our case, They were getting used to sitting and being spoken to, to being shown things and interacted with. And given opportunities to get up from the table for fresh air or whatever if they needed it (fully supervised and not in a way that would put him or anyone else at risk). And if it was really too overwhelming, we paid attention and removed him from a situation he wasn't able to cope with, without disrupting everyone else.

Sadly, my cousin was naughty, spoilt and turned into a terrible adult unfortunately. Actually ended up in prison briefly. Sorry to bring the mood down, didn't expect to share that!

Were the parents to blame?

@Tbrh how old are you? I went to restaurants as a dc and we often went off and played which would be really frowned upon now days. I was never admonished by a stranger but did see it happen to other dc but no one got in trouble for playing.

Couldn’t agree more. My DSS is autistic (quite noticeably in public given that he has a near constant vocal stim) and at his mom’s house it’s screens galore. Here we didn’t even own a TV until a few months ago and the kids almost never watch it (special film days only). He had learned to read, pored over books and plays endlessly with his toys, he doesn’t need the screen.

Maybe re-read the post you quoted.

At no point did I say my kids were watching anything. It's an example of a child using a screen on mute as a tool in order to facilitate their social interactions, and therefore of how not all screentime is "brain rotting" and "stunting development" as was suggested.

@DefinitelyMaybe92
I imagine if their child was fussing you would have said something then too, yes?

and this point is bang on the money ^

we were travelling by tube yesterday for about 45mins. DD chatting away, took a special interest in station signs (the London red circles with station names on them) and was really loud and excited “OH LOOK ANOTHER ONE”, then playing eye spy - and the eye rolls from passengers who had no time for this were so passive aggressively noticeable it was almost laughable. But the same people would likely make a thread like this if I gave her her iPad.

Sure, not all kids are naughty. Sadly, my cousin was naughty, spoilt and turned into a terrible adult unfortunately. Actually ended up in prison briefly. Sorry to bring the mood down, didn't expect to share that! 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's an interesting admission; I find most people (I work with the general public on a daily basis), with whom the eg. Facebook topic is brought up, always try and admonish themselves with "well I only use", (insert personal excuse for over using said SM platform), as if they, too, agree everyone else is at fault. My guess is we are ALL complicit in some way; I'm in over 200 groups on FB 🤷‍♀️

As other posters have said, the problem is we live in a world that’s really quite intolerant to children these days. One half of the population smugly protest against having children in such a turbulent world, and suggest anyone doing so is irresponsible, and the other half are people who have had their own children and seem to have forgotten what it was like, so “tisk tisk, tut tut” and judge away at any given opportunity. Parents feel that judgement and they feel under pressure, so I can appreciate how some may take, what they deem to be, the “easy way out” to keep their child entertained/quiet. Hard to win really! Like I say, I don’t like iPads myself, and it’s not something I would choose, but I empathise with the parents who do. I imagine if their child was fussing you would have said something then too, yes?

edit: Big yes to the headphones btw. But by the sounds of your post, that wasn’t your only gripe.

Like I said, how much screen time you let your kids have and what you let them watch is nothing to do with me. I don't care. But when you're out in public, the sound should be off. Not turned down. Off.

Irony? Trolling? Whatever, don't expect other people to fall in line with you and your child. Get him used to headphones.

I wouldn’t frame it as well behaved or naughty @Tbrh. They’re not mini adults - they’re kids. My daughter can stare at nothing in her pushchair with zero interaction from me. She’ll stare glassy eyed out of buses and just sort of zone out.

Our boy needs loads more interaction and chat so I’m always the dickhead on the bus saying ‘how many ducks can we count’ yada yada. I’m definitely the performance parent everyone moans about here. It’s exhausting but he’s not at all naughty. That’s unfair. In fact his preschool nursery say he’s compliant and they’re concerned he’s quiet. He clearly saves it all for us and his mates. It’s nothing to do with covid - it’s his personality. He’s just a chatter box, walked super early and needed stimulation. He can read for hours now but wouldn’t at two. He could never sit still in a swing either. Kids are just different. We haven’t used screens and I only mentioned covid because had we’d been restaurant-going types I’d have definitely chucked him my phone. He’s four now and wouldn’t need a screen

I’m not going to sugar coat this as I’m sick to death of listening to everyone else’s noise.

People walking around talking with phones on loud speaker & expecting everyone else to listen to their conversation.

Or listening to phones / videos on loudspeaker.

Controversial I know…… But sticking your kid in front of a screen is such lazy parenting on their part. If you can’t be arsed interacting with your own child and would rather stick them in front of the electronic babysitter then for the love of god put headphones on them. Absolutely no one wants to listen to your kids electronic noise.

And for those who trot out the autistic card - my view is absolutely the same. What do you think people did before screens? They talked to their child, interacted with them and entertained them.

It’s absolutely not unacceptable at all to politely ask them to pop some headphones in or turn the noise off.

As a society this sadly seems to have become the norm. People thinking that their ‘wants’ trump everyone else’s. Let’s not normalise this - it’s bad manners, a lack self-awareness and lack of consideration for others.

I would say so, I never went to a restaurant when I was a child, but I take my DC to them (I go early). People also used to tell you off if you were naughty when I was a kid. I was well behaved, but my cousin was a terror and he always got in trouble