Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

But in your husband’s family, as shown by THIS thread AND your thread about your dh not acknowledging Mother’s Day…. NOT your husband’s family!!

I think you can be a bit annoyed by the behaviour but is it worth falling out over?

Forget about it and keep the relationship intact for your husband.

If they have a celebration you don't need to give a gift!

Op your thread about your husband never acknowledging his mother on Mother’s Day…. Maybe this is just how that family roll?!

While I can understand your sil being late was not a great look for anyone, it sounds like she had something inportant to do and it could not be re-arranged.

As for gifts I think it depends on culture, if you have been together years and had kids etc and then getting married I can see why no one would bother with gifts. But usually if someone is new to the family and you are welcoming them in, then atleast a token gift is given. My husband and I received Hugo Boss matching watches for him and her from his younger sister and bil. My sister got me diamond and gold jewellery which I wore for one of the wedding functions and she gave us £1500 towards our honeymoon as a joint gift. Though we just wanted our siblings present, the gift was an added extra.

I wouldn't have thought this was a wedding reception. A wedding reception is the event after the ceremony, directly after.

You chose not to have a wedding reception because you eloped so you organised a party when you got back.

I don't think people should be expected to bring a present either. Same with a baby shower, anniversary or such. If people want to great for you but they shouldn't be picked at for not doing so.

You say her and her brother aren’t close? You said they don’t even talk?

So why she even invited?

And if they aren’t even remotely close why would you get all pissed off that she only got you a card?

You need to let this go OP.

This is so insanely trivial that I can’t believe you are focusing on it so much.

I haven’t RTFT, just your posts, OP, but some observations from someone whose husband’s family does things differently (from 20 years in). Don’t sweat it.

I’ve no idea why you were the only one writing thank you cards, but leave his family to him. You won’t get them to be the way you want them to or to fawn over you as you appear to want. My sister and I hadn’t spoken for 5 years when my DH and I got together. I’d not have welcomed him meddling in something that was nothing to do with him. Similarly, his family don’t send cards for birthdays etc, even to children, and resenting that wouldn’t have made any difference whatsoever.

If you were given any wedding money, Mel Robbins’ book “Let Them” would be a good use of some of it.

Duoh, her sister in law isn't the nit picker, the bridezilla is finding fault. Just like you.
So glad you're not my sister in law. Mine are lovely.

Were you invited to the full wedding in Devon? Ceremony, reception, evening do? If so, then they invested money in their guests' experience and the gifts would reflect that. If you've only invested in a party for your guests, I think that would probably be reflected in the gifts (or lack thereof).
Plus, house sales are big deals, and they did come. Let it go.

Could it be a sign of her disorganisation/lack of funds, rather than a comment on you?

I am jealous of you living close to a beach!!

It’s not just a party - to you.
It is to everyone else. Your party was your priority, selling their house is theirs. You have lost perspective in this and should be focused on this special time in your life with your husband.
That people have come to celebrate this with you is the gift to you - you’ve got this all wrong.
And actually I felt this way about my own wedding - I didn’t expect gifts.
I remember a friend of mine having a very small private wedding in the UK to keep costs down. then feeling she’d missed out (her words) and throwing a party a month afterwards to celebrate. I was astonished and actually annoyed when she sent a wedding gift list along with the invitation…
ive been to other parties in similar circumstances and she was the only person to send registry details! It’s not classy at all - his sister may be feeling quite put out to have been excluded from your wedding. She may have felt you sent a statement about where she sat in the order of things and that her attendance wasn’t important. Maybe she received that sent message and has reprioritused you and your party
Your wedding, your way, but you need to understand that when we make choices about how we want to host our wedding, that comes with feedback - we cannot have it both ways.
As someone who had a hard start to their married life with all sorts of family wedding drama, I would strongly advise you that this is not a hill to die on. Focus on what you have, the blessing of your marriage and this beautiful part of your life. Be grateful that they graciously came when they clearly have a lot going on and leave it alone.

Beach walk will really do you good

what about with your new husband too?!

Op I recall you on your thread about your DH never bothering to buy his mother a Mother’s Day card or even acknowledging it.

Could it be that buying gifts for one another etc isn’t a particularly normal thing for your husband’s side of the family? And there’s nothing wrong with that at all

BIL and SIL eloped and had a wedding party a month later. It would never have occurred to me that family photos would be taken at a party. Did you tell your SIL this beforehand? It’s very unusual.

Your comment wasn't offensive at all - it merely put another PoV in a polite and meaningful way (it's a pity some others on here can't do this).

Op how are things generally in your life? What do you have planned today? You are a newly wed and it’s a bank holiday weekend and yet here you are bashing away on your thread about a perceived slight at your wedding reception days ago

So, you know they're not close. In fact they're so far from close that you actively avoided a wedding they could participate in, choosing instead to marry quietly and throw a party for your friends, which you included them in primarily because you were obliged.
All fine if your husband has his reasons. However, if that's the way it is, the other side of the coin is his sister is not going to act like your party is more important than her house sale, buy you a gift and arrive expecting to be a central figure in a family photo.
Clearly you have married into a family where relationships are not optimum. The best thing for a pleasant life is to accept that and manage your expectations. Because wading into the fray with your own grievances against your in laws is only going to fuel the fire and make relationships worse between your husband and his folks.
I've seen it many times. Fragile family relationships made ten times more stressful by partners joining in with their own complaints and egging their spouse on to greater disgruntlement. It causes so much unnecessary drama and makes the partner with the poor family relationship feel worse.

I think that the posts saying that you are being unreasonable need not be interpreted as snide or unkind. They are trying to stop you from setting yourself up for a lifetime of conflict with your in laws; and trying to encourage you to look at the wonderful positives of your situation.

I think you should let it go completely and put it out of your mind.