Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

I think you are really overestimating how important your wedding is to other people.

I think a lot of people fall into the trap of assuming other people care as much, especially if you have an overexcited mum etc.

It was not the viewing as an event that they have prioritised, but the chance to secure a more suitable home for their children to live in day after day, year after year.

I imagined you as someone who is early 20s without much experience of life and felt like perhaps people needed to remember being young and unaware of life's challenges. If you are older that makes it worse...the world does not revolve around you!

And as for the moaning about not getting a present, you didn't even invite them to the actual wedding for goodness sake.

No wonder they give you and your hubby a wide berth! You sound more self obsessed with each post.

I agree I was really shocked someone would dream of using that as an excuse to be late to a pre arranged wedding celebration. I am also surprised by the number of people supporting the SIL.

And I doubt they’ll care either way op

perhaps won’t even notice

And truthfully even a wedding is only very important to those getting married. To everyone else it's just a nice day and they carry on with their lives.

What? That you can’t grasp that both your husband towards his mother
and his sister towards him

have a different view on gifting to you?!

you still haven’t grasped it op. So…. Yeah,
I’ll mention again

did you get on that beach walk?

Wasn't a wedding though - was it? It was a party.

Have you ever tried to sell a house, particularly if you are in a chain and it's holding together by a prayer.

Honestly, they don't sound self absorbed they sound busy raising a family and trying to move house.

You sound very invested in your wedding, which is lovely, but expecting people to pass up on the opportunity to sell their home (and it's a buyers market, if you don't accommodate the viewers you will miss out, to go to the party celebrating a wedding you weren't even invited is being a diva. They are prioritising securing a more suitable home for the family for many years over a party lasting a few hours. Of course the did the right thing.

I suspect that as you navigate children, house moves etc in the future you will look back and feel a little silly.

Well you already signaled to her that she doesn’t matter to you!

maybe she has deliberately snubbed your party in response to how you’ve made her feel or maybe she just didn’t realise it was a big deal seen as you were already married.

we won’t know but stop trying to guess and just work on having a good relationship going forward.

Is this the same husband who doesn’t even acknowledge his mother on Mother’s Day op, which also upsets you

why can’t you grasp that his family dynamic is simply different re gifting!!

I think you’ve just identified a gap in the market !!

”OMG she didn’t get you a moving card when you moved. The utter bitch”
You are very bold @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne
😂😂😂

Let us know when it happens and I’ll send you a divorce-iversary card

Your last post, OP, really indicated that for you, physical gifts and cards, are indeed a 'love language' for you. For people who don't feel that way it can come as a surprise. There's nothing wrong with how you feel, they're your feelings but it sounds as if you've married into a family for whom cards/gifts are not that important.

I have a friend who is madly into cards. She likes them for any reason, any event and, as someone who is not like that, I have to make a huge effort to write down the event somewhere so that there's a chance I'll remember to send her a card. I draw the line at 'dog's birthday' but I suppose if you (general) care about someone then you get to know them and their little ways - and you both make efforts to fit together.

Do you have a relationship with your husband's sister? It sounds as if he doesn't have a close one with her himself and that has put your set-up on an immediate distance and disadvantage.

I agree with posters about wedding ceremonies, if they're important enough to celebrate then the people important to you would be there. It may be that there's a new tradition of insular ceremonies with separate, extended parties, becoming the norm but it's not quite there yet.

i would try not to take this to heart and let your relationship with your new in-law family evolve; give a bit, take a bit, understand a lot and see how it goes. Best to you.

You're newly married, you're focusing on the wrong thing!

It’s really hard selling a house, and as it wasn’t our ceremony, I don’t mind being late for this.

Really? You don't mind?
That's odd, because in your OP you say:

"The reason she arrived late (along with her husband and two young daughters) is because they had a last minute viewing on their house.

AIBU to feel hurt and insulted by this?

Make your mind up! You actually started this thread to complain about her being late for your party.

............................ but she’s very insular, and doesn’t seem that interested in us. She’s just not involved in our lives. Didn’t get a moving card when we moved

OMG she didn't get you a moving card when you moved. The utter bitch.

I'm not surprised you didn't invite her to your wedding.

Can't help thinking @PalmTreeAngel if you wanted them in the pictures, you would have invited them to the actual ceremony?

Let it go. Maybe they’re short of money at the moment. They didn’t miss the ceremony they were a bit late for a party. Life is too short and it’s unpleasant to have a wedge between siblings .