Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

I'd let it go and ignore her.

I think you were the one not sending a great message by not inviting close family to your actual wedding.
The main event was the wedding itself, a party later on is just that, a party.
Did you tell SiL in advance that you were planning family photos at the start) or before the start)?
Timings of parties don’t usually work quite so precisely as timings for weddings- so I wouldn’t be surprised for people to still be turning up an hour after the start. It’s not like you have to be there for a service which starts on the dot.
I think you should think long term, this is your husbands sister and hopefully you’ll have a life long relationship with her. Don’t be holding grudges, it will work against you in the long run, even if you do think you’re in the right. Think about how you may have upset family, how they might think you’re not that bothered about them, and consider how you can improve things going forward.

Yes this, she was late and didn't get you a present and? So what, people don't live in a box you put them in

I wouldn't have expected any gifts in your shoes. Also, the lateness thing... to a (reception) party? Meh.

Let it go, you will have bigger things to worry about in life.

We only give gifts if we are invited to the actual ceremony. If we don’t make the cut, then let them buy their own vouchers.

I wish I could write about nothing this well

I absolutely agree - I just think op doesn’t see it that way. . I was trying to hope she could see it in a different light .

Not these days. It’s usually a destination hen do, followed by elopement, then reception party later on to ensure that those people you didn’t want at your actual wedding aren’t so pissed off that they don’t buy you a present. As evidenced by OP’s breathtaking sense of entitlement.

Would you go to a party without a gift?

Who raised you?

You had a wedding elsewhere. Then you had a party (aka gift grab) at a later date and expected everyone who was not invited and did not go to your wedding to bring you wedding gifts.

Guuuuurl.

Let it go. You got to live as a extended family. You already married so just a party not a wedding.

I get it and I feel for you. I wouldn't be happy about it either, if my new SIL showed up an hour late for my wedding reception, which also messed up the photo session, and also only brought a card. That's a deluxe package of rudeness.

I wouldn't say anything though or ask my husband to. She's already stated why she was late so all that would be left to say is "Where's my present?" Which would be funny and she probably deserves it but I don't think it would make you and your new husband look very good lol!

Also, it could be that she left the gift at home, ordered something that didn't arrive on time or meant to put a gift card in with the wedding card. In other words, it could always be a mistake or your gift could still arrive.

But as we see here, people often see things very differently. So while you obviously consider a wedding reception that's separate from the wedding that most of the guests weren't invited to is every bit as valid as a reception immediately following the wedding, with everyone invited to both. However, many other people don't view it that way at all. They might feel dismissed to not have been invited to the wedding or they might truly consider it somewhere in between a party and a true wedding reception.

The sister trying to sell her house is apparently very important to her. All around, I could see her truly not knowing she's done anything that anyone would take offense at.

Also, sometimes there's weird jealousy among siblings. It's also possible a slight was intended but that it wasn't directed at you. Maybe she feels like her parents favor her brother and she's not considered important enough in their family. Or her life might not be going very well and she's taking a little swipe at you and your husbandn's happiness.

Or she could just be a rather self-centered and thoughtless person.

Anyway, I think the best course of action at this point is to just keep an eye on her. I wouldn't doubt if you'll get a more full understanding of what this was all about in time.

More importantly, best wishes with your new marriage!

How much time elapsed between your actual wedding and your 'wedding reception party'?

Sounds like you had a lovely wedding and party so I wouldn't even bother thinking about it anymore OP.

Absolutely nothing can he achieved by griping about it.

So they arrived late, no problem if there is a valid reason. What is there reason for no present? Did you invite them once the party had started? Even then they could have gone on Amazon and got something. They are idiots

It wasn’t your wedding though, it was a party.
People tend to arrive from a specific time at parties, not all at once on the dot.

YABU to be upset about a gift. A gift is a nice thought, it’s not an expected thing imo.

@Starlightstarbright4It wasn't her wedding or an evening reception. It was a party held after they got back home from their marriage abroad.

Your SIL has two children and is trying to sell her house, do you think she might have had more on her mind than buying you a present?
As others have said it wasn't a wedding and even if it was it's not illegal to not give a present.
Still, as your DH agrees with you, you are well suited. Both of you are grabby and entitled.
Out of interest what do you actually want your DH to say to his sister? You didn't buy me a gift for my party after I got married so go and get me one now!

Ah, I obviously missed that.

😐 you sound entitled and spoilt. Why on earth would you care about gifts?

If this was an actual wedding, it would be fair to be so upset. For a party, the same seriousness does not apply.

It is vulgar and grasping to expect presents. By all means, be very grateful to those who gifted you things, but to expect presents? Am I missing something?

This wasn't a wedding though.

So, sit down meal, top table, speeches, evening buffet, cake cutting? That sort of thing?

Most people would buy a wedding present for a sibling regardless of where or how they got married. And turning up an hour late is rude. Is it worth mentioning? Probably not. If they're that self centred you won't change them.