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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

671 replies

PalmTreeAngel · 19/04/2025 20:54

We had our wedding reception party a week ago, and my husband’s sister not only arrived late… but she only got us a card and no gift. Meanwhile, I’ve received very nice gifts from new colleagues I’ve met from work and my mum’s friends.

The reason she arrived late (along with her husband and two young daughters) is because they had a last minute viewing on their house.

AIBU to feel hurt and insulted by this?

I have tried talking to my husband about this, but he just shrugs it off. He feels similar to me, but won’t do anything about it or say anything to her. I think he ought to say something, but that’s me. They’re a very avoidant family, but I like to raise how I feel with others (with the hopes that we work through it of course).

OP posts:
tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:49

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:47

Perhaps you could “take some time” to do something a bit better than targeting me as per usual? I’ve said time and time again to kindly back away please. Yet, you’re ignoring me.

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Ok op

I mean…. If you read back I’m just asking you to consider a different family dynamic

but that seems quite alien and offensive to you

ItTook9Years · 20/04/2025 16:48

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:43

I have mentioned him in many of my messages.

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Eventually.

As I said earlier, you won’t change his family. I have next to no interest in DH’s siblings (we live 5 hours away and have learned that the roads only seem to go in one direction for them) so DH manages all communication. I could have driven myself mad fuming at all of the things they did and didn’t do that I doing annoying, but what would be the point?

Just get your expectations sorted ahead of any babies.

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:47

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:46

Not really. Teens are cleaning up post Easter lunch!

personal? Just pointing out you seem to have been very alone and very angry today

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Perhaps you could “take some time” to do something a bit better than targeting me as per usual? I’ve said time and time again to kindly back away please. Yet, you’re ignoring me.

OP posts:
Boreded · 20/04/2025 16:47

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:10

The op has just pm-ed to say I’m bullying her

when all I’m saying is…. The OP’s husband’s side of the family (including her own husband!!) have a different approach to gifting and she should respect that

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Wooooooowwwwwww as if…imagine sliding into someone’s DMs just because they don’t agree with you.

clearly thinks she is the centre of everyone’s universe, even randoms on mumsnet.

its a party, nobody cares. Also, why should a sister gift at a ‘wedding’? I didn’t expect mine to gift, and actually when I think about it I don’t know that she did, wouldn’t cross my mind to be upset

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:46

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:44

You’re very personal @tooksometime do you not have anything better to do?

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Not really. Teens are cleaning up post Easter lunch!

personal? Just pointing out you seem to have been very alone and very angry today

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:44

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:44

And today the op went for a beach walk with a friend

a conspicuously absent new husband

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You’re very personal @tooksometime do you not have anything better to do?

OP posts:
tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:44

ItTook9Years · 20/04/2025 16:41

And yet your first few so posts were all “I” and “my”. No mention of your husband.

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And today the op went for a beach walk with a friend

a conspicuously absent new husband

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:43

ItTook9Years · 20/04/2025 16:41

And yet your first few so posts were all “I” and “my”. No mention of your husband.

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I have mentioned him in many of my messages.

OP posts:
Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:43

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:41

Yes it is - for such a special occasion I can’t imagine celebrating with people I didn’t know.

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That’s nice, but apparently this isn’t a wedding or a wedding reception, it’s just a party according to many people on here.

OP posts:
ItTook9Years · 20/04/2025 16:41

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

I invited them because they are my husband’s family @Parker231 My husband is disappointed in her. It’s another nail in the coffin of what is a distant relationship. I feel for him.

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And yet your first few so posts were all “I” and “my”. No mention of your husband.

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:41

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:37

Good for you.

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Yes it is - for such a special occasion I can’t imagine celebrating with people I didn’t know.

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:37

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:34

We had 300 at our wedding but I knew them all as did DH. None of them were strangers to me or DH.

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Good for you.

OP posts:
ForOliveMember · 20/04/2025 16:36

This thread is very frustrating. You keep changing your tune OP, first you were annoyed they were late but then you said you actually didn't mind that.

You say your husband isn't even close with his sister and only sees her a few times a year, you say you don't think much of her. She didn't send a card when you moved house etc

In my eyes, she came. She celebrated with you on your special party, she got you a card.

If she had refused to come at all or cancelled at the last minute I'd agree it would be disappointing and rude but she wasn't.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/04/2025 16:35

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:31

Husband’s work colleague & friend

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Did they give you a present?

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:34

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:31

Husband’s work colleague & friend

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We had 300 at our wedding but I knew them all as did DH. None of them were strangers to me or DH.

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:31

CleverButScatty · 20/04/2025 16:29

Oh stop being such a drama llama!
You are not the lead character in a soap opera 😂

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🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:31

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:27

You said - one whom you’d never met before?

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Husband’s work colleague & friend

OP posts:
CleverButScatty · 20/04/2025 16:29

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

I invited them because they are my husband’s family @Parker231 My husband is disappointed in her. It’s another nail in the coffin of what is a distant relationship. I feel for him.

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Oh stop being such a drama llama!
You are not the lead character in a soap opera 😂

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:27

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

they are not strangers, they are work colleagues and friends.

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You said - one whom you’d never met before?

ForOliveMember · 20/04/2025 16:27

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

they are not strangers, they are work colleagues and friends.

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You said you never met one of them?

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:24

Why invite strangers to your party?

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they are not strangers, they are work colleagues and friends.

OP posts:
Annascaul · 20/04/2025 16:25

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:15

Why are you still here, honestly? Do you think you are helping? Is there someone else you can bother?

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Anyone would think these posters had waylaid you in the street to force their opinions on you, rather than you having asked for them 😁
Nobody agrees with you, op. You’ll kind of have to accept that.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/04/2025 16:25

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:24

Why invite strangers to your party?

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Well, quite.

People don't invite random strangers to their weddings, do they?

Original poster
PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:25

Parker231 · 20/04/2025 16:19

So why are you so bothered about them being late to your party and not bringing a gift? Why did you invite them?

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I invited them because they are my husband’s family @Parker231 My husband is disappointed in her. It’s another nail in the coffin of what is a distant relationship. I feel for him.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/04/2025 16:24

PalmTreeAngel · 20/04/2025 16:15

And I don’t rate them either…

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So why the fuss about them turning up late?

Why did you invite them at all?

According to you, your "wedding party" is as important as an actual wedding reception.

I've actually never heard of this sort of party.

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