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Original poster

Maintain friendship with friend sending nudes to a married man?

36 replies

WinterKitchen · 19/04/2025 20:42

I don't know if AIBU is the right place for this but I guess am I unreasonable to continue a friendship with this friend. She has always said she deplores cheating because her husband left her for someone else. Now she's developed several online relationships with men one of whom is married. They share naked pictures and videos of themselves in sex positions masturbating. I've seen pictures that have been doctored to look like they're on a bed together naked when they aren't really. They're traumatising!!!

I remember when a mutual friend had a brief relationship with a married man and she was very judgemental after what happened with her husband cheating. Now she's doing this and says she doesn't care about this man's wife, it's harmless and besides she doesn't fancy him anyway.

I can't get my head around it.

OP posts:
CalicoPusscat · 19/04/2025 20:54

She doesn't sound like she's in a good state but you're perfectly within your rights to tell her you don't want to see or hear and don't approve

Original poster
WinterKitchen · 19/04/2025 20:51

@Arlanymor I detest cheating. Apparently so does she but then does this sort of thing!

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 19/04/2025 20:48

She’s using your reactions to drive up the “illicit” feel of her actions: don’t give her any reaction and I’d avoid from now on

Original poster
WinterKitchen · 19/04/2025 20:48

whitewineandsun · 19/04/2025 20:47

She has zero boundaries with anyone. I'd be stepping back. It's OK to judge her for this behaviour.

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I just read another thread where someone replied to the OP saying that the woman they were talking about thinks with her fanny. This is just the same.

OP posts:
ejmog · 19/04/2025 20:48

I left a friendship as she started dating married men , I have lots of values I don't share with friends . We agree to disagree but this is a step to far . If you don't care about other women should I care about you?

whitewineandsun · 19/04/2025 20:47

WinterKitchen · 19/04/2025 20:45

Yes, and yes. I'm judgemental apparently.

Show quote history

She has zero boundaries with anyone. I'd be stepping back. It's OK to judge her for this behaviour.

Cynic17 · 19/04/2025 20:47

She is your friend. You may not approve of her behaviour, but that's not a reason to ditch her. Just agree not to discuss this aspect of her life.
She may need you for support, if/when things go wrong.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 20:46

Well it’s two questions isn’t it. Firstly do you want to be friends with someone who SHOWS you these photos? I wouldn’t. I’ve seen friends bodies because of surgical issues or breast cancer scares but never in the context you have described. That’s so disgusting and I would have already bailed on that ‘friendship’.

But also what are your morals around cheating? It doesn’t really matter what your friend thinks - she’s doing what she wants anyway - where do you draw the line? Work out what is acceptable to you and then act on it. Two of my best friends are the best man and his wife from my wedding - because my ex husband cheating and they made the choice to distance themselves from him.

CreationNat1on · 19/04/2025 20:46

She sounds immature, entitled, attention drain, not a friend.

Original poster
WinterKitchen · 19/04/2025 20:45

JacquesHarlow · 19/04/2025 20:44

I've seen pictures that have been doctored to look like they're on a bed together naked when they aren't really. They're traumatising!!!

why have you seen these pictures, did she volunteer to show you?

Have you replied and told her your displeasure upon seeing them?

Yes, and yes. I'm judgemental apparently.

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 19/04/2025 20:44

I've seen pictures that have been doctored to look like they're on a bed together naked when they aren't really. They're traumatising!!!

why have you seen these pictures, did she volunteer to show you?

Have you replied and told her your displeasure upon seeing them?