I am being made to feel bad for working part time with young kids

The view must be so much better up on that high horse.

My sister has married a very well off man.

Some people can afford to not go back to work because they marry money.

Your sister is a dick.

Tell her to piss off.

But also, you can’t win. I read your thread title and thought “I wonder if this will be a woman being made to feel bad for “only” working part time, or a woman being made to feel bad for working at all” because people will judge both. So just do what works for your family and ignore everyone else.

What would she think of women who work full time whose kids are in nursery full time?! Part time sounds ideal for you and your family. Don't let her put you off. She sounds like a judgemental snob tbh

Ignorance is bliss. After a couple of kids she might be desperate to get out of the house for a few hours.
You do you.

Don't defend yourself.

Just say, 'oh, I thought we were friends. I hadn't realised you were so unkind'.

Tbh I don’t think you have the kindest way to talk about other people either. Sponge off husband? Plenty of couples are a team where one earns more than another and they are happy to rely on their spouse

Should I speak to her about this?

Yes. You could start by pointing out that there are a lot of words for women who live off men, none of them pleasant.

I wouldn't speak to her. It's very hard to change people's views generally

Just live your life confident in your own decision. It's between you and your partner how you support each other, face the world together and raise your children.

1 in every 4 households with children depend on a single parent, and 89% of those are single mums. I do think it's worth considering what happens if the only earner in the household leaves.

I haven't gone back to work yet and my youngest is 5, I will only be working part time when I do go back. I can't imagine judging someone for doing different though? It totally depends on circumstances and what works for their family

When he runs off with his younger secretary in 10 years time your sister is going to be fucked. I'd be angry if I was you she sounds very thoughtless. You're doing the right thing. Women need to have financial independence. Ignore her snarky comments. She is trying to make you feel small. I'm guessing she's not very happy with her lot if she has to take pot shots at you. Rise above it OP.

I wouldn't judge anyone's decisions but for us we did exactly that and I thoroughly enjoyed the time to bond and get to know our kids thru the young years until school. What works for one family might not for another

Well I wanted to stay at home with my children so it was helpful to express it that way. It didn't make sense to force myself back to work in order to pay someone else to care for my children when I wanted to do it myself. I do not regret it.

Your sister is a bitch but i suppose it's easy to chat shit when your children are imaginary...!

I work full time with 2 kids just gone and almost 3.

its a shag but i make 200k per annum and my job doesnt exist as a pt job
I get a lot from working beyond the obvious cash which isn't as much as you think after tax and pension but part funds our nice home and provides savings / financial security but I wish I had your set up.

Everyone is making their choices ... sadly your sister choice seems to be to act like a complete dickhead.

I'd be giving her a wide berth.

Returning to work after mat leave can be hard be kind to yourself...

Except for what you pay into your pension and NICs

Also the job security after childcare is no longer needed and not having to start again at the bottom after a few years out.

I’d never quit my job! It’s so hard to get back into it if you step out.

ive been promoted twice since my daughter was born (she’s 4) and im Just about to go back after second maternity leave - I earn 16k more than I did when I returned after my first maternity leave.

if I hadn’t went back to work we’d have way less money. And also yes childcare is expensive - but it’s only for 3 more years!

time flies

I never went back to the workplace so I didn't have that hassle to deal with. Got a disabled child to deal with for the rest of my life so not playing Desperate housewives:).

I'd say, 'What a rude and judgemental thing to say. IF you ever actually have children I hope no one is as critical to you about your own life choices'.

Said in brisk tone of voice.

Please stop thinking like this. Childcare costs are a family cost, and should be viewed as an investment into the woman's career, or future earning potential, or pension, or future security, or all of the above.

It's a lot of money but it's for a relatively short time and it's not helpful to express it the way you have.

Yes, tell her to butt out. Or donate a few thousand quid every couple of months.

My sister has recently been making remarks about how she would never go back to work after having a child (they don’t have any yet)

”When/if you have children, you’ll realise how hard it is to stay home with small children. My husband is perfectly capable of supporting us. I go to work for me”.

This is all well and good until you're a mum of a primary-age child, not only trying to get back into the workforce after 5 years out but also into something where you can make school dropoffs and pickups work between you.

This^
And tell her the latter calmly using a bored tone of voice, don’t give her a satisfaction of emotional reaction.

Will see, by the way, her DH might have a very different view on that issue.

I don’t understand her perspective at all. 2 days a week is nothing and if anything the children get exposed to new experiences which may be beneficial to them.

‘Perfect parents’ like her are always people before they’ve had children. I would honestly tell her you’re not interested in her opinion or views on the matter and if she wants to play trad-wife then she can crack on…but then I am intolerant of people passing judgement on how others work full-time, part-time, or STAH. I’ve done all three and I’ve reached the conclusion that each experience is difficult in its own way and not all options will suit every family, whether it be down to financial factors or other.

I’ll never understand why people can’t just let others be.

I hope her husband truly is a "good guy".

She might drop the supercilious attitude if she finds herself having to go cap in hand to him to ask for money for a haircut or a new bra. You see far too often on the relationships board.