To say no to being a guarantor for SC mum?

This woman makes poor financial decision to the point she has to move from her current living situation. Unless you can potentially afford to pay 12 months rent ontop of your mortgage and living expenses I would say a resounding no.

@OhYesYouDid0 is she moving to free up some money to pay off her debts by downsizing? Or has she not been pay the rent on current home?
I was in a similar situation myself after redundancy (not downsizing or over spending). I had to cut everything to the bone just to get by.
I managed to pay everything off bit by bit and have never had another cc or debt since.
It's a horrible feeling and I'm sure she'll learn her lesson.
Perhaps if you up the kids being their to four nights, she could get an other pt job.

I always said I would never be a guarantor for anyone. I had to for my daughter and grandchild. Perhaps speak to her yourself before making the final decision.

Leopards do not change their spots. If she is in financial trouble now, unless she seeks professionally budgeting help, she will not walk a different financial road by being further subsidised by her ex (your DH).

my SIL tried this on with us many years ago and put a proposal forward if she could get a consolidator loan using our property to secure it, how much better off financially she would be and out of strife. As it was one of the nicer periods of our relationship with her, we thought long and hard over it. Like you, it was a relatively affordable sum for us should she have defaulted, but there was an unease about it, so we eventually declined.

she was able to still get the lower interest load rate through by knowing someone at the bank, and within 12 months had got herself back into further credit debt. Filed for bankruptcy.

if I were you, I would guide her to an appointment with a budgetary service. It’s a practical solution and they are usually in a position to renegotiate with lending providers.

You are not.

give a man a fish, he eats for a night, teach him how to fish etc etc (or however that saying goes).

On my first reading of this I thought it was a mortgage scenario in which case I would say no as that’s a long term commitment and would need to be declared if you were borrowing for anything else. if it’s renting I would say yes with agreement to remove after 12 months. Moving into a flat share and being separated from kids is really harsh and would affect the kids. Obviously it’s of their own making. I would do this and make clear last time support of this nature will be offered.

Definitely not you will be liable for her rent if she cannot pay. Can he help another way cutting her debt or paying more towards kids so she can concentrate on her finances ignore the people who say he should. He can house them but I expect he wouldn’t want them to be away from mum. I say she got herself in this mess it’s her job to get out of it. I would suggest a loan or something rather than a noose around your necks. I’ve been a guarantor it’s not fun having bailiffs knocking for a debt that technically not yours.

This isn’t true. The stipulation to be able to cover rent now is something like 3 or 4 times the rent. I rent, we pay £1100 atm, going rate is £1500. I own my own business with many staff and am okay financially- own a holiday home, we do days out, girls weekends abroad etc but when I rented this property I did not bring in £4400 a month in working income and needed a guarantor or 6 months rent upfront to be accepted- no bad credit, never missed a rent payment in the 13 years I’ve been renting- didn’t matter. I don’t earn enough. The rental market is tight at the moment, there are so many people competing for 1 rental property,

It helps poorer ones from being outbid by wealthier renters.

Guarantors don’t pay monthly rent? They only are liable if the tenant defaults.

And being able to pay monthly rent does not mean you have a spare tens of thousands lying around for a house deposit.

The OP has already said her and her DH are not going to do it. They've already made the decision not to be guarantors.

Are people not reading the updates?

You and your husband would be insane to be a guarantor to somebody who struggles with being sensible with money. I know she is the mother of his children but I would refuse.

In many divorces the higher earner acts as a guarantor of the children’s home for a number of years. So in some sense, it’s not uncommon.

However, it sounds like she is struggling to provide for the children, and the children must come first (and do come first in the eyes of the law).

So there are two options: one, the children come and live with you until she sorts herself out, or your husband provides money or guarantees so they have a roof over their head.

if you don’t want the children with you, your husband has to pony up the money in one form or another to provide for his children. If you’re happy to have them, I’d go down that route (which may involve the courts, so consult a solicitor). That their mum is a deadbeat, is not really something they deserve to be punished for.

Tell her to try Rent Guarantor UK. They provide a professional guarantor service to support tenants in securing a rental property.

If she has absolutely no history of late rent/eviction etc, then I can see why your husband would consider it. I don't think offering to take the children more is helpful, feels a bit like kicking her when she's down (although you clearly aren't).

I agree, if DH can cover her rent without affecting your household then it’s fine. Otherwise decide if you are willing to make the sacrifices needed to pay her rent, otherwise say no.

Renters Rights Bill prevents tenants paying up front on rent. You know the bill that's supposed to help tenants.

So she is already getting £650 every month as well as only paying half child needs, when they are with you half the time.
Presumably she gets her child allowance etc.
May pay for lessons in money management but that would be it

*Did not want

Well I got divorced because I did want to be obliged to be responsible for my ex's finances. (Financially irresponsible being an understatement) My priority was providing a home for our child, so he had to go. I think you're right offer to have the children with you more or living with you and that's it xx

I wouldn't loan what I couldnt afford to lose

And that's more so for being a guarantor where interest comes into. Theres a reason banks and loaning companies won't trust her with their money and they have more to spare.

agreed!

I think it's the right thing to do not being a guarantor, all in all it sounds way too risky for all involved and if it all went wrong then it would go badly wrong. Right now the children have your house to live in if things with their mum went tits up, what happens if you have to sell up to pay off her debts?

I would only consider it if there were no previous issues with paying back money and it was the only way to guarantee housing. My parents were my guarantor for Uni and then for the first rental I shared with my husband but we were just starting out and I'm guessing it was due to not having any previous official rental history.

I say this as someone who would be in a similar position if I ever split from my husband due to only earning minimum wage. I would never dream of asking him and his wife to help me out after 10 years!

You're right that there is still a chance that you would possibly receive nothing from her in way of rent but it would be a safer and more sensible option than signing up to paying potentially thousands of pounds to a landlord as her guarantor.

I think if you have your money earmarked for something else and you are ideologically opposed to financially supporting her then you have your answer. I'm just wondering how you and your husband will navigate this moving forward. What if he decides he wants to sign up as her guarantor - can he legally do that without your permission given you are married?

The same people who can afford to pay their own mortgage and a full monthly rent for someone else. Which is what a guarantor would need to do. If OP and her husband couldn't afford this then there would be no question to answer and no point to the thread. And yeah some people do have much more money than others.

Do not agree to being guarantor ... her elderly parents can if they want to

Unfortunately, the ex has already shown that the she is prepared to put her home and her two children's home at risk by taking on a large amount of debt. She has already done so as she lost her current home and cannot find a new one.

she is in a bit of a mess financial and has a large amount of debt. Long story short she is having to leave her current home

The OP and DH should not enable the ex's financial irresponsibility. Instead, they should concentrate on their responsibilities and make sure they are in a position to provide a home for his two teenage children who could otherwise end up homeless.