To say no to being a guarantor for SC mum?

You know it will start with "I'm just a bit short this month because..." and soon escalate to your DH paying it in full as a never-ending commitment.

Do not do this. Find another way to help her.

This is definitely the best idea. We had a guarantor and they would be contacted the instant our payment was late - there was a discrepancy on dates in documentation.

A guarantor is essentially saying they will cover the rent and any fees if the tenant is unable to pay.

This puts your and your home at risk and it's no good saying you cannot afford it. The courts will make you pay and will send bailiffs to you, not the tenant, if they don't.

You’d be crazy to agree. Of course you shouldn’t do this.

It's very difficult because they are his children, but being a guarantor can have implications and she already has a bad track record with money. I might agree for limited period, but that's probably not going to be acceptable. However, he has a duty to make sure his children are adequately housed.

But the children are coming first...they have the offer of a secure home with their dad and op whilst their mum sorts herself out.

Noone is saying take the kids and never see mum again...they are saying, if she does not manage to get a house without op and her ex being a guarantor there is options where the kids will be secure and safe and mum can have some breathing space to find herself a home for her and the kids

Op and husband would be mad to put themselves at risk like this

"The only other option is if the DC come to live with you." OP has made clear she is perfectly happy for this to happen.

Do not do this. It will affect every financial decision you make in future as you will have to declare your liability and it will be taken into account. If they default, you will have no rights over their property, which will they continue to own, but your assets will be taken to pay their debt if you cannot meet it with cash. The very fact that they have been asked for a guarantor shows they are higher risk. It’s tough, but if they can’t afford something, they can’t have it. You would be effectively agreeing to buy it for them. Your husband cannot separate it from your joint finances. If they run up penalties as well as debts, your liability could be limitless. Do not do this.

She can't as she has no family

She had one, but is now separated. He should be willing to do this for her, as she has fallen on hard times and is the mother of his kids

Taking the kids away from her isn't the right thing to do here

I would never be guarantor for someone who is not sensible with money, you will end up footing the bill.

So not only does she lose her home. But also her children.
She is obviously struggling with col. Especially after being made redundant and a single parent.
Finding somewhere to rent can be very hard if you don't have perfect credit or 2 wages coming in.

"He's just a guarantor, not paying the rent" WTAF?! Do you know what being a guarantor means? OP's DH absolutely would be paying the rent if his ExW defaults.

I used to work in debt recovery and typically it's the nicest, most well meaning people that sign guarantees and most of them end up being pursued for the debt and it costs them 1000s.

Definitely don't sign an open ended one or one with no clear provisions on max amount, max term and clear & fair methods to revoke it. Unfortunately most rental guarantees are open ended.

If it does want to help, it might be a case of him giving her the money to get a guarantee from a guarantee company, I.e. a once off cost/fee.

He should also give her information on steps change etc. What's causing the main issue? If it's a credit card where the minimum payment is in excess of what she can afford or ever did he way out off- perhaps he could clear that to help if he's feeling really generous.

Whatever he does, signing an open ended rental guarantee is beyond foolish.

Let's be honest, guarantees are only requested where the person themselves isn't a good bet. (Often not their fault, but it is the reality).

But it is a big deal...its potentially paying the rent of her property for however long he signs up to be guarantor for.

All she has to happen is an unexpected bill or a sob story and op and her husband have to pay the rent.

He already pays a good amount of maintenance, half expences for his kids and has them 3 nights a week (rightly so) he is already taking responsibility for his children and mum needs to come up with something else.

This type of agreement tends not to have an end date, so you can not limit the liability. You have said she s not financially responsible and this is unlikely to change. I'm afraid I would be saying no.

@OhYesYouDid0 YANBU OP - your instincts are spot on. Do not, ever, act as guarantor for anyone (even your own DH). They can make all the promises in world about not needing to call on your guarantee, but none of us can see into the future and unfortunately, shit happens. Unless you can easily afford to meet that commitment (and wouldn't resent it), do not do it.

Its not really about his ex though it’s about his DC
Can’t believe someone has suggested the ex going to a flat share and the DC going to dads full time
The DC must come first, and if you get with someone with kids ( which I would not ) you have to accept that

He's just a guarantor, not paying the rent

Another one who doesn’t understand what being a guarantor means.

She has poor financial control and has a high risk of defaulting which is why they are offloading the risk to a guarantor. DONT DO IT ..she will drag you down with her..

She's not being constantly bailed out. She's a working mother taking care of his kids, it's not like he's paying her bills.

He should be a guarantor for the woman he made a family with, it's really not a big deal.

Precisely, this thread is an eye opener in how appalling some people's understanding of finances is, and their level of expectation in a spouse!!
Or that they've time travelled 700 years!
"Worry not fair Gertrude! Thou hast MARRIED!! and must never consider personal responsibility again. Now there is a MAN in thy life!!'

Do you understand what a guarantor is?

If the Mum continues being financially irresponsible then op and her dh will absolutely be paying the rent, and the court fees.

No he shouldn't. He and OP are married and being guarantor for his ExW has the potential to harm their family's finances. No way should he do this without OP's agreement.

Most of the time, a major point of separating is so that you aren’t responsible for your ex anymore.

Parents are responsible for for making sure their children are ok, they aren’t responsible for their ex. Especially not when the ex has been irresponsible with money to her children’s detriment.

Honestly no

i got a 6yr loan out for someone who I thought I could trust and pay it back as family - as had bad credit and couldn’t get one with a low %

where I have a great credit and for a loan with a much lower %

guess who has paid the loan for the last year and has 4yrs left

me as loan is in my name

they don’t have a job and now on uc and no money

I will NEVER take a loan or be guarantee ever again

as if they don’t pay you have to !!!

They’re not being removed from their mother. They already spend nearly half the week with OP and her DH and they’re welcome to stay full time whilst their mother gets sorted. He also pays maintenance for them. There’s no question of them not being housed.

If their mother is constantly bailed out, how is she going to get herself on an even keel? The children are what’s important and having a familiar roof over their heads is surely better than uncertain, short term rentals.