To say no to being a guarantor for SC mum?

I wouldn’t - it sounds like she’s not great with money and also on the current climate, what would happen if she lost her job again (or you did). If she always has people bailing her out financially, she won’t learn. (Speaking from experience)

@OhYesYouDid0
The bottom line is this - what happens if you become guarantors and she loses her job, or becomes ill/car accident and cannot work. She is unable to pay the rent and the landlord takes her to court to get her evicted. This takes several years and at the end of it you are liable for hundreds of thousands of pounds of back rent and court costs including baliffs. During this time you cannot get a loan, or get a good mortgage rate, or allowed to take out a credit card at decent Apr as you no longer have decent credit rating yourself. You could either have bailiffs take items away from your home or you could actually have to sell your house. And then be unable to get a rental without a guarantor yourself as you are no longer a "safe bet". How does that possibility make you feel? Panicked?

The above happens more than you realise. Don't play around with your future and your own credit rating.

Most definitely. It will show up on any credit check.

God OP. What a tough situation to be in.

As a step mum I will say I couldn’t turn this request down. It’s not about her, it’s about the kids and moving in with you FT due to housing situation isn’t the right way for them to come to yours full time. It will lead to many issues in the long term.

I don’t think I would sign as guarantor but explore other options (pay more upfront find a guarantor company etc).

Be careful saying no though - there will be ramifications if you do which might outweigh some financial constraints

Hubby and I were in this position with his sister, she owed money all over the place, had bad credit and asked us to be a guarantor for a house. We both said no but agreed on if she found a house we would gift 3 months rent straight to the agent. Lovely as my sister in law is there was no way knowing a bad history of money we would become a guarantor for her. Should she stop paying it came from us as long as she decided to stay there. So no to anyone with a bad credit and history of debt but we were happy to help gift. She is still in the house we helped with and is slowly getting it together now

My ex is my guarantor on my tenancy. I’ve lived here 10 years with no issues.

I'm not in this scenario.

But I'd tell all women, that if you have a man's baby, don't picture it being all dreamy, picture his new wife being told not to let him help you when you're going through a tough time!

If she defaults they could be paying her rent at least until the end of the rental agreement or until something changes with that agreement. Sot it’s not a question of getting fed up of handing over the money - they are legally obligated to do so.

Hard no. Could end paying her rent for years - are you going to throw her out if she stops paying and get her evicted?

This is madness - a financially responsible woman should not have another child because a squanderer ex f-ed up big time?

Also worth remembering that - even though she's shit with money - the ex is starting from a weaker position because she's a single income.

It's financially harder and harder these days not to be in a couple.

He is being a guarantor, not providing for her

If it all goes tits up, yes he'll be liable, but the alternative is the woman who carried his children ending up on the street

She isn't simply an ex

@OhYesYouDid0 also - you can pay for a guarantor service.

Obviously that would be an additional cost but it's not huge - maybe something your OH could cover by foregoing a luxury of his, so that it doesn't impact your joint saving?

Having said that, there could be a middle ground - if it's a fixed term contract he can be guarantor just for that period (he'd need to make sure it didn't just rollover).

So she signs for a year, and by the time you were ready to have a baby/do the other things the risk would have passed.

She will hopefully be in a better posisiton by that point and could pay for the guarantor service herself.

It's like you don't even see the kids as her responsibility. She's had someone else's, so she's owed everything.

They're her kids, not something she's burdened herself with like a fucking hero on behalf of someone else. Frankly she needs to sort her life out and act like a responsible, accountable mother.

This is the problem though. What you want to do in “your own lives” has to come second to the wellbeing of all of the children involved. Your husband has three children - massive responsibility already. And the older two will have their wellbeing significantly impacted if their mum can’t get anywhere for her and them to live.

Come on, they are married, he does not have his OWN money. The money is theirs.

@OhYesYouDid0 Do not be a guarantor. What would happen if you got made redundant/your DH is ill etc etc. Will severely impact your lives if she doesn't pay the rent (likely given past history).
By all means give her a 6 month rent in advance lump sum, but you know you won't get it back.

The mum in question got money from the sale of the house,which she squandered.
And then got herself in more debt.

Maybe rather than coming for the op and her dh,maybe ask the dm why she tucked up her lids life.
She did this no one else.

The problem is, if she can’t pay her rent in the new place and you get fed up of handing over the money to cover it then where does she go?
Will your husband then feel responsible for finding her somewhere else to live or will you be paying for her rent indefinitely?
Its far too risky given her financial history and the debts she’s got herself into.

There are two children that live with their mum. They are the ones that should be housed with suitable homes with dad and mum. I don’t think bringing in another child into the mix is helpful to the existing children.

i probably have worded this badly.

Has she consolidated her debts with a debt company? This would mean her credit rating is shot, but she will be making fixed payments against those repayments. It will also stop her from getting further credit so you shouldn’t have to worry about more debt - though she will have this issue when renting.

If she has not done this then I would say no as she could get into more debt.

I would be guarantor on the provision that she has done the above!

I think you've answered your own question, in all fairness. She is not good with money, has taken out things on finance - some unnecessary spending by her own admission, and whilst she says she's earning a low wage, the amount she's receiving in maintenance, plus half of everything else paid for that you've listed, is not an unsubstantial amount.

The right thing to do for your family would be to say no. It's too risky. She really should be managing her money better and if you bail her out this time, there's no incentive for her to do so. You also shouldn't have to change your own plans to do this. That wouldn't be fair. Your dh can deliver the news kindly and gently to let her know after careful consideration its not something you feel comfortable with but will try and help out in other ways.

Sorry but it most certainly is ‘doing that much’. It’s potentially financially ruinous if she defaults on the rent. Once you’ve signed as a guarantor you’re legally obligated to take over the rent payments if the tenant defaults. The guarantor cannot end the agreement without the permission of the landlord - unlikely if the tenant is in arrears, and if you find you can’t afford the payments yourself the landlord can take you to court and have the resulting costs added to the debt. OP’s DH has no financial obligation to his ex beyond the responsibility to the children, and nor should he.

Do not agree to this. Ultimately it is not your problem and there is a reason she has money troubles. You don’t want these to become your financial problems as well.

@Startinganew32 the original poster appears to be swerving this question though, why is it that D P is in a position where they could not only afford child-support and covering the rent if necessary and Mum doesn’t have the money for a new car and to make ends meet during the cost of living crisis? Is that entirely because of the OP income? Or are there other reasons?