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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say no to sharing table at coffee shop

113 replies

OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 15:37

I bought a coffee and cookie and sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

A few minutes later a couple came in, bought their drinks, stared at me as if I'd done something wrong and then asked if they could sit at my table with me (as it was the only one in the sun).
I was confused ....all the other tables were empty.

AIBU to say no? I didn't want to awkwardly sit there reading by book but pretending not to be able to hear their conversation. I could have moved one of the ones in the shade into the sun, but I was confused about why they didn't just do that themselves since I was already sat down and settled in.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:37

TheIceBear · 19/04/2025 16:32

It is unreasonable and bizarre to ask. Why on earth would someone who wants to read a book in peace want to sit beside two people they don’t know and listen to their conversations?

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Yeh exactly. Also why would anyone want to have someone at the table with them listening 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:37

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 19/04/2025 16:27

@OrangeChips1 so where did they sit in the end? did they move a table into the sun??

Yep they moved a table a few inches so it was in the sun

OP posts:
nadine90 · 19/04/2025 16:34

CFs! They were weird and entitled for even asking. They were obviously hoping you’d move and they could enjoy the best table in the sun. Glad you stood (or sat!) your ground. Hope it boosted your assertiveness and knocked their entitlement down a little (though I doubt it) x

TheIceBear · 19/04/2025 16:32

NineLivesKat · 19/04/2025 15:38

They were not being unreasonable to ask. You could have said no, or suggested they move a table. If you didn’t, well, that’s kind of on you!

It is unreasonable and bizarre to ask. Why on earth would someone who wants to read a book in peace want to sit beside two people they don’t know and listen to their conversations?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 19/04/2025 16:27

@OrangeChips1 so where did they sit in the end? did they move a table into the sun??

CarpetKnees · 19/04/2025 16:17

From the title, I had assumed the coffee shop was full.

The fact that there were plenty of other tables makes it a completely bizarre request, so no, of course YANBU to say no.

Mudkipper · 19/04/2025 16:16

YANBU. What happens is that it stops being your space because there are two of them, and becomes their space. Can you imagine circumstances under which you would have asked a couple sitting at a table if you could share it with them? No, you cannot, because you wouldn't dream of it.

FlowerFairy12 · 19/04/2025 16:13

In this instance YANBU because there were plenty of other seats. The only time it’s ok to ask to share is when there’s nowhere else to sit.

Mylittlebobble · 19/04/2025 16:11

Sometimes people can catch you off guard. Well done for not giving in.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:09

Miaowzabella · 19/04/2025 16:06

Ah, but she broke the unwritten law by being female in a public place and blatantly enjoying her own company.

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Goodness, I'm lucky I live in an era and country where this is allowed actually 🤔

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Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:08

Arniesaxe · 19/04/2025 15:56

sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

What flavour book was it? Wink
I think they were cheeky to ask too. Fair perhaps if there were no tables available and you had room where nobody else did, but not if it was just their preference.

I hear you on the asserting boundaries thing. It feels very uncomfortable at first. By my own account though, it DOES get easier!

Thank you! I'm looking forward to it getting easier.

I'm reading "Mahabharata" , an Indian Epic. Rather hefty!

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Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:06

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 15:54

My SD is an absolute arse, very long story. The other week, someone asked if he'd move tables as his table was the one they always sat at. Instead of saying no, he told them to fuck off.

Haha love the frankness 🤣

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Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:06

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 15:52

The more you assert yourself, the easier it will get. Good on you for saying no.

Thank you! One day I won't have to go on MN to check I was okay 😅

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Miaowzabella · 19/04/2025 16:06

GiroJim100 · 19/04/2025 15:57

They shouldn’t be asking. Simple as that. You got the best table first and there was no lack of other tables for them to sit on. It’s the kind of behaviour where I imagine their motive was to then just make you feel uncomfortable so they could have the table to themselves.

Ah, but she broke the unwritten law by being female in a public place and blatantly enjoying her own company.

Gotback · 19/04/2025 16:04

Well done standing up for yourself 👍

MoominMai · 19/04/2025 16:01

I bet they’re the kind of people who at a gym ask you to move because they’re holding a space for their late friend who ‘always works out there next to them’ 🙄

GiroJim100 · 19/04/2025 15:57

They shouldn’t be asking. Simple as that. You got the best table first and there was no lack of other tables for them to sit on. It’s the kind of behaviour where I imagine their motive was to then just make you feel uncomfortable so they could have the table to themselves.

Arniesaxe · 19/04/2025 15:56

sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

What flavour book was it? Wink
I think they were cheeky to ask too. Fair perhaps if there were no tables available and you had room where nobody else did, but not if it was just their preference.

I hear you on the asserting boundaries thing. It feels very uncomfortable at first. By my own account though, it DOES get easier!

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 15:54

My SD is an absolute arse, very long story. The other week, someone asked if he'd move tables as his table was the one they always sat at. Instead of saying no, he told them to fuck off.

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 15:52

The more you assert yourself, the easier it will get. Good on you for saying no.

GCAcademic · 19/04/2025 15:52

NineLivesKat · 19/04/2025 15:38

They were not being unreasonable to ask. You could have said no, or suggested they move a table. If you didn’t, well, that’s kind of on you!

I disagree. I think they were very unreasonable to ask.

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 15:50

Hortus · 19/04/2025 15:49

Perfectly reasonable to say no. Why would you want to sit with strangers? Weird they would ask quite frankly. I'd have looked at them like they were nuts and said "no, I prefer to sit on my own, there are plenty of free tables".

That's more or less the gist of what I said 🤣

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Hortus · 19/04/2025 15:49

Perfectly reasonable to say no. Why would you want to sit with strangers? Weird they would ask quite frankly. I'd have looked at them like they were nuts and said "no, I prefer to sit on my own, there are plenty of free tables".

Original poster
OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 15:48

GreenWheat · 19/04/2025 15:47

Some people have the most amazing brass neck on them. They probably fancied sitting in the sun and thought they'd take a chance on you being timid and submissive. Glad you said no!

Thank you! Yeh this was most likely it...

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GreenWheat · 19/04/2025 15:47

Some people have the most amazing brass neck on them. They probably fancied sitting in the sun and thought they'd take a chance on you being timid and submissive. Glad you said no!