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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say no to sharing table at coffee shop

113 replies

OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 15:37

I bought a coffee and cookie and sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

A few minutes later a couple came in, bought their drinks, stared at me as if I'd done something wrong and then asked if they could sit at my table with me (as it was the only one in the sun).
I was confused ....all the other tables were empty.

AIBU to say no? I didn't want to awkwardly sit there reading by book but pretending not to be able to hear their conversation. I could have moved one of the ones in the shade into the sun, but I was confused about why they didn't just do that themselves since I was already sat down and settled in.

OP posts:
Tortielady · 20/04/2025 22:28

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 15:54

My SD is an absolute arse, very long story. The other week, someone asked if he'd move tables as his table was the one they always sat at. Instead of saying no, he told them to fuck off.

Well you know what they say about stopped clocks...whatever he's like generally, your SD was on the nail there and should run courses on Seeing Off CFs in Anglo-Saxon. For a fee naturally. 😁

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 20/04/2025 22:08

asrl78 · 20/04/2025 18:35

I think people are exaggerating the attitude of the people asking to sit at the OP's table. They asked politely, they didn't demand to sit there and they accepted no for an answer so by definition they were not entitled. I don't even think it is cheeky, if you don't ask you don't get, and if the worst is a no you haven't lost anything. The other day I was at a very busy service station, got a meal from McDonalds and went to sit down. There were no completely free tables but several with one or two people sitting at a table for four. I found one with one person sitting at a table with four seats and asked if I could sit down and they kindly obliged, I sat diagonally opposite so as to be as far away from them as possible. The alternative of trying to eat a McDonalds meal standing up with a lot of people milling around would have been a lot more difficult.

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But that's exactly what the huge difference is: there were several completely free tables with nobody sitting at them.

The vast majority of people would consider having to share a table with a stranger a much less preferable state of affairs than having one to yourself/just for your own group; and they would only even (disappointedly) consider sharing with strangers if there were no alternative.

August1980 · 20/04/2025 21:03

I wouldn’t have moved the furniture around.

gestruggelt · 20/04/2025 18:42

YANBU.
They were being ridiculous.
They wanted the table in the sun and they hoped that you would get up and move to another table because you wouldn't actually want to share and have to listen to their conversation while trying to read.
Plenty of other tables available, tough shit if they weren't in the sun.

If all the other tables had been full and you'd said no, that would have been a bit mean and unreasonable but that wasn't the case.

asrl78 · 20/04/2025 18:35

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 19/04/2025 17:16

I personally wouldn't have been so frank; but I think it very much depends on how he said it - and I would also have declined.

If he did it aggressively, that's uncalled-for; but if it was an informal, jovial response to match a very cheeky request, I don't honestly blame him.

That's a real non-justification on their part: basically saying "Can we sit here, because we want to - and we believe that our wants trump yours?" They have a nerve expecting another customer to move from a particular table in a cafe that's open to anybody (and presumably on a first come first served basis), when there are other free tables, just because that's the one they always choose when it happens to be available!

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I think people are exaggerating the attitude of the people asking to sit at the OP's table. They asked politely, they didn't demand to sit there and they accepted no for an answer so by definition they were not entitled. I don't even think it is cheeky, if you don't ask you don't get, and if the worst is a no you haven't lost anything. The other day I was at a very busy service station, got a meal from McDonalds and went to sit down. There were no completely free tables but several with one or two people sitting at a table for four. I found one with one person sitting at a table with four seats and asked if I could sit down and they kindly obliged, I sat diagonally opposite so as to be as far away from them as possible. The alternative of trying to eat a McDonalds meal standing up with a lot of people milling around would have been a lot more difficult.

knor · 20/04/2025 18:30

I think it was weird of them! As people have said, if it was because there was no room fine. But if there’s empty tables, no reason to ask you

Laura95167 · 20/04/2025 18:08

I think its weird and uncomfortable to ask if there are other free tables.

I think its fine to say no, why don't you just move one of those free ones into the sun

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 19/04/2025 20:34

MarkWithaC · 19/04/2025 17:25

I know. A few inches too, not across a massive courtyard or something
GrinI think they expected you to say a humble yes, and then were going to sit down and have a loud and annoying conversation so you decided to move.
Good on you for being politely assertive.

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Either that or they had 8,563 holiday photos from their recent week in Blackpool and they were actively looking for their next victim!

PhilomenaPunk · 19/04/2025 19:12

Well done for saying no OP.

Karasis · 19/04/2025 18:57

It was rude of them to ask and in no way reasonable. Well done for saying no.

LusciousLondoner · 19/04/2025 18:37

They were swingers and had you lined up for a 3some!

Illegally18 · 19/04/2025 18:36

OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 15:46

Setting boundaries is a fairly new thing for me due to various childhood blah blahs and I feel panicky doing so. The old me would have moved to another table for them. The new me set a boundary and then is having to breathe through the discomfort. Not sure which is better 🤣

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well done!

Magnastorm · 19/04/2025 18:24

Cheeky fuckers. The only time this is acceptable is if a place is absolutely mobbed. If it's just because you've got the best table they can absolutely get in the bin.

Fannyannie · 19/04/2025 18:23

Cheeky fuckers ! They missed the sunny table - tough !!

BobbyBiscuits · 19/04/2025 18:22

I certainly wouldn't try and sit on an already occupied table when many others were free.

That does seem odd. You declined and presumably that was the end of it. I guess you could say you were waiting for a couple of mates?

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 19/04/2025 18:18

OrangeChips1 · 19/04/2025 16:08

Thank you! I'm looking forward to it getting easier.

I'm reading "Mahabharata" , an Indian Epic. Rather hefty!

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Which version? There’s quite a few.

pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 18:09

Pluvia · 19/04/2025 17:50

They were weird and I would have said no, there's loads of other tables for your to choose from.

I wouldn’t risk saying so as ime people start arguing with you and explaining their actions and it’s so annoying, just “no” would suffice.

pizzaHeart · 19/04/2025 18:07

Daringdarlingholly · 19/04/2025 15:39

I actually think they were unreasonable to ask when there were other places available to sit, a different story when the place is busy and tables are full.

This ^
And it doesn’t matter that it was the only table on the sun spot.

ThatNimblePeer · 19/04/2025 18:04

Couples really love making people on their own feel they have no right to public space. The sense of entitlement can be breathtaking, honestly. (And no, the fact that I’m on my own doesn’t mean I want to be your photographer, either).

GreenWheat · 19/04/2025 17:51

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 19/04/2025 17:17

They sound like these people who sit right next to you when the entire bus is empty.

Oh God I hate that. These days I just get up and move, I no longer care if they find that rude.

Pluvia · 19/04/2025 17:50

They were weird and I would have said no, there's loads of other tables for your to choose from.

menopausalfart · 19/04/2025 17:41

@IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta His response was a prime example of what not to do. Saying no was perfectly reasonable.

SmallFiresBurning · 19/04/2025 17:40

The most important thing I want to know is - what are you reading, and is it any good?

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 19/04/2025 17:31

People are proper cheeky these days. I was sat in a cafe with my children once and a young woman say down next to my child and pushed his food out the way. She didn’t even say anything and when I said excuse me she just pretended not to hear, if I wasn’t breastfeeding my baby I’d have been a lot more aggressive. Thankfully her friends told her to move which she did whilst smirking.

Iamnotalemming · 19/04/2025 17:31

I used to be you OP. I still remember having to assert myself in a queue in a NY deli about 15 years ago where some CF had pushed in front of me (and everyone else) and tell him I was next. Happily the man behind the counter stood up for me when the angry new yorker started yelling at me. I still remember feeling so stressed I could barely eat my pastrami sandwich! But proud of myself.

Well done, keep at it.