To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

I don't see anything feminine about looking after your own children, cooking and cleaning. I expect any adult who wants to have children to contribute equally to all of that.

We don't feel pulled in many directions at all and I certainly wouldn't feel at peace or happy if I had to be a SAHM. No thank you.

Money brings the option of independence. I say option because right now you don't need it or want it.
If your DH dies, leaves or starts treating you badly, you might change your mind.

Er. . . are you O.K.? What an odd and aggressive response.

<Continues to back away slowly from any more interaction with this poster.>

Let's hope your hubby never gets made redundant or develops ED... You sound like a charmer!

I've only read the first post, but I can't make head nor tail from the complete word salad the OP posts.

Thankfully neither me or my husband live in the 1950s. We both earn roughly the same so pay equally into our joint account. And as we both work we also do 50/50 housework and parenting. If anything he probably does more than me! It's thankfully never been anything that's been a bone of contention between us!

Oh OP. You sounds totally nuts. But thanks for a brilliant Giggle with all your ‘masculine energy’ nonsense.

tbh it just sounds like you’re lazy and entitled and don’t want to work, so you’re dressing it up to make yourself feel better!

Thinking about this, I've had 2 lengthy marriages (widowed from the first) and from day one of living together, all money went into the joint pot, in both. Good times and bad, feast and famine, big inheritances and student beans on toast.

I think the moral is don't be with someone who is not financially decent and honest, be as sure as you can of that ASAP and the day you find out anything that makes you think they're not, run like the effing wind (male or female)

But your previous post says that in your religion the husband "has to pay all the bills, pay the mortgage." That certainly sounds as though he is obligated to pay for everything. So if you contribute, he would not be upholding his religious obligations?

I find more disturbing that there are women who do not understand their divinity and think being feminine is anti feminist. Why do you view it as the woman is being subservient and depending on the man? Does money = power to you?

You talk about fighting for equality like that’s superior to having peace in equilibrium.

If the women who stay home to look after their children and cook meals, keep a tidy home etc are considered “subservient”, then I see it that men are just as “subservient” to the needs of their families by taking care of them financially. Going out to work and paying bills.

There is so much happiness to be found in supporting eachother to each have specific roles in a marriage and partnership rather than both scrambling to do it all and not as well as you’re pulled in so many directions.

Of course love comes into it, but there are other things as well. For example I would not want to be with an impotent man.

I can if I want to. I'm not obligated to.

Regardless of what she thinks it means I read it as financial control. Financial leadership sounds like corporate speak.

So love doesn’t come into it ?

DH and I have both always worked full time but DH, a doctor, is much better at the nurturing. Time has little to do with the ‘role’.

This might sound harsh, but I wouldn't have gotten married to someone on a low paid job.

"I mean that when the financial foundation isn’t solid or feels uneven, it can ripple into everything else "

with either partner paying the majority, then it's uneven.

He does, and our kids, but obviously he has less time to do so as he is working, but when he’s at home yes absolutely. Maybe nurture isn’t the right word but I’m sure you know what I mean. The main point is we have our “roles” and does bring harmony and balance to us.

What a dumb, arrogant, smug post. No religion dictates that women can't contribute financially if they want to do it. But yes, some religions decree that women aren't obligated to contribute financially. No one forces you to keep your own money, by all means subside a man if you want to, God won't send you to Hell for it, lol.

Before acting so smug online about your beliefs, maybe know what you're being smug about first.

Can you explain what you mean by financial leadership? I’m struggling to understand what you mean by this when you seem to say that it doesn’t mean being the higher earner.

But you can't contribute financially? Thanks but no thanks.

If you scratch the surface, I think you will find that most religions favour men.

I am Muslim. This bears no resemblance to the life of any Muslim I know.

What happens if your DH is in a low paid job which isn’t enough to cover the mortgage, bills etc?

I have different but equal responsibilites in marriage.

Islam

Yet another reason I am very happy to be an atheist. I could never submit to a religion that dictated I couldn't be an equal participant in my own marriage.

Most religions are patriarchal and sexist in any case. Men may be required to pay the bills, but they certainly have the better deal.