To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

You might find your husband made less mess if he knew he was responsible for cleaning it up...

I think the point is you don't have 50% of the independence over your life if the relationship fails.

Your financial Wellbeing is entirely dependent on him wanting to remain in the relationship. His is entirely within his own control.

I'm not judging this, it seems to work for lots of people. But you are only equal so long as he agrees to this situation continuing.

Even if you are married, you can only get half of the assets to this point, if you have sacrificed your earning potential you will still be hit far harder than him.

I know you won't see yourself getting divorced (but not many people do until it happens to them).

There aren't a lot of men on this thread, hence me referencing the other female pp.

'A lot of people don’t count non-financial contributions to a relationship.'

What does that even mean? Only monetary contributions are actual contributions in a relationship? What a miserable outlook. Can't say I know anyone who thinks this way let alone 'a lot of people.'

That's a harsh thing to say to someone who shows up emotionally to lead on the invisible labour dynamic like remembering birthdays and opening the fridge door sometimes.

Tradwife blog looking for outrage farming?

Does your husband know you are playing on his computer?

Vladimir Nabokov's instructions to his students before exams: "Do not pad ignorance with eloquence." Good advice that you may wish to take to heart, OP. You may believe that by using words like "polarity" and "provision" (neither of which mean what you seem to think they mean) you can convince people you are expressing profound ideas. But in reality, you simply show that you haven't the faintest notion about healthy relationships and your woolly language can't hide that.

He would be quite unusual

You keep saying that @FatimasBakery and I know that's how it's supposed to work in Islam. However, for huge numbers of women, including Muslim women, it doesn't happen that way, for all kinds of reasons, not least the difficulty of surviving on one income in the current climate.

I guess it depends on the house and the standards. It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house including bathrooms, windows, mopping of floors, laundering clothes and bedsheets, gardening etc. Not something we could do in a weekend nor want to spend the weekend doing.

My DH would if we could afford to live on one salary and it made sense for that to be mine (FT and with a few years of pushing I'd be the higher earner anyway).

Some men are content with being in whatever role for the family it is. Much like some women.

I have a job and I get to keep all the money.

I guess it depends on the house and the standards. It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house including bathrooms, windows, mopping of floors, laundering clothes and bedsheets, gardening etc. Not something we could do in a weekend nor want to spend the weekend doing.

I think a lot of people (male and female) would lose their sanity, particularly if well educated and used to a mentally stimulating career, to basically become a cleaner (even if it is in their own home).
That's not to say there is anything wrong with it if you don't feel like that.
I wonder how your husband would feel about spending his entire life cleaning up after you all, would he accept this as his 'role' if it was for the greater good of the family? I'd be surprised...

I think the point is you don't have 50% of the independence over your life if the relationship fails.

Your financial Wellbeing is entirely dependent on him wanting to remain in the relationship. His is entirely within his own control.

I'm not judging this, it seems to work for lots of people. But you are only equal so long as he agrees to this situation continuing.

Even if you are married, you can only get half of the assets to this point, if you have sacrificed your earning potential you will still be hit far harder than him.

I know you won't see yourself getting divorced (but not many people do until it happens to them).

I guess it depends on the house and the standards. It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house including bathrooms, windows, mopping of floors, laundering clothes and bedsheets, gardening etc. Not something we could do in a weekend nor want to spend the weekend doing.

I guess it depends on the house and the standards. It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house including bathrooms, windows, mopping of floors, laundering clothes and bedsheets, gardening etc. Not something we could do in a weekend nor want to spend the weekend doing.

It's interesting how so many women equate 50/50 to monetary values. I consider my relationship 50/50 and I don't contribute financially at all.

We outsourced cleaning, laundry, changing the beds etc to our amazing cleaner who became a housekeeper for us where she put away the online shopping order, did batch cooking, organised the gardener, handyman etc. kept our evenings and weekends free.

I guess it depends on the house and the standards. It certainly takes me more than a few hours to properly clean the house including bathrooms, windows, mopping of floors, laundering clothes and bedsheets, gardening etc. Not something we could do in a weekend nor want to spend the weekend doing.

Our weekends aren't swallowed up with chores at all. I suppose it depends on how you do it but with both of us chipping in and it not all left to one person, it really doesn't take long.

Both of us sharing all of the load, both running the house and financially, feels the most balanced and equal for us.

I do the house, DH does the money. Different but both valuable contributions to running our household happily. If I had to work he would have to do half the house along with me and weekends would be swallowed up with domestic chores before Monday rolled around again. I've been there and done it, it's not for us.

I think that's the point many PPs are trying to make. An equal 50/50 relationship doesn't mean paying 50/50 on all the bills.

I do the house, DH does the money. Different but both valuable contributions to running our household happily. If I had to work he would have to do half the house along with me and weekends would be swallowed up with domestic chores before Monday rolled around again. I've been there and done it, it's not for us.